The Spirit of the Corps » Band of Brothers

50: What Kind of An Idea

Floyd released a breath. "Sure, Freckles."

"Can you ask her to tell the others, too?" She shook her head and kept her eyes on the damp grass beneath her boots, wrapped her arms around herself. "I don't want to have to say it." Her voice cracked but she swallowed her tears, breathed heavily through her nose to push through it. She was working. She wouldn't cry now. She wouldn't let herself cry again until she'd been dismissed for the day and was sitting alone in a tent or a foxhole or a backroom of a bombed out building, wherever the war took her next.

Floyd nodded. "Of course."

Charlie mumbled her thanks and didn't lift her head again. After a moment, Floyd turned to approach Autumn. Charlie continued with her work.

By the time the trucks arrived to transport the wounded to the evac hospital, Floyd was back with his men and Charlie was silent, helping to load men up and ensuring they were comfortable and had everything they needed with them. Mabs and Boo were working now, too, though no one spoke. Mabs had squeezed Charlie's shoulder gently when she'd first walked past her, but that was the only acknowledgement anyone gave that they knew.

Charlie was sure Floyd had told Autumn something of how fragile she was. Probably, he had advised her to tell them all not to bring it up. For that, she was grateful.

Eventually, the trucks drove away and a new set of tanks and troop transports arrived to transport the company to its next destination. Charlie remained silent as she helped to pack up the field hospital and load it up into their truck at the back of the line.

She was aware of the looks and whispers from the men she passed each time she carried a crate of supplies to the truck. They stood around in groups as they waited for the order to load up themselves, and they'd all been smiling before they'd seen her. Mabs had mumbled an explanation about Bull and Duckie coming back or something to that effect, but Charlie had barely been listening. All she knew now was that their smiles were gone as they looked at her and tried to be discreet as they mumbled the words 'Miller' and 'boyfriend' to each other when she walked past them. She knew, but she didn't care.

"Here," Skip said, appearing out of nowhere and taking the crate she was carrying off of her. "I'll take this, you go get the next one."

When she got the next one, Malarkey came to take that from her, too.

Wordlessly, Alex and Alton followed her into the field hospital and each picked up two of the remaining crates, then deposited them on the truck. Afterwards, Charlie tried to thank them and they all brushed her aside.

"You just let us know what we can do, alright, Charlie?" Skip said, patting her on the shoulder.

"Yeah, we got tons of free time recently," Alex added, which made her crack a smile.

"There's that gorgeous smile," Alton said, nudging her gently with his elbow.

Malarkey playfully groaned. "Damn it, Lancaster, now I owe Penky ten bucks!"

Charlie smiled slightly, knowing he was only joking, and shook her head. "Sorry, Malark," she said quietly. She smiled again when he threw an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side.

"Nah, that's alright. Just don't do it again, huh?"

"Shut up, Mal," Alex said and gave him a light shove.

First Sergeant Lipton interrupted the imminent bickering by calling for the men to begin loading onto the tanks and trucks, and a collective sigh went up through the group.

"Chin up, boys," Alton drawled, lighting up a cigarette. "One of these days we'll find ourselves in Germany."

"Oh yeah?" Malarkey asked sarcastically. "When? They told us Market Garden would end the war by Christmas but it ain't looking so hot right now."

Alton rolled his eyes. "Just you watch," he said around his cigarette. "Any day now Winters'll tell us we're jumping into Berlin."

"Will he also tell us that I'm the long lost prince of England?" Skip asked in a deadpan. "Or do I have to wait a little longer for that?"

Charlie bid the four of them goodbye in the midst of their bantering and climbed onto the truck at the back of the line with a heart just slightly lighter. When she sat down beside Mabs, Mabs linked their arms together, and Charlie even managed to give her a tiny smile.

The trucks didn't travel for very long. Charlie spent the journey in silence. Autumn and Boo quietly discussed what had happened to Bull and Duckie last night when the former had been declared missing in action and the latter killed - according to George, they'd been cornered and hadn't been able to retreat with everyone else - while Mabs watched the countryside pass behind them. Henry spoke just once to update them on what the protocol was while they still had no surgeons. Charlie kept her eyes down, staring at the cover of the book in her hands.

Crime and Punishment had been James' favourite book. She'd been reading it at his request, and she'd almost reached the end. Now, she didn't know whether she'd ever finish it. Finishing it would be like losing the final part of him she had left.

So she simply stared down at it, thoughts racing with memories of his face and his voice and his smile, wondering if it would get easier to remember him as the days passed, or harder as she fought not to forget.