Lost // Ashton Irwin

Float Away

*Still Ash's P.O.V*

She nodded, even though I hadn't really said anything. "Yeah...and then he died here..." She told me, staring out into the ocean.

A knot formed in my throat at her words. "Your father...he died here?" I asked, she nodded and tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes. "Mmhmm." She nodded.

I just stood there, taking in the information. This was the first time she had ever spoken to me about her father and in all honesty I didn't really know what to say.

She sniffled quietly to herself and I wrapped my arms around her, securing her in a comforting hug. "Hey ... its ok... we all have our time." I told her softly as she sobbed into my chest.

"Yeah...And mines today." She whispered, brushing tears off her cheeks. "W-what...? What are you saying babe?" I asked, trying to stop my voice from shaking. I knew what she was getting at but I didn't want to believe it.

She opened her mouth to speak, then shut it again, a faint smile playing upon her lips as she shook her head. "Nothing Ash ... I, I just need some time to think...I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." She said, staring at her feet. I cupped my hands over her cheeks, leaving a little kiss on her nose. Even still, her smile was only faint, not full of life as she used to be.

"Its ok sweetheart...just, please don't say that again, ever...you had me scared to death babe, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." I told her.

I meant every word of it, but something in her eyes told me she had just dismissed it.

She was thinking, but I don't know what about...

"You'd do just fine without me." She mumbled, eyes fixed ahead on the ocean.

Something in my chest shifted at her words. What did she mean?

"No...I wouldn't, I'd be broken without you..." I tell her, but she says nothing in return.

"Look, Evelyn, I don't know whats going through your mind right now but your confusing me... I don't know what you mean and I dont want to try and make sense of it all...I just want you to be happy. You've been so upset and I don't know why...why won't you tell me..." I choke out, not realizing how desperate and worried I sound until the words leave my mouth.

With a sigh her eyes finally met mine. "I don't know Ashton... I just don't know." She breathed. Ive never seen her like this before, so dull and lost. Whatever happened to the life in her eyes? Now replaced with a vacant stare.

Our fingers entwined as I kissed her forehead, I didn't want her to be this way, and whatever it was that had stolen the life out of her, I didnt want to bring myself to think of it.

"Should we take a walk babe? Maybe get some ice cream? Would that make you just a wittle bit happier?" I pressed, poking her tummy to lighten her mood.

"Sure." She giggled. "Maybe we can walk down the pier?"

"Of course darling, whatever will make you happy."

And with that we walked down the beach to the pier. The sky looked miserable and more and more people started to leave the beach, but if Evelyn wanted to go to the pier then that is exactly what we were going to do.

Our pace was slow and few words were exchanged as we walked down. By now we were the only ones on the pier, a few people were still relaxing on the sand below but no one was out on the water as the tide began to kick in.

"Are you sure you want to go all the way down to the end Eve? It looks like its about to storm, maybe we should head back." I said, looking up at the swirling clouds ahead.

She shook her head. "I want to see the end." She pouted.

"But its just the water, the end isn't that exciting." I said calmly "Its really dead."

"Please." She said, tugging on my hand.

"Fine baby, lets go."

I let her lead me to the end of the pier, watching her observe the violent crash of the waves, an evident storm in her eyes and a war in her mind.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask.

"The end."

"Huh?"

"The end of the pier." She shrugged. "I like it."

I felt the tension in my muscles ease slightly. I was glad she meant the end of the pier, not the end of - you know what never mind ... i'd rather not think about that.

"You like strange things baby." I grinned, earning a cheeky smirk from her in return.

"Perhaps thats why I like you Irwin." She said.

"Smooth." I winked.

"Oh I know." She said, fishing into her back pocket and pulling out her phone. "Here, can you take a little video of me?" She asked, handing me the phone.

"A video?" I ask, fiddling with the device.

"Mhmm."

"Ok sure, I'm recording in three, two one, go!"

She gave me a small smile and walked over to the very end of the pier, my heart began to race.

"Babe be careful, I don't want you to fall." I warn.

She ignores me and leans forward, taking in the scent of the sea water. The clouds ahead begin to swirl and darken. Evelyn turns around and takes a deep breathe. "The end isnt really that exciting..." She begins "Its really dead."

My palms are sweaty and my feet seem wedged in the ground... what is she doing? "Babe, c'mere, your too close to the edge your gonna fall." I manage to say, watching the clouds part and the rain fall.

Its like that part in a movie, where everything turns grey and your just anticipating that awful moment.

Its silent. For a moment neither of us say a word. Then she looks out to the ocean...closes her eyes and takes a deep breathe again...I'm still clutching onto her phone, shaking. She turns around with her back towards me, leaning over the edge.

"Goodbye Ash."

And with that she jumps, shes gone.

"Evelyn!" I yell. Just like they do in the movies when an innocent character dies, only this is far from a movie screen tragedy.

I lost her. I let her go. I could have stopped her but I didn't think she'd do it. She's gone and it's all my fault.

I just let her float away...