BROKEN YET BEAUTIFUL

AFTER ALL THIS TIME, ALWAYS

In a small clumsy one bed room rented flat sat a guy, who looked something in his early thirties. The overgrown hair and unmaintained beard made him looked a few years up the ageing scale than what his real age was. But the guy seemed not to care about it.

Karan laughed sarcastically how that one statement changed his life forever. That one statement and he lost his everything in a blink. His wife. His daughter. His parents. His home. His dream job. And all these accusations were attacking his soul more than anything. No one believed him. The people who were closest to him- his wife, family, friends and workmates chose to believe these journalists and news channel anchors whose name was even unknown to them than to believe Karan.

Karan got up from his chair. Yet today he kept his untouched dinner back on kitchen platform. And moved towards balcony. Even the cool October end breeze could not provide Karan the confront for which his soul begged for. Though winter wasn't in sight yet but the weather had turned pleasant. The moon was in it's first quarter. It was way too far from being complete. Yet it looked beautiful in that incomplete shape. Surrounded with twinkling stars all around and few clouds around. But thoughts kept Karan way too occupied adore this beautiful night sky view.

Does mom still waits for me on the dinner table? Does mom still makes panner just the way I love? Does mom still finds reasons to cook my favourite dishes on weekends? Does mom misses me as she gulps each bite as I do? And Dad do you still get tensed as the clock tickles at 11 in the night and I am not in sight, but hide your tensions behind that stern face of yours? Dad do you still read English newspaper just because I used to read that? Dad do you still wipe dust away from my trophies in the showcase each Sunday morning? Dad do you still struggle to find your spectacles each morning and call out for my name only to realize that I no more live in that house?

Mom dad do you even miss me? Or is it just me that I miss you both? Is everything in my room is kept as it is since the moment I left? Or like me even my memories have been thrown out of the house? Maybe they been thrown out too along me that moment ..It's been 8 months to that day and no call, message or news about you both...Strange isn't it the same son without talking to whom you both couldn't start and end your day now seems lost in the pace of life. Lost somewhere way back. So lost that now getting back seems impossible.

And Nimisha, what do I say to you. I miss you and our daughter, Kashvi each and every moment. But that too seems one way I guess. Or else 8 months and no efforts from your side to know about my well being. The only time you tired to contact me was for asking my address to mail the divorce papers. Looks like all those 6 years of being in a relationship and then 5 years of marriage meant nothing to you. Nevermind, but answer me Nimisha do you miss me when Kashvi while playing calls for her dad? do you pause for a moment when someone at office mentions my name accidentally in your presence? Do you still drink tea just because I used to? Do you still make omelet without onions because I used to like it that ways? Do you still eat rice with hands just as I used  to make you eat? Does my memories haunt you in your sleep just as it does to me? Have you kept my clothes in your cupboard or even thrown them away as you threw me out of your life in a blink?

And yes don't scold Kashvi when she asks for me. She is way too young to understand what is happening. Do you still narrate our school and college tales to Kashvi as bed time tales or just like me you have thrown even the memories we made together out of your life?

And who on this planet doesn't need a family. Family that supports you, loves you, accepts you just the way you are but most importantly the family that he stays by you. Family that always was by me through all thick and thin situations in life just left me all alone in blink. Parents whom I trusted blindly since my childhood, lost all their faith on me in a blink. Parents that gave me an identity, didn't thought even another time before cutting all ties with me. Mother that raised me in womb, who brought me into this world, always showered me with extra love and affection just turned her face away from me in a blink. Maybe it was me who was to blame. What was it that even after spending 34 years along my parents I couldn't earn the faith of my parents, thought Karan as he sighed as he ran his glance around the dark night sky.