toxic love -RAFE CAMERON-

40. better now

"oh- i-im sorry." i say.

"ill give you a minute to read that sweetheart" he says as he leaves the room.

my eyes instantly start to water, i feel terrible.

before i can think to much, i open the letter

dear kaylen,

hi.. you probably want nothing to do with me roght now but i needed to tell you this.

i need to say im sorry, im so so so sorry for absolutely everything ive done in out relationship and how badly i treated you when i was intoxicated.

i cant put it in to words how mad i am at myself for hurting you, because i love you kayeln, i always will.

i wanted to tell you, ive been clean for a month, since the night we broke up. ive been going to therapy, and rehab and i feel so much better.

next i want to say thank you, you told me i needed to get better for myself and i did.

im better now and i miss you so much but obviously you wont want to see me again, and to be honest i dont want to see you again either, it will hurt badly if i see you.

i hope you're enjoying your life and not having to worry about me bothering you anymore.

thats all i really needed to say

take care
-love rafe

no. no. no.

fucking damn it.

i want to hug him so badly.

i decide to text him.

me: hi rafe... long time no talk ig

me: i just read your letter.. i reallyyy want to see you, and i know you dont want to see me but i seriously need to see you. and i want to say im soo so soooo proud of you for your rehab and therapy <3

rafe😻: i thought you blocked me?

me: i never did. i lied.

rafe😻: oh

me: can i please see you?

me: please

rafe😻:im on the mainland staying for a week

me: ill jump on a ferry and come right the fuck now

rafe😻: don't waste your money on that.

me: rafe please i cant wait a week to see you. its already been a month and im going absolutely crazy

rafe😻:im bad for you

me: no your not rafe please let me see you

rafe😻: no

me: PLEASEEEEE

rafe😻: stop it please kaylen

me: can i please come see you i seriously cant wait a week

rafe😻: fine.

me: THANK YOU where are you?

rafe😻: ill be at the mario hotel room 98

me: ill be there as soon as i can

rafe😻: be safe it's raining

me: im always safe

rafe😻:liar

me: maybe

i practically run home, packing a bag that will last me at the most, a week, tell my mom and topper im going to the main land, and speed to the ferry's.

~

i walk to room 98, and knock on the door.

rafe opens it and he looks, tired, stressed, but he grins a little bit when he sees me.

"hi" i say. "i missed you, a lot" i say

he moves to the side and lets me walk in, shutting the door behind me.

i want to hug him but dont want him to push me off so i dont.

i place my backpack down on the floor and sit on the bed.

"why'd you wanna see me?" he asks. "i missed you.." i say honestly as i look at the floor.

he walks closer and lifts my jaw up, making me look at him.

"i missed you to" he whispers. "can i hug you. please?" i ask.

"please do" he say as he slightly opens his arms. i stand up and wrap my arms around him as tight as i can, him doing the same thing.

"i love you rafe, i never stopped" i mumble in to his chest. "ive always loved you, no matter if i want to or not i cant just stop" he says "good i dont want you to stop" i say.

even though i want to hold him forever i let go, and wipe away all my tears, i notice he has some tears falling down his cheeks so i gently reach up and wipe them away with my thumbs.

"kaylen, really, why are you here. its killing me inside not being able to shove you on to that bed and kiss you so fucking much i cant breath" he says.

butterfly's erupt in my stomach like a volcano. "i wanted to tell you i was proud of you, and that i love you, and that im happy for you, and that this has been the worst month of my life." i say.

"worst? why worst? i finally stopped bothering you it should be the best!" he says "rafe you were never bothering me! you made my life fun, exiting, like a roller coaster okay! it hurts me that i cant be able to come home and kiss you at the end of the day!" i say.

"well... i am all better now.." he says.

i grin as i pull his neck down towards me and kiss him, hard and a bit sloppy.