I never wanted to finished this book, because lot happened in my relationship that made questioned every thing I believed in love and loyalty, but you know what I said what the worst possible thing can could happening hahaha am I right but really guys the first few months of Mt relationship was heaven on earth then tested and challenge came in ,my man started acting werid ,there was my woman issues with my ego and pride and there was my loyalty for my man ,guys I have to be honest it was really hard to dealt with all these problem by my self .
I cried my self to sleep for many weeks ,after weeks I cried then I figured why am I crying I have brains , talents and skills to live without anybody so I toke a break from my relationship and what I did ladies was I tried to find my self first who am I ,who do I want to be in few years to come ,who do I want as friends ,who do I want as close friends,who do I want to give me advice, who envy me ,who were just in love with me just for me body ,who was trying to be friends with me just ruin me ,lot I can go on and on and on but in all that madness and judging and hate, and confusion I told my self one thing I will always be Lila and no body can change that about me not even my mum.so there was I thinking how to raise this Lila I killed few years back to where am I now ,stood days and weeks pass in to months,my head still hurts from so much thinking ,then I found a good ideal ,that ideal was shut off my emotions and see what will possibly go wrong ,firstly my man noticed I was different,secondly my parent noticed,then my sister's and my brother like jesss can a girl be free hahaha when ever my man is trying to break in my head I try so hard to hide my emotions to see if he will stop loving me if I was not the sweet and loveable Lila anymore , secondly that goes to My parent and my siblings but guys should I tell you one funny path through out those times my head hurts so much I could not get lot done both at work and in my relationship so I run away from the whole problem to go get treated ,that is to figured out why my head hurts so much ,why was I so confused,why was I so cold ,then I toke my problem bit by bit I started by telling my self the truth , secondly I said to my man ,but still did not go back because I wanted to still take time to figured out why I killed Lila right so I toke time to live by my self removed all my social media accounts,blocked any man from taking to me or asking me out ,down to even giving me compliment, I did this for 5 months straight,then still the old Lila was not awaked yet ,so I had another brilliant ideal I said to my self why do I not sock her back to life ,but how this though came to but it got done weeks after hahaha I know right I am very triebble at getting this done for my self hahaha then it was one faith morning I realized on the raise why Lila was born was because she love the right kind of music,then I remember one story my mother told Lila every night before she goes to bed and guys I wish I could write the whole story for guys here but I can but I will pick the best path for you guys ,and the path is
"Be strong for you and not for any body else because the whole do not give a shit about you believe it or take it "
And that was how Lila came back to life more stronger , braver, smarter and calmer too the feeling was beautiful, amazing but the sad path of it was that my siblings was mad at me.
Now ladies and gentlemen we all when your siblings is mad at you ,it takes lot to get each sibling to be happy ,but this time I will continue this story tomorrow later guys . I am back Lila in the house again, guys I am sorry I was feeling bit sleepy yesterday to finish the chapter but I am here again ,now I am lover girl and let me just tell you guys something you do in relationships that you think it is cool but mean while it is cool.
1. This is for the men you guys think it is cool to not trust you woman when she tell you boo bear or any pet name she gave you ,I did not ,do it please believe me well it is not cool because I am woman and I am sure I speak from experience from many ladies out there I will be honest with you guys for a woman to come clean to you and confess telling you I never did anything to betray your trust please believe her two things why I said this no woman likes to be at a man mercy and the second is no woman like consider as cheap but to my fellow men out there I will use my self as example when I tell my man I never cheated you and he does not believe me I will let time and God show him I never did it because I do not believe when my man is upset with me dating another man will solve it or going out with other men will solve ,I use this time to build myself more and work on my bad attitude that he might not tell me is making upset and I will work my butt off I believe getting more money in my account for my futures is respect and this has nothing to do with any man believe me or not ,so if you find a lady like me out there hold her tight and always be honest with her because a woman with brains and skills to make money is a good woman my mummy always tell me that what of this world never had men to pay off your bills will not know how to work to pay them off ,sadly yes you will work .
2 . This is going to the ladies out there when your man says sweetness or any other pets names you guys gave yourself ,I do not like it when you do not listen to me and you are rude to my friends and family,work in the behavior ladies first of all do you know it is slap on your mother face when a man says this you ,I am sure I our mother trained us well ladies I know sometimes our men can be bit unbearable but let me tell you guys the truth my man drives me crazy sometimes,now let me tell you guys what I do to easy this smoothly I wil start by saying sorry and now I will actually sit by my self to check my self where I am doing the talking wrong and take correction in my head and when I want to speak I will rethink in my head before I speak it hard ladies really but it is best way to settle conflict like this .
3. Respect and love, understanding, kindness,and tolerance these all goes together to build a happy home ,do things for your partner because it cames from your heart to do for them not because what you want you want to gain from them this is how you know real love,I was on space on Twitter one faith day and a lady said why do men complaining and even go as far calling women out there gold digger she said it is because these women made them self that way ,I will use my self as example what I do for a man I do it because the almighty God gave me the power to do for that man ,be it money ,item ,clothes , jewelry etc.i do things for my man because I want to do for my man to look his best because he is my pride and joy and the same to go for the woman as well what ever you think you are doing for a man unless he is not appreciate you then you walk out but do not let money be the reason why your marriage or relationship broke in the pieces .even I made mistakes at times but as soon my partner tell me what you did I do not like it , immediately I put it to work and I have learnt to work on my self for me not for any man because I do not want to have problem with other man and woman out there about the way I act ,and one more before I go to bed do not feel too big to sit down and tell your the truth and do not feel too big to say you are sorry when you are wrong and really work on what you apologize for it helps .
