Miraculously Complicated

New Routines

How did it get like this? Dad's become so distant. Everything used to be so good. Mom... I miss you.

Frustrated tears gather in my eyes but I won't let them fall. My pole extends and I push off of one roof to the next. Everything is a blur around me as I escape into the night. My thoughts race and I force myself to stop. My heart is pounding and I try to slow my breathing. After a few moments I look around as I prepare to keep going, but a view stops me. Such a simple sight yet, so comforting and inviting. Without even thinking about it, I extend my pole and approach her.

"Marinette." I whisper. She startles slightly and turns around. Her eyes meet mine and she smiles softly. I feel my body relax slightly, she always makes me feel welcomed and comfortable.

"Cat Noir, hello." She tilts her head, a subtle look of concern on her face, "Is everything okay? What are you doing here?" I feel my body tense again, slightly embarrassed by my sudden decision.

"Well... You see, I've had a bit of a rough night and so I decided to leave my house for a bit and get some fresh air. While I was out and about I saw you here and thought that maybe we could talk for a bit or not talk?" I look into her eyes and see a slight look of curiosity on her face. I break eye contact and continue to practically word vomit. "We don't have to if you don't want to of course. I just saw you here and thought that maybe you could use some company and... Well I could too if I'm being honest." My eyes find her's once again and my body relaxes as a soft smile comes to her face. She nods and turns around to face the guard rail of her balcony, resting her arms on it. Slowly I walk over next to her and do the same. We just sit there for a moment in silence, looking out over Paris. There are no stars in the sky but the lights of the city are beautiful enough to keep you staring at them for hours.

"You go to Françoise Dupont High School right?" I ask, an attempt to break the ice. She nods. Crap. What now? I asked if we could talk but I don't even know what to talk about. Especially not anything that won't give away my true identity.

"Do you ever get scared? When fighting akumas I mean." She turns to face me, still leaning one arm on the railing. Her eyes bore deep into mine and I find that looking into them gives me a warm feeling, it's calming and comfortable. I don't want to look away, so I don't.

"Yes. Some of the akumatized villains are really dangerous and I worry that something bad could happen. They're just fleeting thoughts mostly though. I trust Ladybug and I know that as long as we're a team we can get through anything." I find myself smiling slightly.

"You really love her, huh?" She says, looking into my eyes. I nod and blush slightly, I'm very open about my feelings for M'lady but when asked about it in the dead of night and so directly, it's kind of awkward. "How are you so open about your feelings? Like you barely even know anything about her. How do you tell her?" She turns back to look out over the city.

"It's easy to be honest behind a mask." I answer truthfully. I turn as well and look at the few people walking around so late.

"I wish I could wear a mask." I glance at her.

"You have somebody you like?" This is a slight surprise to me. Everyone in our class seems to have their person and Marinette doesn't seem like the type to be in love with someone in a relationship. Unless it's Luka? But they ended a while ago.... Maybe she has lasting feelings for him?

"Yeah, and I act like a total loser every time I'm around him. I can barely get a single coherent sentence out whenever I'm talking to him. It's completely embarrassing but I can't help it. When I think about him or see him my heart feels so warm and my stomach flutters. We don't talk much but whenever we do, I feel so happy. I've tried to stop my feelings before, they cloud my judgment, but I can't help it. I'm just stuck with these feelings that I can't get rid of but can't do anything about them either. But I don't even know how he feels about me. Does he love me back? Could he? Does he even see me as a girl or just a friend?" I look at her and see a small tear gather in her eye. What kind of guy could bring such strong emotions to this girl? Could make this girl cry without doing anything at all. I sit there a moment and just look at her. The moonlight on her pale skin, the slight pout on her lips, the tear in her eye at risk of spilling over. Beautiful. My hand twitches slightly and I grab the railing. "Why is it all so complicated?" The tear spills over now, and I freeze, not knowing what to do. Without thinking I reach up and wipe it away from her face. She looks up at me and smiles, sadly this time though. My body turns in her direction slightly as I keep eye contact with her. She doesn't deserve to feel this way. She looks at me with a confused expression, and that's when I realize how close I am to her. I blink and subtly shake my head as I back up.