Misadventures in Paradise ↠ Peter Parker [2]

01 | Valor vs. Spider-Man

   "That's not true!" Riley argued. "Spider-Man's a hero!"

   "Why are you even here with him? Did you know he killed Mysterio?"

   "It's those spider powers," another sneered. "He must've somehow brainwashed Valor and Roman! What if he brainwashed the Starks!?"

   "What!? No! No, that's not— That's not true!" Riley yelped. "I can explain everything! I just— I can't breathe—!"

   "Don't touch her!" Peter yelled. He tried to squeeze through the crowd, but the people formed a protective wall around her. "Riley!"

   "Peter!" she called with an outstretched arm.

   "BACK OFF!" Roman shouted. His voice was enough to split the crowd as he pulled the much shorter girl to freedom. "Are you okay?"

   "Peter," Riley stammered. "Peter, we... Peter—"

   "Go," Peter said. "We have to go NOW."

   Roman grabbed each Avenger by their shoulder and teleported them out of the streets. Teleporting through the stars wasn't a feeling one could be accustomed to. It was like feeling your soul exit your body, much like the feeling of falling, only for it to return as your feet landed in an entirely different space.

   Riley was pretty sure her soul wouldn't be returning anytime soon as they materialized inside Peter's messy bedroom.

   "What the fucking shit is happening!?" Roman blurted, tugging his hair. "That fucking prick!"

   "Oh, God." Peter clumsily peeled off his suit until he was in nothing but a pair of boxers. "Oh, God. What do I do!? I don't know what to do!"

   "He twisted the whole story!" Roman flung himself onto the twin bed. "I don't get it! We played his game! We played the part perfectly! The world saw the drones! They saw the Elementals disappear! How is this happening!?"

   "Peter— Oh, fuck. I'm so sorry. I can figure this out," Riley grabbed Peter, "I-I can fix this, we just need to—"

   "I don't— How do you—?"

   "Um... We just—!"

   The bedroom door swung open, where a very bewildered Happy Hogan stood beside a puzzled May Parker.

   "Oh, I—" Happy pivoted, sheathing his eyes before the image of Riley holding her practically nude boyfriend while Roman laid in bed was burned into his brain. "We didn't see anything!"

   "This isn't what it looks like, Happy!" Peter cried as Riley yelled, "Happy, wait, no—!"

   "It's okay!" Happy dismissed. "I've seen your dad in worse positions—"

   "Gross!" Roman exclaimed. "I don't wanna picture Tony—"

   "Really, it's okay! We don't have to talk about this... group bonding exercise if you don't want to. Just practice safe sex—" May was about to shut the door when she realized who her guests were. She floated toward Riley. "Oh, Riley, honey, it's so good seeing you around here again! Sorry to steal you, I have so much to catch you up on!"

   Roman hopped out of bed. "Do you want a hug from me, too, Ms. Parker?"

   "Of course!" she beamed.

   "Roman!" Peter hissed, scrambling to find a shirt when he finally noticed how Happy was cowering outside his door. "Wait, have you been crying?"