One Of Us

Where is There?

The relief that Anna felt at finishing the album to her satisfaction made itself felt in every corner of their lives, her whole being seemed to relax and her focus finally turned inwards to her family and her pregnancy to the exclusion of all else. She was aware that she must have tried Bjorn's patience to its limits even though he had never admitted to it nor had his love and support wavered, he hadn't remonstrated with her once even though at times she had surely deserved it and more than that he'd taken on the four children and everything that they entailed without hesitation or complaint while she sang.
Her guilt couldn't be denied but when she'd tackled him about it he'd smiled at her, kissed her and said "it's overdue Bella and all part of us being a partnership" his words had eased her but nevertheless she felt the need to reconnect with him and their children. The children were easy in their way Anna took Linda out for a girly morning of shopping , coffee and cake much to Bjorn's consternation but he saw for himself the stubbornness that Benny had spoken of as she insisted that Linda should not lose out to her weirdos and that she wanted to be a normal mum and do normal things with her children, she'd never stopped before and she wouldn't now. He'd waited on tenterhooks for her in the car, he'd insisted point blank on taking them and waiting for them, she took Christian go karting but allowed Bjorn to go on the track with him due to her pregnancy, not that Bjorn would have tolerated anything else, she took Emma to the cinema to see the latest cartoon movie and finally she took Anna to baby swimming.
After this busy first few weeks following the end of recording sessions Bjorn was insistent that Anna rest but she wasn't done yet, when she was sure in her mind and heart that the children had forgiven her self perceived sins and that they were all feeling secure and loved she turned her attention to Bjorn if he did but know it.
She knew he'd been working hard both with the kids and juggling various Chess and Abba related matters so to save the kids feeling uprooted she asked Bjorn's parents to stay for the weekend with them and bundled a protesting Bjorn into her car nearly as soon as he got out of his after work one Friday afternoon late in June. The kids were all in on it and were waiting in the driveway to say hello and goodbye to their father who was bemused to say the least by the swift turn of events, it was only when he took a breath squashed in the front seat of her little car and said "Annabella what in the world is going on? I thought we would have a quiet night together with the kids. Baby I'm tired" Anna chuckled huskily which immediately had his full attention "Hjartat I promise you that you won't be tired when you realise that we are having a quiet night together, just without the kids and I'm making sure that you have everything I promised you before I can't move" she sniggered and gestured to herself "this may well be the last time I drive before the baby comes, I barely fit now and I have 8 or 9 weeks still to go"
Bjorn softened immediately "Bella you're so beautiful" he sighed "Bjorn I'm huge but as long as I'm beautiful in your eyes I don't care" he didn't answer her but the heat in his eyes told her everything that she needed to know
"Want me to drive?" he asked gently "I don't" she said pertly "You said you were tired so rest, you need to be awake and ready when we get there" he grinned at her cheek "and where is there?" he enquired "never you mind" was the only answer he got "this is my date, my rules, my turn" he put his hand on her thigh in a sweet role reversal that made her heart sing and settled back in his seat "Love you" was the last thing he remembered saying because it seemed she was right to make him rest for the next thing he knew she was shaking him awake and as he focused he could see that the sky was starting to turn sunset pink.
"God I'm sorry" he grumbled "I didn't actually mean to go to sleep" he sat himself up "Bjorn you've been doing everything while I've been singing and looking after me when I'm not, you're tired Hjärtat and that's why we're here, a weekend to relax, eat and make passionate love" she teased "We go back Monday morning in time for your meeting at Polar" "Two whole days?" he queried "just you and me?" he sounded like he couldn't believe it "just you and me" she confirmed "it's ok?" "Anna, I'm speechless, you didn't have to do this. I love everything about our life, I don't need rewarding for doing what I love" he protested gently "Bjorn you were the one who said we never should have been past dates and I don't know that I'll be able to go away again before the baby is born. I'm getting so big and tired. I want time with just you before we welcome another member of the army. It was my turn to do a date" she said quietly "Annabella I'm not complaining, never am I complaining . It's a bloody wonderful surprise. I love it and I love you" he looked around him "For the second time today, where is there?" he chuckled "I rented a cottage" she mumbled "where are we Anna? How far have you driven us?" he was starting to get suspicious now "the sun is setting, you shouldn't be driving for hours in your condition. How long have I slept?" he looked at his watch "3 hours Bella!!" he got out of the car and saw the cutest little cottage to his left but ignored it for now, striding instead round to the driver's side and opening the door for her "I wanted to come, with you" she looked on the verge of tears as he helped her out of the car "Anna I'm not angry" he soothed "I'm worried about you, you should have let me drive. Wherever we are I love it but you shouldn't have driven for nearly three hours. I'm driving us home on Monday that's for sure" He wrapped her in a huge hug "I just wanted to do something for you Bjorn, a surprise. You've done so much for me. I can drive" "it is a surprise" he chuckled "Anna I still don't know where the hell we are but it's beautiful. Won't you tell me?"
