How can I get myself together when the love of my life, well at least I thought he was, doesn't even talk to me.
It's been 10 days now since we last talked. Is this officially over?
I've tried calling him over a million times, i've tried texting him over a million times. But nothing, all I got were some dry rude responses to some of my texts.
He clearly doesn't give a shit about me. I truly feel like i'll never be loved the way I love others.
These past few days have been so shit. I didn't tell anyone about this situation 'cause I didn't want to make it a big deal but it is.
I haven't showered in a week and I didn't get out of bed once Whenever I'm hungry I just order takeout.
I feel SO disgusting.
I can't live like this anymore but I'm just tired honestly, not the type of tired where u can just sleep but i'm just tired of life. I don't know what I did wrong and i'm trying to fix it.
Am I the problem?
I forced myself to get up, I felt like shit and definitely looked like it. I jumped into the shower and had the longest shower of my life.
I felt so fresh when I got out of the shower but still felt like shit. I put on some makeup and put my hair in a claw clip.
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This is the set I decided to wear.
All i've been wearing lately is comfortable clothing and i'm loving it.
I ran downstairs and sat in the living room. No one was there so I just scrolled through my phone.
No texts from Amare.
I sighed. Where did things go wrong? Last time we had a proper conversation was when he brought up this name Ella.
I never heard of a girl named Ella, I never knew why he even asked me that.
I heard the front door open. I saw Jordan walk in then Kayvon, Zion, Kairo and then Amare. My heart stopped when I saw him. This was the first time in 2 weeks that I saw him.
I missed him so much. His smile faded when he saw me. My heart feels so heavy man I can't even explain this feeling.
"You finally sorted yourself out" Kairo said.
"Yea" I let out.
"I haven't seen u in days fam where u been?" Jordan asked.
No one clearly knows what happened.
"In my room" I said.
I looked at Amare, and he looked at me which made me look away quickly.
"Amare can I talk to you" I asked him.
"Relationship problems or what?" Jordan laughed. That pissed me of so much but I tried to remain calm.
"Yea" Amare said.
We both walked upstairs to my room and he sat on my bed. Luckily I cleaned it a bit after I showered.
"Um you probably know why I wanted to talk right?" I said.
"Nah I don't still" he said. Is he being serious?
"What's going on between us?" I asked signalling our relationship.
"It's over" he said.
My heart literally stopped beating.
"What did I do?" I asked nearly crying.
"You know what u did" he said not even looking at me.
"No i'm serious what did I do? And whatever I did, why did u never communicate? A relationship is about communicating, it's about working things out! I didn't even know we were over for fucks sake" I yelled.
"You're a fucking cheater" he yelled.
"What?" I said.
"U heard me" He said.
"I never cheated on u what are u on about?" I said.
"I literally saw the messages don't try me Alani" he said.
"What messages" I asked him.
He showed me the messages where i'm apparently talking to a RJ guy. This is clearly photoshopped, I never talked to this guy.
"This is fake" I said.
"Not even admitting it" he chuckled.
"So what u don't believe me, Is that it?" I asked
"How can I?" he asked.
"So u rather believe some photoshopped screenshot then you're own girl?" I asked him.
"I'm going to dip, I can't talk to a girl who's clearly lying." he said while standing up and leaving the room.
As soon as I left I burst out crying. I cried like i've never cried before. My head was pounding but I was too hurt to stop.
I can't feel nothing but anger. Anger towards the person that photoshopped the photo. Anger towards Amare that doesn't even trust me.
Did he actually care for me or did he pretend to care?
I'm so hurt. I cried myself to sleep on the floor.
I wish he stayed like he said he would.
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hey guys!!!
What did u think??
I know this one is very sad and I literally hate Amare even though I created him😭😭😭
