My 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 (YEONGYU/BEOMJUN)

6

"i am." beomgyu mumbles. "i am talking to you."

"no you're not." yeonjun grunts as he sits next to beomgyu in annoyance. fake annoyance, because he doesn't know any other way he can communicate with a frustrating beomgyu.

when yeonjun gets really mad about beomgyu not opening his mouth, he holds his hand harshly. "beomgyu, look at me." he says strictly, making beomgyu flutter his eyes to yeonjun's, making an intense and equally awkward eye contact.

"you've been ignoring me." yeonjun doesn't ask, he informs . "what's the matter with you?"

"no." beomgyu bites his lip. "i'm not ignoring you."

yeonjun chuckles loud and clear, a bitter feeling lingering in the air.

"bullshit, beomgyu." he breathed. "we both know that's bullshit."

beomgyu bites his lips and instantly looks away. the tension in the room is higher than ever. never once has beomgyu ever felt this way around yeonjun. and so now when yeonjun holds his hand, and expects beomgyu to answer, when he already knows that something's up, he cannot bring himself to speak at all.

"i.." beomgyu has no words to say, when yeonjun looks at him like that. yeonjun has the most sad look on his face ever, and it looks like he's trying to understand beomgyu's feelings, and trying to bring out words from beomgyu's mouth without him having said anything.

"beomgyu." yeonjun calls out, and beomgyu has no other choice but to look up at him. yeonjun looks away after a few seconds, and rubs beomgyu's hand slowly. by now, the younger knows that he isn't in trouble. but the close proximity with yeonjun after so long, sends memories rushing back from a month ago, when they were attached to the hip. he wonders what it would feel like to be that close to yeonjun again.

"did hyung do something wrong?" yeonjun whispers slowly, as if speaking in a loud voice would break beomgyu. and he shudders. every time yeonjun refers to himself as hyung, it reminds beomgyu how much he thinks that he owes the others because he's the older one. silly, stupid yeonjun hyung. beomgyu is a hundred percent sure that yeonjun blamed himself for beomgyu not being as close with him as before. "tell me, beomgyu-ah." yeonjun sounds sad, broken, and beomgyu thinks - i've done this. i've made him like this. "i'll fix it, beomgyu. but god-" yeonjun groans, and beomgyu's sure he's going to cry some time soon. he thinks, he knows he wouldn't be able to handle yeonjun crying. "-please don't ignore me, beoms." yeonjun spits all his frustration in the form of words, and now beomgyu looks up at him as if he were confused.

when beomgyu doesn't take it upon him to give some sort of a response to yeonjun's words, the elder continues speaking. "i missed you like this." yeonjun mumbles slowly, and it's only meant for beomgyu to hear. he doesn't want anyone else to be a part of whatever is going on here. he only wants beomgyu. when beomgyu still doesn't say anything, but nuzzles closer to yeonjun, he knows that he has to take the lead. yeonjun holds him close, closer than he should perhaps, but he doesn't seem to care at all. beomgyu's here now, and that's all that matters.

yeonjun doesn't push beomgyu at all, instead allows him to stick closer to him. while beomgyu was the loudest member when it came to literally anything, in serious cases, yeonjun knows that beomgyu wouldn't open his mouth at all. he knows to give beomgyu a little time and he'd come around soon though.

it turned out that little time was exactly that, because soon enough yeonjun found beomgyu mumbling into his t-shirt. he couldn't hear anything one bit, so he pulls away from beomgyu (only slightly though, because after all this, yeonjun isn't going to let beomgyu out of his sight) and stares at his face. "what was that?" yeonjun asks slowly, and beomgyu attempts to look away.

beomgyu has the prettiest blush spread across his face, and yeonjun assumes that it's from cutting off all of his oxygen by burring his nose into yeonjun's clothes, and perhaps the embarrassment of being called into yeonjun's room at such a late hour. yeonjun too, is subtly aware of his face mirroring a similar reaction, but clearly for different reasons. he hopes that beomgyu isn't able to tell and that it isn't that obvious.

"i said." beomgyu says ever so slowly. "i missed you too." and the moment he says that, yeonjun feels at ease. and so, he pulls beomgyu closer to him than before. now, beomgyu rests his head on yeonjun's shoulder more comfortably than before. a funny sensation tingles through yeonjun's veins. he has really missed beomgyu so much, and hadn't felt it as much as he was feeling it right now. beomgyu snuggles closer to yeonjun and whispers a small, "yeonjunnie hyung." while clutching on his t-shirt.

yeonjun's brain almost short circuits at those two terms. beomgyu calls him yeonjunnie hyung in the cutest way every possible, and yeonjun wants to chomp his cheeks. even before, when yeonjun had an extreme cute aggression looking at beomgyu, he took resort to pinching his cheeks. he doesn't think that it's appropriate now, so he gulps down the feeling and he just subtly pats beomgyu's head.

"god, beomgyu." yeonjun ends up muttering instead. "don't ever do that to me." yeonjun says, as he engulfs his face in beomgyu's hair, which has the fading scent of his shampoo. yeonjun misses it all. they're both just remembering and recalling other's features at this point, and none of them are in their right minds anyway. "i won't, i promise i won't, hyung." beomgyu gives him a reply, rambling.

once they're done reclaiming their memories, they sit with their backs resting at the headboard of yeonjun's bed, they just sit silent. neither of them have the guts to say anything after being all over each other just a few minutes ago. yeonjun feels embarrassed, and he knows that beomgyu must be twice as embarrassed. he mans up and decided to break the awkward silence. "did i-" yeonjun clears his throat. "did i do anything wrong? like..."

yeonjun begs for beomgyu to not act clueless and not make him say it, but obviously beomgyu doesn't answer. not because he isn't aware of what yeonjun is asking him, it's because he cannot bring himself to answer yeonjun so he remains silent.

"it's okay if you don't want to talk about it." yeonjun sends him his happiest smile, and to an extent, yeonjun is happy. he isn't faking the joy of being close to beomgyu again, but he also acknowledges that they've drifted apart. and if beomgyu isn't going to share somethings with him, yeonjun shouldn't be surprised.

beomgyu hums at that, and chooses to take up that offer, of not speaking up. even though yeonjun knows to let a process unfold in sections, he can't help but want beomgyu all to himself as quickly as possible, like they were before.

"we..we're okay right?" yeonjun asks to clarify, because after this, he isn't sure that he can go back to ignoring beomgyu again. it's absolute torture, and if he has to admit that in front of beomgyu, he's going to do it.

"yeah." beomgyu breathes, hesitating to answer. "yeah." he repeats.

they're okay.