She snuggled closer to him "we're in Verum, the church is the other side of those trees. I wanted to come here with you before the baby comes" and just like that she tore his heart to shreds "Verum?" he repeated "Where we got married" he sighed "oh that's a long way from home Bella, will you tell me why?" "Because we came before we started our family, each time we came, I wanted the same for our last one" "We did, you're right. I forgot " he said honestly "I'm very sorry, I won't forget again" she hushed him "it's ok, it's a long time ago and a lot has happened in that time. You remember now and that's enough"
They hugged for an age then Bjorn disentangled himself reluctantly because he didn't want to be unpacking the car in the dark, he refused point blank to let Anna carry a single thing and he fell totally and utterly in love with the cottage, just as she had when she'd found it in the brochure. It reminded him of Viggso in it's simplicity but it was all one room except for the toilet and shower so everything was around a fireplace that had 2 sides and was in the middle of the room, everything was wooden, traditional and beautiful and to make it even better someone had lit the fire for them. He could feel the weight of the world slip from his shoulders, he knew the children were safe at Ekero and he'd spied a phone, he'd also had the grace to blush when Anna said "your parents have the number here Bjorn and we can call every day" she was soft with him "no one will get to them, not with your Papa there" she snorted amused "he's worse than you" Bjorn chuckled "true Bella" and finished emptying the car.
By the time he'd bought it all in Anna was unpacking containers of food "Oh no Anna, absolutely not. I draw the line at you cooking after doing all the driving" "it's just to put in the oven Bjorn" she protested "I can do it"
He scowled and she knew that this was not a skirmish that she was destined to win "No Anna" he stalked towards her and took her hand "you will sit here" he directed her to the little dining table and built in bench sitting her down gently "you will tell me what needs to go where and I will do it then while it's cooking I will unpack and you will rest on the bed." She opened her mouth to protest and subsided quietly at the sight of his loving glare. It didn't take Bjorn long to get everything sorted to both their satisfaction, he was delighted that she'd packed so little, it meant she was planning to be out of her clothes more than in them but finding his cameras in the last bag had stopped him in his tracks "you've taken thousands of me this time" she said softly "but not I think quite the ones you want, we want. It's difficult with the kids I know that" she rolled her eyes lovingly "My Mama and Papa will have them next month, they will have Mona's as well" she twinkled at him "I want to try Bjorn. I want to give you what you need, I want to see me through your eyes. If we let much more time pass I won't be pregnant anymore"
There was a silence while Bjorn swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat, he didn't argue like she thought he might over concerns for me her welfare or some such thing he turned towards her and she could see his struggle "You're really going to let me?" he questioned "I'm really going to let you" she told him gently "You're avoiding it Bjorn. Why?" "Because I'd be happy with the pictures I have. I shouldn't have bargained with you. I won't hold you to it" Anna knew where this was coming from, he couldn't accept it was real, the damage he carried still needed work and she knew that this would help both of them "it's my choice Bjorn, you asked me, you said it was only me and I want this with you. This is a miracle Bjorn" she patted her bump "I think it won't happen again because you know I'm going to get poorly after the birth" he walked back to her and hunkered down in front of her "you may not Anna, at least not so bad. Things are so different for us now. This pregnancy has flown by for both of us and you've sailed through it, far better than you did with Christian and why is that Anna?" he asked softly, he didn't give her chance to answer saying conversationally "I believe you're sailing through this pregnancy because you know we're in a different place, you are happy I hope" he met her eyes and she nodded "you're not fighting to save a marriage, you have my undivided attention and my endless devotion and it's anchoring you and this time there is no pressure, not like there was. All we needed was each other and this proves it in so many ways" he caressed her bump lovingly "proves we're doing it right this time"
Her eyes filled with tears "you might have a point" she managed "also we missed 4 months of it" she gave a wet giggle "that's true as well" Bjorn allowed grinning at her "we did and we've been playing catch up ever since" she lent forward and captured his lips "I love you" she murmured "take the pictures, I want one with you in as well though thats my deal" he sighed against her lips "18 years" he mumbled "and just when I think I know you, you come up with something else to surprise me. Why?" he asked "because you are my fetish just as much as you say I'm yours and I see no reason that I can't have a picture for me" "but.." he started "all the pictures are for both of us but I want to see you too. The idea has your attention" she gestured to his erection "it's just for us Bjorn" "A picture, you and me" Bjorn conceded "I'm not turned on by the thought of seeing myself" he hastened to explain "I'm turned on by you wanting it, seeing your reaction to it. I'm turned on by you asking me for it" and his legs couldn't hold him anymore, he ended up on his knees with his head resting on the mound of her belly "I know all of that Bjorn. I don't want to miss a second of our time here" she combed her fingers through his hair gently. I want to eat, rest, spend time with you. I'm hungry " she said with a tinge of embarrassment "so you should be" he said lifting his head "you've had a busy day and haven't eaten for hours, you're baking a baby in there. That takes serious calories" he kissed her hard and fast before rising to his feet "your wish is my command m'lady" and he winked at her. She made herself comfortable on the bed while Bjorn dished up the food, she'd made casserole and mashed potatoes and upon investigation the cupboards were stocked with enough to keep them both happy for the weekend. He carried the plates to the bed and they made themselves comfortable with the minimum of fuss.
