the siren's call | felix lee

iv.

The walk home was less difficult than the walk there, the absence of the heavy stack of parchment making you feel much lighter. But you felt weighed down in a different way. The guilt of being the cause of that man's death made your chest feel tight, and you walked even faster in an attempt to outrun the terrible feeling. Your footsteps were the only ones you could hear, but you knew that there was someone behind you, another guard presumably. You felt even more uncomfortable knowing that there was another presence, someone witnessing your fragile emotional state.

Once you arrived back at the castle, you shoved the wagon at the first servant you spotted, leaving her confused with the rickety device in her hands. Your family was once again nowhere to be seen, the castle feeling empty, yet somehow more comforting than it did when their presence was felt. Breathing heavily, you climbed your tower, trying to ignore the pressure in your chest, until it burst as you reached the top of the stairs and fell to your knees, choking on your sobs. You cried for the man who died, even though he disrespected you, you cried for the starving people in the village whom you could not help, you cried for the guard who had to kill the man even though he clearly didn't want to, and you cried for yourself, feeling like self-pity was your only option left. Was it slightly self-absorbed to cry for yourself in such a time? Perhaps. But it had never stopped you before.

Sniffling, you picked yourself up off the floor and trudged to your window, staring out at the violet sea with a melancholy expression upon your face. You slumped down, your back curving as you hunched over the edge of your window, the salty breeze flowing over your tear-stained face, drying the streaks into stiff, matte trails. You looked up to the sky, the sun beginning to dip lower as evening approached. The breeze seemed to drop in temperature as you realized the sun was setting, and you rubbed your arms roughly, trying to warm yourself up.

Just as you were about to shut your window, a low, eerie melody reached your ears and you froze, your fingertips barely grazing your gauzy curtain. Your eyes darted back to the shore, where you saw a faint splash as something disappeared under the water. Your breath caught in your throat as the song continued, and you felt almost hypnotized as you stumbled back down the immense flight of stairs, running as fast as you could outside the castle walls and following the path to the ocean. Plants whipped at your legs and dry branches snagged on your clothes, but you disregarded it and willed your legs to go faster, knowing that you were so close to seeing a siren again. Panting, you reached the edge of the wooded path, and the familiar feeling of cold sand welcomed you back to the forbidden shore as your feet sank into the material. The melody was louder than ever now, and you walked forward, arms outstretched as if you were waiting to grab onto something, your feet shuffling awkwardly as you maneuvered your way across the beach. You could still see splashing in the water as you reached the edge of the sand and the sea, flickers of purple catching your eye every now and then. "Hello?" you called out, your voice ringing clear and loud through the warm toned atmosphere, the setting sun making the perfect background for the most important moment of your life.

But as soon as your voice pierced the air, the song stopped, almost as if your words had interrupted the performance, and the beach grew terrifyingly quiet as the sun finally sunk below the horizon, and you were surrounded by a cold, purple-toned darkness. You no longer felt warm inside, as if you were following something that would make your destiny, your hopes and dreams come true. No, you felt something weighing you down, as if you shouldn't be there. It was a menacing, disturbing feeling that made almost you want to vomit with how unsettling it was. You looked around the silent beach as the cold breeze blew through your hair, lifting up your skirts ever so slightly to expose your legs to the empty setting. Patting your skirts back down, you cursed yourself for being so impulsive, of course a human voice would frighten away any normal siren. Glumly, you retreated back to the path, sitting down in the mixture of dirt and sand, mentally cursing yourself out.