Apex Predator

~THREE~

"That's another thing. They don't want to protect me, because it looks like I just sit back and let them do all the hard work. I'm of Alpha blood line, and I sit back constantly. Why can Silas go out and lead patrol, but I'm stuck here?" He's never fully said why, but I know it's because I'm a girl and he's worried I can't handle my own.

His eyes flashed for a second before he took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, "It does not matter whether or not they want to protect you, they will because I told them to." yes, because that's a great way to have loyal followers, right? No free will? "As for your brother, patrolling is his outlet, and it keeps him out of our hair."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, leaning my back against the wall on the opposite side of the room, "So, you overly care what happens to me, but don't give one fuck about what happens to your son. Got it."

He shook his head and stepped a bit closer, pointing a finger at me, "Okay, now you're reaching. I care about you, and Silas equally."

A fake laugh escaped my lips, "That's bullshit. You give me no space, and him too much space. Why do you think he never tries to talk to you unless it's important? I'll give you a hint, it's not because he's too busy. He doesn't want to."

I was starting to poke a nerve and it was enjoyable watching him struggle to maintain a civil conversation. When it came to dad, I had a bad habit of speaking too boldly. If he was going to keep me locked up like some prisoner, I felt like a little attitude should be okay. He didn't always take it too kindly, but now I could see he was tired of the fighting. He didn't want to raise his voice and get angry, but a part of me was itching for a fight and he refused to let me patrol or even hunt to expel it somehow. "Watch your tone." He warned sternly, "If that's how your brother feels, he can wolf up and talk to me about it."

"Or maybe, you could father up and talk to him about it yourself." I quipped. It was a battle trying to keep myself from saying something smart, but my brain couldn't stop my mouth from ignoring logic as the words fell from my lips.

"Last chance, Astrid. Watch yourself." His eye bore into mine, trying to get me to submit, but I held his gaze. The fire pumping through my veins gave me more courage than I had before, "I don't know what happened to you to make you act so disobedient, but it better unhappen."

I'm angry, and nothing is helping is what's happening. I'm going crazy sitting in my small room, staring at a wall, and thinking about Atlas. Constantly, he is filling up my thoughts with nothing but his perfect eyes, and the way his arms look in the light, or that stupid fluffy brown hair that looks incredibly soft. Anything to occupy my mind with something else than how bad I want him. "I just want to go outside and run. I'm so unhappy just sitting here, I need to blow off steam."

"Getting yourself killed won't help." He ridiculed me, narrowing his eyes.

"Didn't know you thought so little of your pack." I tilted my head at him, raising in eyebrow in fake confusion, "Like they couldn't protect me out there or something?"

They'd be much more willing to have my back if they knew I had theirs, "We're done with this conversation. I don't appreciate your attitude, and you refuse to listen to me. The answer is no."

I'm going whether you like it or not. Try and stop me. "Alright, awesome. Thanks for stopping by, good talk." I rushed over to my door and flung it open so hard I nearly ripped off the door handle, silently telling him to leave. "Please."

A small part of me expected him to stay and pull the Alpha card, but he sighed again and started walking out, only to look back and softly say, "This is truly for your own good. I love you; I'll see you later." then he descended down the hallway before I closed the door again.

The last patrol came back around midnight, because usually at night everything is pretty calm. No reason for nighttime patrols, but it would be perfect for me to stretch my legs and do my best at catching something small. Maybe cool off in some river somewhere and wait for a bit before I go back home and remain a prisoner. I'm not even asking to go on patrol every day, maybe once a week would be good enough for me.

Enough to admire the moon, despite the unfortunate circumstances she put me in, and feel the cool breeze through my pelt. Maybe get into a fight with someone from the clans, that would awesome. Our advanced healing would keep my dad from finding out... unless they severely injured me or worse. If no one was going to teach me, I guess the best way to learn is from a hands-on experience. Sure, I may get my ass kicked a few times, but eventually it'll click, right?

A sigh took over my body and I let myself fall onto my bed; anxiety boiled in the pit of my stomach as stared up at the ceiling once again. Both the thoughts that were fumbling around in my head were things I'd rather not think about right now, but I'm not going to lie, one felt better than the other, only in my conscious though. For a second, I allowed myself to drift off to a place where I could picture what a smile would look like on Atlas's perfect face. Obviously, I've never seen it in real life, considering every time he looked at me or spoke to me, it was angry and disgusted. My imagination was strong enough to fall in love with the way my brain pictured him. So sweet and gentle, and always smiling at me. There is no way I'm going to be able to continue my life like normal when I'm daydreaming up an unrealistic version of him. How am I supposed to mate and have pups with his eyes haunting me every time I close my eyes or have down time. How am I meant to fight and protect when he clouds my every thought. He's going to get me killed, and I'll repeat it until I'm blue in the face. This is incredibly unfair and I'll bet my left leg, he's not even bothered.

There's got to be a way to erase the Mating Bond, if only I could think of it. He couldn't die, because the pain is ten times worse and lasts for the rest of your life, leaving you a bitter old wolf.

I didn't want to be a bitter old wolf, but at this rate, it was going to happen whether I liked it or not. Even if he somehow came around, we are forbidden to even see each other, so no matter what, I was screwed. My head scrambled with every thought in the book and I grabbed my pillow before screaming into it. Being like this was hard, and I wish I was born in the Devines clan. Maybe Atlas and I could've gotten to know each other first as kids, and then when we hit 18, the mate bond activates and its love at first sight. I could've roamed and trained with him and became an actual warrior like Trella. She is the daughter of the late Alpha, and yet she could tear apart even the biggest of wolves in her clan.

As much as I wished that, it wasn't me. No matter the training given to me now, I'll never be as good as all the other wolves that's been training since pups.

This time I let out a groan and looked at the round clock hanging above my large mirror on the opposite side of the room. 5:13pm. I should get a little sleep before it becomes midnight, because I planned on being out all night without any rest. It's going to be a long but exciting experience.