The fosters: battle scars/rediscovering faith

Ch.4

"Hey Skylar are you alright love you seem upset like something is affecting you and bothering you. And we're here for you if you want to talk about it . Keeping it buried inside won't help you letting it out will help you feel better . So please let us in so we could do some good." Stef said with such love concern and empathy. As she empathized with what I must be going through. As I felt like she personally cared for me and wanted to help. As I decided to let them in and be their for me.

"It's just been a hard day for me. I let what other people say to me get to me. When I shouldn't have I usually handle it very well. And could usually ignore it and not let it get to me personally or knock me down. But this time I just broke and let it get to me and hurt me. Because they seem to think they know my whole life story. And they could just gossip about it and share my story. As if they personally went through my experience and the trauma I have endured. Like they were in my shoes and know me on a Personal level." I said letting it out frustrated at everything as I broke down mentally drained.

"Aww love everybody has their days we're they need to break down. It doesn't make you any less strong feeling the pain and going through it is what makes you brave and tough. And that's how you heal and keep going you have to allow yourself to feel and heal from it. It must be hard just burying everything inside and your emotions just exploded that's perfectly okay. It doesn't make you in any way weak it happens when your strong for to long and put on a brave face for so long that you don't heal properly. Because you haven't felt it that it hit you all at once. It takes time but you'll get through it and finally get to a place of happiness and peace. I know it and deep down you got to allow yourself to believe it to. That you deserve good things and happiness." Stef said full of love wisdom and compassion for what I endured in my short life.

"It might help if you tell us what they said to you personally to hurt you. So we could provide comfort and reinsurance to your broken one and lead you out of the darkness and into the light. And show you your worth. And that what these people are saying to you doesn't define you or your worth. Keeping it bottled up where it's eaten at you is only making you feel worse. Because it isn't being properly dealt with but actually sharing it and letting people in. Is what is gonna heal you from your inner demons who are trying to keep you from ever experiencing happiness. And we want the best for you and we want you to be happy and our continuing to fight for your happiness you see the difference." Lena asked with wisdom and overflowing unconditional love and compassion doing what she can to provide support and help me through this.

"I heard them say it was my fault for our mom dying and I'm the reason we're in the foster care in the first place. And I also heard another student say I deserved what my father did to me. I've also heard people talking about my past foster homes like they know what personally happened. And they blame me for ruining homes and happiness for Mackenzie . I'm the reason we get kicked out that I'm a slut that I start relationships with my foster brothers. And that's why we can't keep a home or find happiness because I'm that selfish and only think of myself." I said with anger and sadness as I try to keep the tears from falling. As I struggled to keep them in as they fell uncontrollably as I wiped them as they fell to keep anyone from seeing them. I hated showing vulnerability because in my own personal experience that's how you get hurt when you let people in.

"Oh sweetheart you know it's not true you aren't at fault for your mother dying. We all make mistakes but you didn't cause it or are responsible for it. The only one responsible and should be held accountable for it is the drunk driver. Who shouldn't of been driving in the first place. And second of all you did not deserve what your father did to you. That is the most cruel and heartless thing I have ever heard. No matter what happened to your mother no one deserves to go through that kind of abuse. And should never be treated like that in the first place. And no parent should ever put their child through that. No person should ever have to experience that pain. And lastly of all you did not ruin things for you and Mackenzie. Your a child who has been through a lot of hell in her life and has a lot of baggage from crappy experiences. That's no way your fault you just need someone to love and care for you and take you in and accept you for all that you are and that includes flaws and all. And trauma that people don't want to deal with or bother with. But that's no way your fault or Mackenzie's. And what happened between you and your foster brothers if it's true or not is not your fault. You are vulnerable and people can take advantage of that you just wanted and needed a home your not accountable or at fault for that." Lena said sympathizing with what I've been through and experiencing. And full of love and wisdom making sure I knew I wasn't at fault Or to blame for any of this.