~ One Shots ~

Cordelia Goode ✨🔮 〜 I need help

You closed your eyes trying to calm yourself down before you felt your shaking leg being kicked by the person in front of you. You opened your eyes, but you were still looking at your plate, you just couldn't look up.

"Hu-hum Y/n, do you have anything to say about that?" Maddison added bitterly putting the accent on your name.

    This was starting to become harder for you to keep your cool. Your breathing was accelerating and you dug your nails deeper into your skin as your already shaking leg shook even more.

"Calm down, it's just Maddison being Maddison, as usual."

"Everyone's looking at you Y/n, even Cordelia. You wouldn't want
her to see you like that, now would you?"

"It's nothing, just act normal and it's all gonna be fine."

"Yeah, continue to show them how weak you are Y/n! So pathetic..."

"Ahhhh!!! What are they gonna think of me..? I don't like this,
I just wanna disappear! Please... I really don't like this..."

"Y/n?" Cordelia who was sitting at your right put her hand on your arm to make you come back to her. "You're shaking... Y/n answer me please."

    Getting no answer from you, Cordelia started to feel nervous and to worry. She never saw you like that, ever. Usually when you were panicking or not doing good, you always made eye contact with her so that she knew you were there. But today, you were stuck in your head and you didn't seem to find a way out.

Quiet down your thoughts was the only thing you put attention on at the moment so you couldn't be there mentally with Cordelia. The girls around you were starting to worry too, they didn't know what was happening and they thought it was only because of Maddison's comment.

"Girls, do as usual. Eat your breakfast and then head to class, Zoe is gonna give you the lesson this morning." Cordelia said as she was getting up. She leaned forward and whispered into your ear 'Y/n, come with me, will you darling?'

    Even if you were lost in an ocean of thoughts, you did hear Cordelia from far away, like if the current had brought her words to you. You nodded slightly, your eyes still lost into the void and you felt someone helping you get up. The rest all happened on autopilot mode.

Cordelia guided you to your room, but you couldn't really see nor understand what was happening. The only thing you could still do was listen. Not to your thoughts, but to Cordelia's voice that tried so hard to reassure you. It was like her voice was the only thing that connected you with the real world. Your thoughts were still there, but you couldn't understand what they were saying to you.

    Once you arrived in your bedroom, Cordelia made you sat on your bed and she sat right next to you. It's only then that you snapped out of your world of darkness. Your body started to tremble uncontrollably and tears made your vision blurry. But you made eye contact with Cordelia so she knew she had you back with her.

She put her hand on the back of your head and she stroked your hair, wiping the tears off your face with her available hand. Neither of you broke eye contact, you didn't want her to think that you were gone in your thoughts again and she wanted to make sure she knew if you were gonna leave her.

Once you let everything out, you wrapped your arms around Cordelia's body. You needed someone to hold you tight and to tell you that everything was gonna be okay. And Cordelia did.

"I'm here for you Y/n, you're fine. Remember to breath. Inhale... that's it and exhale..." You melted even more into her embrace before you pulled away and met the eyes of a pretty worried woman. You forced a smile to signify you were good. "Do you wanna talk about what happened?"

"It's so stupid..." You looked away, but Cordelia gently turned your head so that you could look at her.

"No Y/n, don't say that. There are no stupid reasons to explain how you feel." You sighed trying to find the words to describe how you felt. But nothing seemed to represent it correctly. "I'm not forcing you, if you don't feel like telling me, it's okay too, I just want to be there for you."

"I don't mind telling you Cordelia, I want to tell you actually, it's just... I can't seem to find the right words." You started to play with your hands, a nervous tic you had when you were in an uncomfortable situation.

"Just say it like it comes out." You took a deep breath before you spoke.

"Lately, I've felt really anxious. I thought I was doing good because of you. But when you announced that the Academy would be hosting Open House and that families and friends would be invited, I just shut down I think... I've never liked to be with a lot of people, it always made me feel like a third wheel and I used to panic if I were with people for a long period of time... And to know that there would be so many strangers in the Academy walking around and talking too loud just made my anxiety worse than it has ever been. And you know that I'm an over-thinker which really doesn't help, so there were just too many factors for me not to drown in my head, being drawn by the waves that were my thoughts. And to add on top of everything, the little scene that Maddison made at the table this morning really put me in a dark place, somewhere I had never been before. I guess it was just a buildup of many stressful things that made me feel like that..."

    The whole time, Cordelia listened to you carefully, nodding from time to time. She seemed to be really concentrated on what you were saying, a thing that you appreciated a lot. She just showed deep concern and that's why you knew that you could always talk to her: you knew Cordelia would be there to listen.

When you were done talking, Cordelia nodded one last time before she smiled at you. She stroked your cheek softly before she spoke.

"I'm proud of you for telling me Y/n. I know it must be really hard right now, but I'll help you all over again if that's what you need in order to get better." Cordelia gave you a small smile before she lodged a strand of wavy hair behind your ear.

"I was actually scared that you'd be disappointed if I told you that all the progress I made because of you was for nothing..." You looked down afraid of what she was gonna say.

"Me, disappointed of you? I could never sweetheart. And all the work we did together was worth it. Maybe you think you lost all the progress we made, but I can assure you that it is not true. We are gonna face this rough pass, together, one day at a time." You felt so supported by this woman, with her, you had the feeling you could climb the highest mountain.

"Thank you Cordelia, I feel so much better now that I told you everything." Some bricks were lifted from your shoulders when Cordelia gave you a comforting hug.

You actually felt like you could surpass this. You knew it would be difficult and you knew it would take time, but with Cordelia, all of that was possible.

。。。

1906 words

{A/N: So, I don't know if it made sense, I really tried to put words on the feelings I had throughout the past weeks. If it's not accurate or if it's nonsense, I'm sorry I really tried to represent how I felt. Anyway, I hope you guys are doing good and stay safe. Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it! -M <3}