Bitter Pill to Swallow

Chapter 21

"You alright chérie?" Gene asked gently as he came to her side, "you look a little shaken up."

"I'm fine," she croaked, shaking her head roughly, "just tired is all."

"You're worried about goin' to Uden aren't you?" He asked knowingly, and Valerie couldn't bring herself to respond. "Well whatever we find there, you know I'm always here right?"

"Yeah Chouchou," she sighed shakily, "I know." Gene gave her arm a firm squeeze before heading off to gather his supplies. Valerie took a few moments to compose herself before marching back towards the trucks with determination. She kept herself busy with loading supplies and making sure everyone was accounted for, and only when the last Easy trooper had jumped on a truck did she finally acknowledge that it was time for her to get on the move also. She felt sick at the thought of going to Uden, but she knew she'd have to get it over with eventually.

"Lieutenant Landry," Speirs called from the back of a jeep, "need a ride?" Valerie swallowed the lump in her throat roughly before jumping into the back of the jeep with him. She clenched her fists tightly as they took off down hells highway, trying and failing to prepare herself for what might lay ahead of them.

The road between Veghel and Uden was littered with the charred remains of trucks and tanks, and Valerie felt the pit in her stomach widen to a chasm. She could barely breathe as they made their way towards the town, looking ahead anxiously for signs of damage. But as they pulled to a stop on the main street of Uden Valerie realised that the place looked a hell of a lot better than the town she had just left.

She jumped out of the jeep on trembling legs and looked around in disbelief at the smiling faces of her fellow Easy troops. They were ok. Somehow they had made it through unscathed. As she looked around she spotted Lew and Harry standing together a bit down the road, watching the trucks roll into town with a look of delighted disbelief. Valerie barely suppressed a relieved sob as she ran down the street towards them, throwing her arms around Lew in a tight hug and almost winding him in the process.

"Hey Val," he chuckled, wrapping his arms around her waist in a tight hug, "hell if we're not glad to see you."

"Yeah," Harry chimed in as she turned to him and dragged him into a fierce hug, "we thought you guys were done for with all that shelling."

She sniffled as she pulled away, looking at the two of them as though she were afraid they might disappear if she looked away. "It was awful, but we made it. It's you guys we were worried about. We thought you'd all be dead," she croaked, a lump forming in her throat, "we thought they'd have...have blown this place to bits considerin' how few of you were here."

"Got lucky we pushed them back quick enough that they never realised how low our numbers were," Nix explained.

"We could see the planes as they flew over and rained hell on you guys," said Harry mournfully, placing a hand on her arm, "but we didn't have enough men to send support. We thought most of you would never come back."

She took his hand and squeezed it tightly, having to look away then lest her emotions overwhelm her. She looked down the street and caught sight of a familiar redhead, and her heart hammered so hard in her chest she was sure it might leap out. As though he felt eyes on him he looked up, and when his eyes met hers he froze in place.

"I think there's someone else who might want to see you," Lew said softly, putting a hand on her back and gently pushing her forward, "he was real worried you wouldn't make it, didn't sleep a wink from the stress."

Valerie stumbled forward slightly, taking slow deliberate steps towards him. She came to a stop about two feet away from him, and neither of them said anything for a moment. "Hi Dick," she murmured eventually.

"Hi Valerie," he replied softly, his eyes roving over every inch of her face. They looked at each other for what felt like forever, neither one sure what to do or say. But then as though a switch had flicked they moved in tandem. Valerie threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, her head coming to rest against his chest. Dick wrapped his arms around her back and held her close, resting his cheek on the top of her head. He exhaled heavily and closed his eyes, hardly daring to believe she was right there and she was ok.

"Val, I'm so sorry..."

"Dick, I'm so sorry..."

They laughed as they pulled away from each other, both trying to figure out what to say.

"I'm sorry I didn't do more," he said earnestly, "perhaps if I'd...."

"Dick stop," she cut in, shaking her head firmly, "you didn't have enough men to help us. And what could you have done about the artillery barage? There's no need for you to be apologisin'."

"But I should have done more," he croaked, "I should have planned for the possibility that they'd bring in the heavy artillery. If I hadn't been so..."

"So what?" She snorted, "there was nothing you could have done. Anyway it's me who owes you an apology."

"Val..."

"I spent all night over there worryin' I'd never see any of you again," she continued, a thick lump forming in her throat as she remembered the previous night, "I spent all night feeling guilty that the last conversations I'd had with you had been so tense and that I might never get to make it right. So I'm sorry Dick, I'm sorry I was so short tempered with you."

Dick just gazed back at her for a few moments, unsure of how he wanted to respond to her sincere apology. "Why were you so angry with me?" He eventually asked quietly, his conversation with Nix the previous night coming to the forefront of his mind, "what did I do that made you so angry with me?"

"I..." Valerie started, her heart thumping so hard she thought it might break out of her ribcage, "I was....I mean it was just....I just...." she cursed herself for her silly stuttering, and her cheeks blazed red at the prospect of him finding out the truth.

"Val?" He asked, his brows furrowing with worry, "whatever it is you can tell me, I want you to be honest with me. I want to work it out and go back to how we were before this whole mess."

Valerie chewed her lip subconsciously as her heart sank with guilt. He genuinely looked remorseful for whatever had caused her anger, which made her feel all the worse because he hadn't even really done anything. It wasn't his fault that that woman had kissed him and she'd seen it happen, gotten jealous, and hadn't known how to handle it.

"It wasn't important Dick," she replied carefully, "you didn't even do anything, I was just...."

"Just what?" He continued, and she wished that he would just let it go before she said something stupid.

"Just....I dunno I guess I was....acting irrationally."

"But why was it just me that you were angry with? You were perfectly fine with everyone else. There's obviously something you're holding back," He persisted, and Valerie could have strangled him.

"I don't know Dick," she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in irritation, "I guess I was just annoyed in general and I took it out on you and I'm sorry OK. So can we please just leave it behind us and move past it?"

"Sorry," he conceded, his shoulders sagging, "I just....promise me if you're ever angry with me in future you'll just tell me so we can avoid any more arguments? Believe it or not I don't enjoy arguing with you."

"Really?" She asked sarcastically, "cause I seem to recall many times where..."

"Alright alright okay," he chuckled, shaking his head in amusement, "I didn't enjoy it, you just went out of your way to get under my skin."

"Yeah yeah whatever you say," she teased, punching him on the arm playfully. They grinned at each other for a moment, and Valerie couldn't help but notice what a nice smile Dick had. Such a pity that this war meant he didn't get to show it nearly as often as he should.

"Are we good Val?" He asked quietly, his eyes showing a hint of vulnerability and doubt.

"Yeah Dick," she sighed, smiling up at him softly, "we're good."