Gateway Drug | Volume I

Gateway Drug | Part Ninety-Five

"I can't do this." I say. "I don't even need to be here, Izzy, I'm the ex-girlfriend he got pregnant, like, two days before he got back with the girl he's marrying, now."

"You sound like one of those goddamn headlines they're printing left and right." He accuses me, leaning against the counter.

"Her family is here, there's a lot of people — I don't think I can do this."

"I thought you'd be over what people say about you by now." He blows more smoke.

"These people are going to potentially be around my kid someday, Izzy, I want them to like me." I explain.

"Who gives a shit, you've already got people that like you. I like you." He motions to himself. "So who the fuck else matters but us?"

"I don't think I can do this." I say for the umpteenth time.

"Hey," He steps to me in his rented tux and places his hands on my shoulders. "Duff's stressing out right now, Tansy and Axl are missing, and Nikki's probably gonna think you snuck out the window and ran far, far, away from here, alright? I get that there's a lot happening in the press, I get that you and Mandy are still butting heads over the argument you got into weeks ago, but you've had your time to wallow over it, and now it's time to dry it up and show up for Duff." He asks me and I look at him for a couple seconds. "You're a Sixx. You guys don't pussy-out and hide from your problems, so why're you doing it, now?"

"Because I'm a Sixx and that's what we do." My voice shakes, thick with tears.

He stares at me for a moment before exasperatingly letting out a breath.

"Oh, geez, Vivian." He's rubbing his forehead, realizing a pep talk might not work right now, before he gets eye level with me, crouching down. "Do you love him?" He asks me, next, and I wipe the back of my hand under my chin, catching tears.

"Yeah." I nod, sniffling.

"You're not here for anyone else but him. To be happy with him, and have a good time because he's getting married, and you're about to let a bunch of randoms piss on the parade." He keeps on. "You love Duff, so what does it matter if you're carrying his fucking kid or not? Why the hell should you feel embarrassed about that, or give a damn what someone who doesn't even know you says about it?"

He makes a very good point.

"...You're doing this for Duff." It's repeated like it's an affirmation. "And Vivian Sixx doesn't pussy-out." He adds sternly.

This is what it takes to get me to quickly wipe tear stains from my face with the back of my hand and take a final deep breath, coughing on the smoke that's fogged up the room.

"You ready?" He asks me when I stand up, his hand patting at my back to try to clear up my cough.

"Yeah." I wheeze out as he snatches the door open, white swirls dispersing into the hallway of Duff's mother's home.

"It's go time, boys!" Izzy shouts as I head toward the stairs.

Their families are gathering in the back yard where the ceremony is supposed to take place.

Mandy's keeping to the guest room upstairs with her friends while Duff is downstairs in the other bathroom, and just as I'm heading down the stairs, the front door is bursting open to reveal Tansy in a bright pink sequin dress, hand in hand with Axl.

"Sorry, we're late!" She says, her blonde hair curled, falling down her back.

Long gone is the skeleton-like figure she once carried in a pale stumble with a dopey smile on her face.