Joseon Guardians: Season One

Tad And Dip vs Manliness - Part One

"Is every diner in this town like that?"

Tad looked around the place rather uncomfortable, counting all the sanitary rules that were broken at the moment. A waitress was chasing after a beever meanwhile a bird grabbed one of the people's food.

"Yep. Altough they have quite good food here", Pi was leaning against the seat, getting impatient that their order was taking that long but hiding it pretty good.

"I don't get what your problem is, Floppy. Seems like a lovely place"

"To you maybe. But I've been in places better than that."

"Duh. It's good for the joseon dynasty. If you want to go eat in a restaurant then change the timeline", his aunt rolled her eyes under the sunglasses.

"I'm pretty sure it's illegal"

"Of course it is. But since when did illegal stuff stop us?", asked his partner smiling. "Remember that one time we sneaked out of our dimension with your brother to go on a boy band concert? Pretty sure there was a good reason why time soldiers came and arrested us."

"Bill, you jumped on us and screamed that you loved these guys meanwhile proceeded to try and make a firework with your powers to show them your affection and committing arson and ending up burning the place down"

"YOU WERE ON A BOY BAND CONCERT??", squealed Mabel excited having her fangirl mode activated.

"I'm Bill frickin Cipher, of course I was on a boy band concert."

"But why?", asked Dipper looking at his demon who had the most proudful look and ignoring Tad knowing he had the most regretful expression on.

"Cause he's gay" said the female demon meanwhile looking around if anybody was coming to take their order and eventually spotting Lazy Susan coming over. She quickly leaned over to her human whispering harshly. "Hey Fez, your crush on 9pm."

"What?"

"Lazy Susan is coming. Try and make a good impression, because I have endured your whining for 5 months now and my patience has its limits."

Before the old man could reply the woman was already at their table waiting for them to say something.

Lazy Susan reminded Bill and Tad of a roboter in a way. Dipper and Mabel just thought she was weird. One of her eye lids was closed and her make up was a bit messy. Bill had a shiver run this spine when they had eye contact, it felt like she was staring right through his soul.

"Lazy Susan there you are! Where were you yesterday?", asked Stan wiggling his eyebrows.

"I got hit by a coach", she said without her face expression changing in the slightest.

"Nice", interrupted Bill, "I got hit by a plane once."

"A what?", asked Dipper furrowing his eyebrows.

"A giant metal flying bird"

"Please don't ask how this happened", sighed the purple demon.

"Well it seems like a lot of fun. You do split plates, right?", asked Stan ignoring the others.

"Maybe", she took her closed lid and put it up only to let it fall back again imitating a wink. "Wink"

"Great! We'll split the number 7 into three, plus a free salad for the lady and a small plate to catch up for the boy", she was noting everything down and left to take care of their order. Stan was watching her as she left.

"Horrible performance Stanley"

"Thank you for your support, Dime Face."

"But Gruncle Stan I want dangos!", whined his niece besides him.