Domino (Ryeji)

3

RYUJIN

Soon they were both cuddled up together under Ryujin's duvet, legs tangled, both with a contented smile on their faces. Yeji tucked into Ryujin, her back pressed against Ryujin's stomach, the slow, steady rise and fall of her chest under Ryujin's arm. However Ryujin herself could not sleep. Her mind still racing. She lay motionless, listening to the noises of the never-sleeping city in the distance, accompanied by the shallow breathing of the girl next to her. She gazed at Yeji's sleeping figure in the darkness and wondered what it would be like if she could just lie next to her forever. She'd never in a million years thought the girl she'd always found herself secretly longing for would feel the same way about her. At a certain point she'd given up thinking anyone would want to be with her, yet here they were.

She wondered what Yeji must be feeling, knowing her mother did not in any way approve. Ryujin thought about what her own parents might say if they were still around before deciding perhaps she'd rather not know. Niggling questions began drilling into the back of her mind as she stared at the ceiling. Would Yeji really want to be with her despite the fact it might cut her off from her own family? Did she even really love her or was she just pouring out her pent up emotions without thinking? Ryujin's long forgotten insecurities slowly resurfacing.

Ryujin shook her head at glanced over at Yeji. Yeji wouldn't do that. For so long Yeji had been Ryujin's only support, like a hand to hold as she navigated blindfolded along a cliff edge, Yeji wouldn't suddenly let go now. And that's when inspiration struck her. As if the vague outline of a song had smacked her square in the face. In an instant, but careful not to wake Yeji, Ryujin removed her arm from round her and reached over to grab her notepad and pencil, scribbling down lyrics as they floated along the breeze.

After half an hour of complete concentration and several redrafts. Ryujin finally wrote a title for the song at the top of the page as she felt sleep begin to weigh on her eyelids. 'Domino' it read. Ryujin then closed the notepad and flung it onto the floor, gulping down air in a huge yawn as she then buried herself under her covers. Gently snuggling up next to the sleeping girl next to her before immediately drifting off into peaceful slumber.

The next morning Ryujin grumpily awoke to the sound of her alarm blaring. She was not a morning person, especially when she'd only managed to get to sleep at half past four the previous night. Stretching and rubbing the sleep out of eyes she looked over next to her expecting to see the girl of her dreams lying peacefully asleep only to find the bed beside her empty. Her heart lurched as she whipped her head around the room.

"Yeji?" She said hoping a reply would come from somewhere. But she was met with silence, a twisting feeling settling itself in her stomach.

She immediately grabbed her phone to see if Yeji had left a message to say where she was. Ryujin held onto the hope that perhaps she'd simply gone out for fresh air or to buy breakfast, but there was nothing there either. Ryujin was about to call her when out of the corner of her eye she noticed a piece of paper lying on the pillow next to her. Recognizing Yeji's handwriting she immediately snatched it up and read it.

'Hey, sorry for leaving so early. My mum was really worried about where I was and begged me to come home saying she wanted to talk.
Also sorry for rushing into things last night, I don't know what took over me. It was unfair of me to push everything on you all of a sudden, I'm not very good at opening up. Sorry.'

Ryujin stared at the words, considering what Yeji meant by the last part. The niggling thoughts poking at the back of her mind again, but she swatted them away. She'd text her later and they could talk about it then.

But later never came.

Yeji didn't contact her the entire rest of the day. Ryujin wasn't worried per say, just confused. She had thought that what happened last night had changed things, but clearly not to Yeji.

It was the same the next day too. Ryujin went off to record her new song with a heavy heart, wondering if it was something she'd said or done. Was it the kiss? Yeji did say in her note she felt they'd rushed into it. Perhaps she just needed some time to process it, Ryujin reassured herself. Pushing aside any negative thoughts and gearing herself up before striding into the studio, her notepad with freshly written lyrics grasped tightly in her hand.

However weeks passed and still no word from Yeji. Ryujin had tried messaging her, asking how she was doing, wondering if the other wanted to meet up and talk about things. But there was still no reply. Yeji hadn't even come to their dance club, she had completely disappeared from Ryujin's life altogether. And Ryujin could no longer make up an excuse as to why, other than the fact Yeji just didn't want to see her. It was simple, Ryujin reckoned, she had taken it too far in a direction Yeji hadn't wanted and ruined what they'd had. After all, Yeji had only just come out and immediately Ryujin had pushed herself on her.

Ryujin hated herself for it. She'd managed to cut off her one friend, the only person who'd ever been there, who helped drag her out of the darkness she could now feel herself falling back into.

It didn't help that she'd had a couple of drinks this evening to try and ward off the loneliness. She was once again left staring out of her window. She took in a shaky breath, her hands balled tightly into fists. Her jaw clenching as she tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. Darkness consuming her thoughts and enveloping her mind. She felt like she was drowning, cold waves swirling around her, crashing over her.

She needed a lifeline. Her lifeline.

With trembling fingers she grabbed for her phone, clicking on the contact of the one person she had always trusted. Someone who had always picked up the phone. The name 'Yeddeong' flashing up on the screen, the light illuminating Ryujin's sunken features.

But the line simply rang out once before cutting off and diverting to voicemail. Ryujin sighed, hanging her head, her phone slipping idly through her fingers onto the floor.

She laughed dryly. Her new song was coming out tomorrow, the one Ryujin had written the lyrics for the last time she saw Yeji. She thought about the words knowing they were all now untrue. A tear slipped from her eye tracking slowly down her face and she shook her head. She remembered the feeling of Yeji sleeping peacefully next to her, of hugging her tightly as if they were inseparable, of her heart feeling so full, her smile bursting.

A sob racked through her body and she looked over at the empty bed. Desperately wishing Yeji was here now. Wondering if that night had been the last time she would ever see her.