To Be Honest

three

Okay. Focus, Ellie. It couldn't be that difficult, right?

It's been about two weeks since I got that silly task from Mr Winters and every idea I had was boring or unexciting. I couldn't concentrate at all, after everything that has happened. I tried to ignore the thing with Beth and Scott but it was hard since I saw them every day. I tried to keep my distance and hoped they wouldn't notice.

I was drifting away again so I quickly shook my head to stop thinking about them.

Coming back to my task: I mean, it was just a theme for a school festival that I had to think of. It was not the most difficult task, that's for sure. But the ones from the last years were, let's say, not really of my taste.

Last year, Felicia Cruz organised the theme and the girls had to wear skirts or dresses and every boy had to wear jeans and monochrome shirts, saying the theme was "battle of the sexes"  and the clothes would "underline our gender". I hated the idea because the games we had to play against the boys, to prove that we were the better gender, were simply unnecessary and annoying (for example weird dance battles that I didn't participate in because I, unfortunately, broke my foot right before my performance), but what I hated even more was the fact that I had to wear a skirt. A silly pink skirt that Felicia forced me to wear for the whole day.

 I repeat, for the whole shitty day, I had to wear this dumb pink skirt that made me want to bury myself alive because it was so short and so embarrassing. I didn't quite understand in which way it would underline my gender, but we are talking about Felicia, so I guess her sole aim was to wear some short clothes to show off her long legs.

Thinking back though, Scott and I were already dating back then and I remembered how he kept on giving me his jacket to cover my legs. It was really cute. He was really cute.

God, who am I kidding? He was still really cute but that's the deal. When I thought of him, only good memories came up. He's never done me wrong and neither did Beth. I was always happy when I was around them and I don't remember us ever fighting (except for the one time we couldn't decide between nachos or popcorn in the cinema).

My heart ached a little thinking of them. Was it all just an illusion? Was I the only one that felt this way?

Suddenly, our door bell rang and I heard my mother opening the door and greeting someone. I was surprised because it was already late and dark outside. Who would come visiting us at 10 o'clock on a Saturday?

"Hello, Beth! How are you, darling?," my mom said happily and my body froze in less than a second.

"Hi Mrs Hepburn. I'm good, thank you. Is Ellie at home?," she asked and hearing her soft voice teared me apart. I ran around like a lost animal in my own room and wanted to hide in my wardrobe. But that was too late because my mother would already tell her I was up in my room and I could hear her footsteps coming nearer and nearer.

Finally, I decided to calm down and to sit on my bed like I usually did and tried to crack a smile when she slowly opened the door.

"Hey, Ellie!" she said happily and ran to me to hug me onto my bed.

"Hey Beth," I answered calmly and petted her head lightly. She was so small, cuddling me on my bed, so fragile and so cute that all I could think of was: No wonder Scott fell for her.

My body stiffened a little and my head hurt. I didn't say a word but so did she. She didn't move. And I didn't make a sound.

Suddenly, she hugged me tighter and  whispered something.

"Is something wrong with you?" she asked while her face was still buried in my neck.

"W-why?" I asked a bit insecure because I wasn't strong enough for a fight with her right now. I didn't want to deal with that incident anymore.