Baby Steps [Satoru Gojo]

↳ 𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝘿𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨

For the rest of the day, you think about your options and what to do. And cry. You've always thought of yourself as a responsible person, but this proves otherwise. You feel like the most irresponsible person at the moment.

Kaya drove you to your apartment, and now she's in the kitchen preparing something for you to eat. She's giving you time to think things through, at least that's what she says to cover up her disbelief. She didn't think that you of all people would be put in this tough situation. Anyone but you. But it's you.

You sit on the edge of your bed and just listen to the noises coming from the outside of your room. It's dark in your room, not a single light on and no light coming from the window. You don't want to turn on a light, or at least that's not your focus at the moment.

There's a knock on the door, and you sigh. It's a sigh that you've been holding back, that just happened to come out now. "Come in."

Kaya opens the door and she holds a bowl of soup. She notices how dark it is and turns on the light, which feels like it burns your eyes. She walks over and puts the bowl down on your nightstand, not wanting to force you to eat the food at the moment. You'll eat when you're hungry and ready to eat.

You feel the bed dip, and you don't even have to look at her for your bottom lip to start quivering. Maybe that's why you liked sitting in the darkness so much because now that you're looking down at your hands you realize how real this situation is. She hears your sniffles, and she isn't sure what to do next. Should she get up and leave?

"I can't raise a baby in a one bedroom apartment working as a waitress." You finally speak, and she hears how your voice breaks with your every word, the pitch getting higher and higher. Kaya doesn't say or do anything. She lets you continue speaking. You take a deep breath. "I want a baby, I've always wanted to be a mom but it isn't the right time."

It's just unbelievable that this is happening to you. All you want to do is cry, but that really doesn't solve anything. "I want to keep this baby but what kind of support do I have? I can barely afford to live here and go to college. I won't have enough money for childcare and my parents live too far away to support me. I can't put the financial burden of a baby on them either."

It's something that you've been thinking over all day long. Something that you will also think all night long. And tomorrow you will probably change your mind and lie to yourself that you can do it alone. That you can handle the financial burden of a child. But you know you can't. In the end it's too much work for you.

"Child care isn't even all. I can't afford all the necessities for a baby. A crib, a highchair, clothes, diapers, formula. The list goes on." You tell her. She stays quiet.

The room is quiet for a couple of minutes or so before she takes a deep breath. It's not something that should be considered absurd, but to you it is. "What if you tell him?"

"He's not going to want this baby." You respond.

"But you don't know. What if he does?" She says.

"He was so certain when he told me it was all a mistake. Why would he support me with this if he thinks his night with me was a mistake?" You reply. "He'll just tell me to get an abortion and I don't want to hear that from anyone. I want to do it without hearing it from anyone because I might just keep the baby out of spite."

"If that's what you want to do, then fine." Kaya sighs. She doesn't push the subject anymore. You're grown enough to make your own decisions.

-

It's near midnight on a weekday, so Daisuke doesn't expect any visitors. He should be sleeping, and usually at this time he's knocked out but tonight he's tossing and turning because of how worried he is. Usually Kaya, the woman he likes, texts him a goodnight text and it's so trivial but tonight she hasn't and he's worried about her.