To Run and Hide

Part 1: Goodbye

"Why haven't you eaten?"

"I could ask the same for you. You're so thin - is Lord Anwir not feeding you well enough?" I say this with an air of fake caution, something Wynter can see right through. She stiffens. Anything which even slightly villainies Lord Anwir makes her uncomfortable. I closed my mouth before anything else could come rushing out. 

"My Lord is providing me with an adequate food supply, if that is what you are asking." 

A not-answer, I thought dryly to myself. An 'adequate food supply' was a phrase so vague it could really mean anything. A pang of worry hit me. I had the unshakeable feeling that Wynter was being manipulated, but I know that she would never listen to me if I told her so. Lord Anwir was so villainous in my mind that it wouldn't surprise me if he had struck her multiple times as well. My eyes drift down to her exposed shoulder and the mark shows from just above the neckline. She consciously pulls up her dress to hide it, and I give her a suspicious stare. She looks away, the perfect picture of maidenly confusion. I understand the message well enough - don't comment, or he'll find out that I know.

"I need to tell you something." I say to break the silence. Wynter snaps her eyes up to lock in place with mine again.

"Don't." She mutters, shaking her head and averting her eyes for about the fifth time in this conversation.

"You don't understand, Wynter. This can and will help us, forever - I'm going to leave Invidia Hall."

"Where would you go? Lord Anwir has been most gracious to us, and we are forever in debt to him. There is no sense in leaving, not when he will be left here feeling betrayed."

"I know that you have a mark on you, Wynter. I spotted it, and I know it is from him. I am not blind, I am not stupid; I am your sister, and I know you are not okay."

"You don't understand!" Wynter hissed, hands going to her stomach protectively. "I am carrying his child, and if I leave he will waste no time hunting myself and the baby down!"

I stare at her in shock. "His child? Then you have even more reason to leave that villain behind! Invidia Hall is no place for a child to be raised, and if you have a girl, you know he will neglect her - Lord Anwir is a piece of shit!" I say in a harsh whisper. Wynter appeared terrified, a part of me feeling guilty for scaring her. She knew that Lord Anwir was not a kind man, and that if she bore a girl he would punish both her and the child. I was worried. 

"Look, Carmyn, you should leave. You don't belong here; you belong in a place where you can be free. If you wish to run, please do run, but please also accept that I will have to tell him."

Panic flashed through me, nauseating me with its worry. 

"No, if you tell him anything he will hurt you! If I leave without you he will hurt you again! Don't you understand?" I fretted, worry clouding my senses. Although me and Wynter have our differences, she is the only one I love - I don't know how I could live, leaving her alone in danger. I sighed, suddenly feeling ten times my age. I yearned for the old days where, even though I lived in my sister's shadow, I still felt alive. Nowadays I feel like a ghost of my former self. The only thing keeping me going was the idea of an escape, a world outside Invidia Hall. Now I have nothing to inspire me. Nothing to keep me going, nothing to remind me that I am not alone in this world.

"Carmyn, I have to go very soon - I don't know what's going to happen next. I don't know what I'm going to do." Wynter started sobbing. I folded my sister in my arms, pressing her head to my chest. Tears of my own slipped down my bruised cheeks.

"Oh, My Lord's probably looking for me." Wynter whimpered at last, rising from my hold. I nodded, voiceless. I turned to go, pausing at the door to the servants' kitchen to look back at my sister.

"I love you, Wynter. Never forget that."

I continued on with the dishes, my eyes still streaming with tears. Ione, thankfully, didn't mention it. Morning turned to midday, midday turned to afternoon, and afternoon turned to evening. Still I stayed at my post, washing every dish so thoroughly even Ione became concerned. She finally left me alone after a sharp exchange of words. As dinner passed more dishes piled up beside the sink I stood at. I barely noticed, lost in my thoughts to do anything but work. I thought carefully over my next move in this game of chess I had stumbled into too. Chess is a bad way to put it, I noticed. In chess there are only two teams - black and white. In real life it is just shades of grey.

It was around midnight when I was called upstairs. I was confused, but Ione told me to hold myself tall and face whatever was going to happen. As I shuffled up the polished stone stairs, the sounds of yelling and screaming came closer and closer. I resisted the urge to sob when I heard Wynter begging for safety, followed by Lord Anwir's demands. He shouted at her slurs and insults, and it was all I could do to not go in there and murder him. I knocked on the door and Lord Anwir paused. The door opened and I averted my gaze away from the face of the man who I hated so much.

"Look up." He shrieked into my face. I lifted my eyes to meet his, the penny brown colour of his gaze piercing through my mask of neutrality. Lord Anwir is vaguely handsome, but with an aura of cruelty that even a human would find hard to ignore. His hair is slicked back and the colour of fire, his complexion pale and his features cold.

"You want to leave, don't you? Well I would just love it if you left, Carmyn Laurier. I exile you. And know this, sweetie. You won't be welcomed back." Lord Anwir sneered into my face. I stepped back as Wynter gasped and started weeping. The already tense situation grew a thousand times more tense as I stared at the lord of Invidia Estate, the man who had so 'graciously' taken myself and my sister under his wing as his charges. My disbelief intensifies as I finally draw up the speech to respond.

"Pardon? But you can't kick me out - you can't!" I yelled. At first I wanted to run away with Wynter, but I don't want to leave her alone at Invidia Hall with Lord Anwir. Lord Anwir smirked at my confusion.

"You are 16, are you not? You are an adult. And adults can't still be living with their guardian, can they?" He soothed in a lover's tone. His eyes portrayed nothing but pure cruelty as he looked at me with a hungry expression. "Now I suggest you leave, little one, and soon. You never know how long my good graces shall last." He smirked. I sobbed and turned on my heel, bursting through the door. Servants rushed out of my way as I sprinted out of the keep and into the freezing snow outside. I drew my battered shawl closer around me and kept on running, thinking not about the night ahead or where I was to go now. I only thought about getting as far away from that gods forsaken place as possible.