Yarg Darg was a man whose life had passed him by. He was a pirate out of necessity and a failure out of skill level. He failed 7 consecutive raids and owed money to 7 different British blokes who wanted to rip his toenails off. To make matters worse, his crew of 70 was now enraged with his blundering. One could even hear Yarg Darg exclaim, "My crew think I got scurvy even though I ate an orange yesterday!".
This man was incredibly out of place. He was as soft as an ice cream cone in a place where most men were tough as nails. The aforementioned circumstances led him to go into hiding as he really wanted his toenails attached to his toes. To make matters worse, he broke his leg during the raid when he forgot he was jumping from the crows nest and not the figurehead (where he usually jumps from). This led to the merchant ship thinking he was kidnapped by pirates and rescuing him from his now irate crew.
Yarg Darg was facing a battle of survival: a mental battle of survival. The fight was to find the will to live after taking this massive, ginormous, huge, gigantic, incredible, fat loss. Calling him angry would be an understatement, he was furious at himself. How could he get this bad? He was supposed to be a bloodthirsty pirate, not a frail prisoner soyboy. He was such a soyboy pirate that the author will picture him below along with other "bloodthirsty brigands".
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Despite the fact that his crew wanted to disembowel him and hang him from the prow, Yarg Darg didn't hate them. After all, why would a self-respecting pirate want to be led by a klutz. They would want to be led by a fearless captain whose exploits would shake the 4 naval empires for centuries.
Yarg Darg decided to retire to the pirate town of Shantytown on the Caribbean islands. He stayed quiet for the next 3 months as he really liked being in one piece and not being hanged from the foremast. Unfortunately, he got held at musketpoint and robbed. Yarg Darg really took this loss and was quite honestly content to die within the next couple of days. But, fate had other plans for him. The British naval fleet eventually raided Shantytown and thought Yarg Darg was kidnapped by the residents. One resident tried arguing he was one of the pirates out of spite but this led to the Corporal of the fleet replying, "Who? This man? He couldn't take candy from a baby. How could he dare raid a whole ship?".
After this, the corporal decided to take Yarg Darg back to England for his bravery in trying to take Shantytown for the crown (although that was not his intention) and have him knighted and given 200 acres of land with 7,000 peasants .
On the way back, the ship got raided by a massive fleet of pirate ships but was largely unsuccessful. Fate would have it that Yarg Darg's former crew would also be one of the raiding parties. His crew was locked up on the brig and Yarg Darg was faced with a tough decision: Would he let his crew get hung in some sort of mass execution? Or would he save his crew but forsake his newly found riches? One may think 200 acres of land with 7000 peasants was instant grounds for selling your comrades out, but back in the day, people of power would trade people and vast amounts of land like trading cards.
Yarg Darg chose to be the loyal captain and sacrifice all of that for his crew. Because of that, his crew was ready to ride or die with him and they were willing to train him on how to be a good captain. They trained him with modern day anime training montage style-esque routines and even started singing the most melodious sea shanties (Leave her Johnny, Bones in the Ocean, The Wellerman etc.) for motivational purposes. He also became a sworn enemy of the corporal who got swindled out of 70 arrests.
After 2 hard years, Yarg Darg became an epic captain; he was so legendary with his chiseled pirate features. He even wore an eyepatch even though he still had both of his eyes. His gaze was like 7000 blackbeards combined. He became the fearless captain. He was so cool and awesome that the writer added him below to help you visualize his awesomeness. The writer even added multiple pictures because that's how awesome Yarg Darg became.
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Ironically, the story of Yarg Darg ended where it began: on a raid. This time however, he wasn't horrendous at raiding ships due to his character development and a fiercely loyal crew. The merchant captain wasn't even angry that he was getting raided because he got to witness the splendor of Yarg Darg. The insurance company asked the captain why he was so nonchalant about him losing all of his cargo and the merchant captain simply replied, "It is what it is."
Yarg Darg also completed his redemption arc and realized maybe the real value was not the riches he gained, but the loyal crew he saved. This was pretty similar to a certain other cliche. One based on friends people made along the way with The King of Pirates. Although, being richer than his new antagonist (the naval corporal) certainly helped.
The reader of this story may feel as if they were cheated. They might feel scammed perhaps. Or bamboozled if you feel so inclined. But the author would say, "Shut up. This is my story and I will decide the plot. If you don't like it, write your own."
