Still Falling | ✓

09 | chance

I think he hates me, Nate. There was so much pain in his eyes, and it haunts me.

He didn't say anything for a while, until, "Your mom called me yesterday. She was very worried about you, and asked me to check on you. Is everything alright?"

"So you didn't bring me pizza out of the goodness of your heart? I'm hurt," I forced out a laugh, but it had always been hard to pretend around Nate. He could see through my façade faster than anyone else.

"Come on, I'm being serious."

I brought my knees up and sighed. "I may have had a nervous breakdown. I called you, but you were busy, so I called her."

"I'm sorry I wasn't available when you needed me."

I pouted at the all too serious expression on his face. "Hey, it's fine! You've always come through for me. I appreciate you a lot."

He didn't say anything, opting to stare past me. If there was one thing I would hate for him to feel, it would be guilt over my wellbeing, when he had been a lot more helpful than I would have asked. There was a white envelope on the table, right underneath my phone. I grabbed the both of them.

"What's this?"

"The results of the gender test. Go through your phone, I left a bunch of messages."

Sure enough, I had quite the number of missed calls and texts since last night. A good number of them were from Nate and a couple from Natalie. I found it thoughtful that she kept tabs on me, especially on her wedding night when she was bound to be occupied by one thing or the other. There was a text from Jamie from an hour ago.

Jamie
9:12 A.M.
hey, what's up? FaceTime later?

I sent a reply.

Me
10:05 A.M.
sure

I got into a comfortable position on the couch and played Nate's voicemail with my phone pressed to my ear.

"Aw, Sienna's so cute and excited. Time for the big reveal," I rubbed my hands together with an exaggerated grin on my face before opening the envelope. Nate stared sourly at me from the top of this laptop.

"You're something else," he said with a shake of his head before directing his gaze back at the screen.

"And you're just jealous I get to see first."

"I'm starting to think Sienna and I made a mistake picking you to do this."

"Too late!"

I got out the result and read through it. My eyebrows shot up. A boy. I let out an excited squeal that intensified the throbbing in my head by a hundred fold.

Nate jumped and stared incredulously at me. "What is wrong with you, woman?"

I beamed at him. Girl or boy didn't matter to me, just the fact that Nate was having a child in a matter of months which had just become a lot more real with the paper in my hands was sending me over the moon.

"I have to start planning the reveal right now," I grabbed my phone and got on Pinterest. "What theme would you like?"

He shrugged. "Whatever Sienna wants."

"I have to give her a call later," I muttered as I absentmindedly scrolled through my phone. The doorbell went off and my heart thudded. Why did I suddenly find it harder to breathe?

"Are you expecting anyone?" Nate asked. I shook my head and got off the couch. With each step I took towards the door, the anticipation in my stomach grew. And in the chaos of my emotions was a flicker of hope. I knew it was pathetic feeling this way, but I held on to it, like a beacon in a storm.