Marvel Women One Shots

You're still my love - Yelena Belova

After hanging up the towel I had used and throwing my dirty clothes in the hamper, I emerged from the bathroom.

Yelena, already dressed for the night, looked up from where she was on the bed and smiled softly, which I tried to return. She patted the side of the bed next to her, which I promptly took, snuggling up against her side.

"You sure you're doing alright, детка?" Yelena asked, wrapping her arms around me.

I just hummed in response, nuzzling my face in the crook of her neck. My mind instantly went back to my pronoun problems, wondering how she would actually respond if I told her. I knew she loved me, and I loved her, but I was just afraid she would see me as some kind of freak. I know that's how my family would respond if they ever knew. I don't think I could move on if Yelena thought of me like that. I don't know how I would respond, honestly. Coming out to the team and the Avengers had been hard enough, but this was a whole new level of nervousness. Plus, I wasn't even sure of myself yet.

Maybe I was jumping the gun on this, making assumptions about myself that I didn't even know were true. I knew how I felt, that I wanted to go by different pronouns because I knew they would help make me feel more comfortable in my own body. That's all I wanted really, well that and people's acceptance with this part of me.

In reality, I needed to learn how to accept myself. I remember when I figured out I was gay, it took me a while to finally accept myself and realize that it wasn't bad for me to be this way. It was a long process, and I knew it was going to take me a while to learn how to accept myself all over again.

Yelena began to softly knock on my forehead, making me realize that I was getting stuck in my thoughts again.

"Anyone home?" Yelena asked jokingly with a giggle.

I just huffed a laugh, burrowing deeper into Yelena's side, holding her tighter.

Fanny suddenly burst into the bedroom, bounding through the door and up onto the bed. She flopped down as dramatically as possible on top of Yelena and mine's laps. We just laughed at the dog's antics and unwrapped ourselves from the other, beginning to give the fluff ball the affection she so obviously deserved.

"Oh Fanny, who's a good girl?" Yelena cooed in a high pitched, baby voice while scratching the dog's head, planting several kisses.

I just watched the two of them happily, a small sense of peace washing over, but vanished the moment I noticed it.

Would this happy little family that I have before me disappear the moment Yelena knew what and who I really was.

I felt the smile on my face fade as this realization hit. Yelena must have noticed this because she just turned to examine my face better.

"Ok, what's really going on? Don't try to make any more excuses because I can tell something's bothering you." Yelena asked suddenly, leaning up against the headboard of the bed, still occasionally scratching parts of Fanny's back.

I just stared at her, surprised. What the hell was I supposed to say in response to that? I couldn't tell her. Well, I technically could, I was just afraid.

Letting out a breath, I looked away from the blonde, trying to gather my words and try to come up with a competent lie that she would believe.

"Hey-" she whispered to me, grabbing hold of my hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "It's ok, no matter what it is. You can tell me."

"I know I can...I just don't know how to." I whispered, locking my eyes on the wall across from us.

"Just say it as simply as you can. I won't judge or be mad or anything. I love you, and I wanna be here for you." I could hear the genuine tone her voice was carrying. It was one that I heard every so often, and was vastly different from her usual teasing and joking tone that she took with everyone. It's how I could tell she was serious about her wanting to help me with this, even if she had no clue what the problem was.

What if I just said it like she urged me to? I could and it would help keep me from rambling and beating around the bush. It would cut right to the point, getting the situation right out in the open.

But that's not what I was afraid of. I was afraid of her reaction. All I could think about were my parent's reactions when I came out to them as gay. I knew it was something I would never forget.

I knew that if I never told her though, it would slowly kill me inside. I had to tell her at some point. Now was as good of a time as any, I guess.

"What would you say if...I–" the words felt like they were stuck in my throat. I couldn't do this. I didn't want to risk this.

Yelena just sat there patiently, waiting and watching me with love and support. It was a bit weird, a bit unusual to have someone like her in my life who could give me so much support and endless love. I was definitely grateful, I was just still learning how to get used to it.

"I'm thinking of changing my pronouns." I whispered to her, closing my eyes out of fear of how Yelena would react.

"Okay." she replied simply, like she had just agreed to get pizza. "What are your new pronouns?"

My eyes shot open at how easily she was taking this.

"'Okay?' That's it?" I gasped slightly.

She was taking this way better than I thought she would.

"Yeah? Were you expecting me to react differently?" she asked bluntly, tilting her head slightly in question.

"I mean...honestly I thought you'd hate me for it." I admitted sheepishly, shifting my gaze to my hands in my lap as I began to fidget with the hem of my shirt.

"Y/n, I could never hate you. I love you no matter what, and I want you to be happy. So, if changing your pronouns so you're comfortable makes you happy, then I'm going to support you in that." Yelena sweetly told me, taking my hands in hers so I would stop fidgeting with them and genuinely listen to what she was telling me.

A smile crept on my face as happy tears began to mist over my eyes. It was rare that people I cared about gave this kind of loving support, and it honestly meant the world to me. She meant the world to me.

"So, what are your new pronouns?" she asked, beginning to stroke the backs of my hands with her thumbs.

"I still wanna go by she/her, but I was thinking of also using they/them." I met her eyes as I spoke, taking in the breathless and beautiful sight that they were.

"Cool!" she cheered, bringing me in for a happy kiss on the lips, causing me to smile at her.

She then returned her attention back to the fluff ball that was Fanny, who was now sprawled out across Yelena's lap.

I just stared at her lovingly, grateful for her acceptance, but also grateful that she didn't blow it out of proportion and make it a big deal. She just accepted it, and moved on.

Fanny jumped up suddenly, apparently in need of attention from me, and began licking my face. I just laughed at the dog's antics, the previous sensation of peace settling over me once again.

"Ya see that Fanny, they love you just as much as I do." Yelena declared to the dog, however this time using my new pronouns, which honestly made my heart flip out of pure love and excitement.

I locked eyes with her once again, seeing just pure support and acceptance written all over her face.

I tackled her in a tight hug, stuffing my face in her neck and wrapping my arms around her.

"Thank you for supporting me." I whispered to her.

"I will always support you. I'm so proud of you and I love you so much."