Apex Predator

~THREE~

Yeah, but not by an ass kicking. "Thanks for the concern, but it's really not that serious." Now it was my turn to stand up, and my body turned to face the window, looking out once more.

"Just like always, brushing everything off like it doesn't matter." Silas sighed again and I heard my break creak as he stood on his feet, "One day, you'll learn."

My bottom lip trembled as I tried to hold back the tears threatening to slip from my eyes. I hated crying, always have, and if I knew this is what having a mate would do to me, it would've never even been a thought. "When you leave, ask dad to come to my room please." I asked in a soft voice.

"Okay." Was all he said before making his departure, leaving me in my room to wallow in self-pity before dad got here.

I didn't want to go to the infirmary, not now and not ever again. My soul has never wanted to go hunting and patrolling more than right this minute, and I was going to suggest training me one more time. If his answer was no, that would just mean I'm going to find it elsewhere. I deserved more of a life than this, and if I was going to keep my mind off of Atlas, I needed to keep myself more than busy.

Hunting would help with that immensely, plus I was tired of being the slack that everyone else has to pick up after. I've been stuck here so much, I've barely shifted, meaning my control over it was poorly limited. I'm 19 and can barely control when I shift. If I concentrate really hard, easy peasy, but when I'm blinded by anger or really scared, sometimes it just slips out. I've attacked a guard once because he woke me up from a deep sleep and scared the shit out of me. Woke up, shifted instantly, and attacked him. I was only able to stop when dad went all Alpha on me and made me submit. Another reason I'm hated, I supposed.

Again, another pair of footsteps were rushing to my door before it was swung open. My father looked a little out of breath, and heart felt a little joy in knowing he probably ran all the way through the mansion to get to my room quick enough, "Yes?" No 'hi' or anything? Alright.

"Uh, yeah. Can we talk really quick?" I turned to face him, my hand rubbing at my forearm anxiously.

"Yeah, sure." He almost looked uncomfortable coming into my room. Which was expected, since I practically banished him from it. It was the one place that felt safe to me, and didn't want it spoiled. Silas on the other hand, was always welcome.

"So uh, I wanted to ask you something." I started, looking down at the floor. It was hard to ask him something with eye contact, especially asking something like this. The last time, we got into a massive argument and he told me to never ask again. Here I was, asking for the 50th time, "I would really like to join Silas on his next patrol." I was supposed to be asking, but it came out totally different.

Dad was now the second person to sigh at me today, "Astrid... not this again."

My eyes finally looked up, relieved that he didn't instantly start berating me. He sounded a little worn out and tired of talking about it, but that's the first step to getting a yes. "Please. I can't stay here forever, I need to be out there, protecting our pack."

He slowly closed the door like he didn't want the others to hear, and secretly I wanted them to hear. Maybe they'd realize it's not my fault, and I'm trying to do what's right. "No. You could get hurt."

He didn't even think about it. Like he hasn't done every single time I bring it up, "I could get hurt here, especially without any training." I countered, crossing my arms a crossed my chest in irritation. "What if somehow, we get ambushed here and now I have no way to protect myself. I'm a joke! I can't even hunt."

"There is enough of us to protect you, if need be. You don't need to hunt; we have plenty of food and plenty of hunters to keep us fed." He said a-matter-of-factly. The one thing I hated about having a conversation with him, is he never talked to me like a father would. He's standing in the corner, his hands clasped behind his back, up straight and talking to me like I'm just a random clan mate. Where is the heart to heart like I could do with Mom?