One Hundred Fifty

16 - That's all that Matter (Feelings .2)

"I want to swing." Nakanguso n'yang saad. Kaya lang ay mainit.

"May payong ako!" Niro exclaimed as if he's someone who showed up as a hero.

Napangiti naman si Clover at dumiretso sa swing, mainit sa pwetan pero kaya naman at pinapayungan nga s'ya ni Niro, bahagya ring tinutulak ang swing na inuupuan n'ya. Brings her back when they were just children playing around the park, she would also stand up at the swing and Niro would move it so high until madapa s'ya.

"Naalala mo noong mga bata pa tayo, we would run here at the fields or I'll push the swing so high until you fell tapos magtatago ako pag tinatawag mo na Mama mo."

Natawa s'ya sa sinabi ni Niro. Exactly what she remembered. "Then we'll play again, hindi na nadala." Umiling iling pa s'ya habang tinitignan ang malawak na parke. May slide, monkey bars, at seasaw.

Puno ng alaala. Even the air feels nostalgic, everything is too familiar for her. Her innocence... Who was taken away.

"May lilim na Niro, sit beside me na."

Umupo naman ito. Namayani ang katahimikan at tanging ang tunog ng mga hinahanging dahon at damo ang pumagitan sakanila. Sabay pa silang tumingin sa kada isa at bahagyang napatingin. Clover look away first, Niro stared still.

"I want to go back..."

"We can't."

"I still badly want too." marahas itong nilinga s'ya at tinignan n'ya ng mataman at ngumuso. "Can we pretend we're four years old again?"

Ang lakas ng tawa ni Niro. "You always request the weirdest thing, Love."

Agad naman bumalik sa alaala ni Clover ang sinabi n'ya kanina. She felt her cheeks heated up and she almost want to knock her head in some of the tree in front of them.

Stupid stupid, Clover.

Bakit ba patanda ng patanda s'ya ay pabata ng pabata ang isip n'ya? Pero paano kaya kung pumayag talaga si Niro...? Anong mararamdaman n'ya? Would she really... forget everything?

"Why did you... decline my offer?"

Niro looked at her, her stares at the ground. "What do you mean?"

"Don't you... ano. Alam mo yun?"

"Ano?"

"Hindi mo ba ko gusto?"

Niro blink twice. He wanted to laugh in mockery. Her? When did he stop liking her? When did he start loving her? To the point that he turns his back at his own bestfriend. And his own bestfriend betrayed him too.

"If I answer that, are you ready to cross the line, Clover?" Tanong n'ya dito at agad na nagtama ang paningin nila.

Napalunok si Clover, "You don't deserve me."

"That's not the question."

"Hindi na ako yung dating Clover. Hindi na ako yung dating... minahal mo."

Niro slowly let out a soft gasp. "You knew??"

Marahan itong tumango at tumingin sa kalangitan, completely avoiding his stares and pursing her lips. "Alam ko pero wala akong ginawa. I was scared to cross the boundaries Niro. But since we were fifteen, I think I never stop liking you. Pinilit ko ang relasyon ko kay Matt. Nahalata n'ya, until college that he wants assurance. Something that I can't give. Doon ko narealize that what I was feeling was not fragile enough to be hidden. So I decided to break with Matt, pero nagalit s'ya at hindi pumayag. Until that happens." Nangilid ang luha sa mata ni Clover, hindi n'ya man minahal si Matt like what she had for Niro, but he was still in his most trusted person that time. She can never imagine that anger can make Matt do that crime. And to her.