Double Edge | WATTYS 2023 SHORTLIST + AMBYS 2023 WINNER

Chapter 22

"I didn't want it." I looked at him. "It looks better on you, anyway."

***

Sirens filled the air. I opened my eyes and caught the colors in the distance. Red, blue, white. Half of me worried about the police finding us, but they sounded too far. Or was I far?

Paired with the sirens, ringing rang in my ears, pounding in the back of my skull. When I tried to touch my head but found I couldn't. I was numb. "Shit...." I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut.

"You... won," Mark's voice quivered beside me. Weak, barely audible. I turned my head and saw Mark beside me. His gaze was stuck to the sky. The red had faded away. His lids fluttered without shutting.

I placed my hand on the grass. "Mark?"

"You..." he croaked, "...won."

The lights came closer, slowly driving down the street. Weakly, I flipped on my stomach to see them better. Two patrol vehicles. One stopped just half a block away from the park. An officer got out with a flashlight, shining it at the trees. "They're looking... for us," I whispered. "We need... to go."

"No."

I glanced at Mark and got a good look at him. Where I'd hit him, blood-drenched his face. It spilled over his eyes, cheek, and neck. My computers scanned him. His computer chip shifted to the other side of his skull, detached. "Do you... remember when we first met?" he whispered.

I didn't know what to say. I felt like I'd just thought of it, sifting through the memories of my life. Meeting Mark when we were kids, was a part of it—the scrawny new boy at school who couldn't follow the rules. And I remembered thinking if I kept him out of trouble that day, he'd be all right. I cared a lot then. I still do.

"I do, but..." I crawled closer to him with one arm. "That doesn't matter."

"You said... the sweater... it looked better on me," he whispered.

"Shut up," I hissed. "Stop."

"You're right..." Air left him in a painful wheeze. "None of it does... and I'm sorry." His lip quivered as he apologized. It was all I wanted to hear from him; just like Ruben. Ruben admitted he was wrong and cried to me. Sure, he was in pain while it happened, but the apology was there. It was real. And Mark's... felt real, too.

"If it doesn't matter, then," pain shot through my head for a moment, and I looked away, "why?" I lifted just my gaze. "Why did you do this?"

Mark's lips twitched up into a weak smile. The trees overhead moved as the wind blew. A single leaf fell on his forehead before dropping to the grass. "You're... right. You're... right."

He was repeating things. The damage was done. Was he even aware of what happened? What he'd done? What I'd done? He moved his head and looked at me. "I wanted... to be you..." he whispered. "I wanted to be more... than you."

I struggled to sit up. Cradling my arm against my chest, I looked down at him as he moved his eyes to keep his gaze on me. And continued. "I wanted... to be the... bigger guy."

I chewed on my bottom lip and shook my head. "You sacrificed me," I whispered. "You gave me up."

"Money..." Mark laughed weakly. "It changes people...."

Taking a deep breath, I leaned against the tree and looked up at the stars. At my right, the patrol cars moved again. Closer than before. When I glanced back, I saw them at the park's entrance. "I want to say I forgive you, but..." I sighed. "I don't think I can."

"That's okay." Mark's trembling hand struggled to stretch out. "Just take... your chance." Silence. I quickly scanned him, thinking he was gone, but he blinked. His mouth parted. "I wasn't... built for this..." he whispered.