My Upside Down

The Old Me

The old me was smarter but also a kid who didn't know much and didn't know what to do so of course I went along with others thinking it would be best. My first best friends were Linda,Kaylonni, and Natasha who had my back and we would have a good time together,we would joke around and prank each other which made kindergarten the best, when I first started to get bullied and some moments it wouldn't be as bad, but I would get bullied for being to tall or being dumb, and sometimes people thought I was big for my age, that's what made me insecure but I didn't listen to them becuase I knew that not all of it was true. I even got bullied because I threw up after eating the schools breakfeast... I mean yeah I would think it's gross too, but during lunch a lot of kids would call me names like ms.throw up or "look its the throw up girl" which made me sad at some points because everyone throws up and they decide to make fun of it. Anyways that's probaly gross to think about but eventully it was off and on with the bullying, even if I told the teachers no one would listen, one time in 1st grade a boy slapped me across the face, and then theres that one time I got pushed into the corner of the table and cut the under of my eye which left a scar. skipping 2nd,and 3rd grade... 4th grade was full of drama and honestly I hated it, yeah I had friends but they were not always kind to me, it was scary to know that I was gonna be in middle school soon and more problems/drama and romance would be around that time. When it was around the end of the school year everyone was uncontrollable and I didn't know what to do besides hang out with my friends which I didn't do much becuase they could be annoying. When I would walk home after school I was tired but I still helped my dad clean the house,wash the dogs,help with his medince and make dinner so when my mom got home it would be done. My dad was a very protective,sick but caring, and sad guy, I never noticed it till now because I barley reflected on how he acted to see what we had in common and I am kinda like him if I were to be honest. My dad got sick in 2014 with liver cancer, then he got surgery to fix that. A few years later he got kidney disease and he had to get a transplant which had him on dialysis for a few years then he quit that, after a while he had trouble walking and then he had to be put back on dialysis and he went almost every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. He came home tired and drained from 4 hours of taking blood out of his body, cleaning it and putting it back in. I loved my dad a lot and I loved that we had such a good time together... we had a bond that I can never have with anyone else. We played card games, watched movies together, I would fall asleep with him when my mom was in another room, we would cook deserts together, he would even let me put nail polish on his pinky finger. He was my biggest supporter, he always helped me with my homework, he told me to put my thinking cap on everyday before I went to school, he would ask me how my day would go, sometimes we had our ups and downs but we were like eachothers therapists, he talked to me about how he was tired of being sick and he wished he could get out of the house, he was tired of feeling so drained and feeling lonley, he felt as if no one could understand him and that no one would listen to him. He would listen to me but most of the time I wouldn't tell the truth about how I felt because sometimes I felt like I would be exaggerating, I was 8 and thinking that putting a pillow over my head and holding my breath would actully do something. Going into 5th grade into a new school was scary, but then when I actully started my first day I seen my best friend Kaylonni and she told me 2 other kids from our old school was there too,Andress and his sister. I don't remember much from 5th grade but going into 6th grade was exciting but hard, after a while I made some new friends... Josalyn, Sabreena, Ashley, Blanca, Lidia, and I became friends with Andress. They are all amazing friends but we got a little distant after a while besides Kaylonni, Josalyn, Sabreena, and the others... I had to let go of Andress because after something happended it got weird between us. Then that's when Covid-19 hit and almost all the schools in the U.S had to do online school and it was harder for me becuase I needed physical help and I didn't have that, not even from my own mom and dad because they forgot how to do some of the math that I was doing. Going back into school after online school which was like 3 months, the teachers had everything planned out, they had emailed everyone to wear a mask at school everyday, sanitize your hands and chech your tempature when you got to the school, and when you had got done using the bathroom to put more sanitizer on... I don't blame them for wanting the kids to be safe but they were very strict about it, when they seen a kid with a mask underneath their nose but over the mouth they yelled at them and told them to put it back on, or when you wanted a sip of water they wouldn't even let that happen they would tell you to put your mask back on, they were on our backs about Covid and they even had us get tested. After a few times of going online for school, the numbers of positve covid tests were going up.