Innocence Lost (Official)

Chapter 18*

The words made me break as a smile placed itself on my face and I hid it. I giggled silently and heard him do the same as he pulled me onto his lap all by himself. I shook my head at him, but didn't fight it. Instead I placed my head on his chest and waited for him to say something.

"In all honesty, I... I'm not one hundred percent sure about how I feel about you, either," he began. His hand brushed up and down my arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps. He continued after a pause. "That's a lie, actually." I looked up at him and he continued, "I... I think I fancy you, honestly."

All though it was a British term I wasn't oblivious to what it meant. My face heated up and my lips turned up at the corners. "You mean you have a crush on me?" I rephrased.

He looked down at me and then smiled. "Yes, Angel. I have a bit of a crush," he confirmed.

I felt slightly smug since I'd never considered a boy might possibly like me. I started high school only a year early, but still it had been weird for me to find guys my age in school in my classes at least. Even if I did, I had none of the needed courage to talk to them. The only guys I ever really talked to were my brother's friends, and even they were simply more of an extended family.

"And you?"

The question reminded me that it was my turn to confess how I felt. How did I feel? I let out a breath of air and closed my eyes. "I..." I bit my lip and then tried to explain my feelings. "I think that I do like you," I said, my words choppy. "But it's just kind of weird for me, because you, you know..." I trailed off, waiting for him to get it and he eventually grimaced.

"Yeah, that's definitely a bit of a, uh... complication," he nodded.

I laughed. Of course it was weird for me to look past the fact that he kidnapped me and stole me from my family and my life. That wasn't exactly a cute couple's background story.

"I honestly don't really know how to defend myself," he said simply.

I shrugged. "I don't know how you can, either."

-

Ever since Harry and I put out our feelings for each other, things sadly haven't exactly taken the best turn. We've sort of only awkwardly hung out around each other since that and the past two days have been irritating because of it. What I said was true. I really didn't find it appropriate to discard our past which hasn't even been a month ago, but I also didn't want to discard my feelings. I haven't ever really felt this way about any one. Harry, though, seems to have taken my words as a way of saying we shouldn't get intimate or whatever.

I wanted to take it back, but it was hard to talk to someone who seemed to constantly somehow be busy.

I sat in bed, two days later, looking for something to watch in the free movies before I came across something that definitely caught a lot of attention when it was released.

5o Shades of Grey.

Don't get me wrong, I mentally made fun of it endlessly when I heard of its existence and I didn't have interest in it really, simply because I didn't understand the attraction of sex quite yet. Not that I did now, but I was, however, interested to see what was so good about this story.

It was twelve in the afternoon, which meant that the likeliness of Harry meeting my presence was low; so I found myself playing the film. At first I was bored by it and made faces whenever she bit her lip. I didn't quite understand what was so sexual about such a simple innocent action.