"Thank you Anna, this whole thing is beautiful" he told her when they'd been eating for a few minutes "Our dates have turned out to be memorable" she giggled and said "next time it'll be a in house date like the first one, I won't be able to move by then, you'll need a forklift truck to move me" he finished his mouthful "and you know very well Bella that the in house date you did for me is still the very best date of my life and always will be" he waved his fork at her "you also know very well that there will never be any need for a forklift truck, I've said to you a hundred times during this pregnancy that it'll be the 12th of never before I can't carry you. It isn't the 12th of anything and I've never once failed. It'll just never happen Bella" She grinned "I know, I just like hearing you say it, makes me feel less like a whale. You have to haul me out of bed in the mornings now! Let alone when I'm full term" he kissed her gently "it is my honour Bella. This is a team effort and as we get towards the end I'll do whatever I need to do and you are not a whale. The most beautiful pregnant woman I've ever seen is what you are"
There was literally a pregnant silence that had Bjorn fully alert and then she knocked him sideways with " Which brings me very nicely onto, I bought this with me" she waved a thin book under his nose "I ordered it" Unsuspectingly Bjorn asked "what is it?" she blushed a little "it's a guide to sexual positions in late pregnancy." she sighed then ploughed on "I don't want to be the same as we were, we went wrong because we couldn't express our love, I know we talk so much better now but I still want you very much. It's still part of the way we communicate and I don't want to lose it. You won't hurt me, it says so and I need you to love me" she ended on a tiny choked sniffle "I don't want to fuck it all up and lose you again" Bjorn couldn't speak for a second then managed "Anna we won't fuck up, you know that! You won't lose me and I won't lose you." He pulled her right into his arms "We don't need a book Anna. I know how to love you, we've been doing alright so far" "Yes we have, much more than alright but I want that to carry on" she stopped and sighed "oh this is hard" "it's brave is what it is" Bjorn had tamped down his initial defensiveness "when I had Linda it was frowned on to make love when you were pregnant at all and you know we pushed all the boundaries then but we did stop about this time" Bjorn tightened his hold on her and relaxed thinking back "yes you're right, we did and with Christian we didn't when we should have done" he wanted to be as honest as her "I'm sorry" "That's the point though Bjorn, difficult though this is we've made a new world and I don't want to make the same mistakes. We are better now" she said quietly "and I'm also worried about hurting you, I want to be able not to. I want to learn with you and maybe there will be something that we'll keep" "You won't hurt me Anna" he reassured her "but I think it's a fabulous idea. You want to look at it together now?" he asked and when she said yes he fell in love with her all over again, god she was brave. How far they had really come to be able to have a conversation like this and grow from it without hurting each other. "I'm sorry I didn't think of this" he said "we're doing good but you're right. We'd be sliding into that fantasy land we've spoken of so many times. I didn't know if it was possible and I didn't think to explore the possibilities, to question it" "Bjorn times have moved on, what we know has changed. Like me being poorly things are different now" she chuckled "it says in this book that making love can help bring on labour. Imagine if we'd have known that with Christian, it may have saved a lot of problems" "If I'd have known that I'd never have let you out of bed" he growled and then smiled wryly as he remembered the 13 days that Anna was overdue and suffering "this time will be different" he promised "I know but we need to work at it, make sure"
He scooted down the bed and snuggled her into him "Anna settle down, I know where your mind is going, I won't let it happen. You've bought us here for a reason and we'll do it all. We're going to be old and grey together with so many grandchildren that we won't know what to do with ourselves, tonight we will sleep just like this and when we wake up we're going to read the book together. Tomorrow we aren't leaving this bed." Anna settled as he knew she would "I love you " she whispered "and I love you. There is where my heart is" he whispered back.
And they slept.