I Should Go

It was about all those little moments we shared. When we started dating, Zak promised me that he would make me laugh untill I cry, that he would never hurt me and he would be the opposite of Jack- the man I was experiencing terror with. And he was. He always got me flowers, mostly lillies because those are my favourite. He made me breakfast in the morning when I was sleeping at his place. He brought me bottle of water when I was having bad headaches and he made sure that I drink it all. We had amazing relationship.

I was helping him with the Ghost Adventures as much as it became my nonofficial job. I was there with him when he had bad night while hunting. When the boys didn't know what to do, I was there for him. I would sell my soul to the darkness just to make him okay and better. And we had a lot of those night and days. I remember once when he came home completely wrecked. I was searching details for another investigation and Zak came in the room and slammed the vase off the table. He told me to leave his office and then he locked himself in. He didn't eat, he didn't drink and I was hopeless. I always left the food for him on the table next to the door, but day later I found it on the same place and untouched.

I was sitting on the floor outside of the office waiting for him to come out. I cried silently because I wanted to help him, but he didn't let me.

„Laura?" he spoke quietly to me. It took me few seconds to realise what was happening. I felt asleep while sitting there. „What are you doing here? It's late." he asked.

„I was waiting for you." I answered and stood up. He did the same and placed his hands on my shoulders. I was waiting what will he do next.

„Let's go to bed." he took my small hand into his big and led us to the bedroom.

Zak then went to the bathroom to take shower and I slipped into the bed, under the soft sheets and waited for him. It took him few minutes and he jumped in bed too.

„Come to me please." he said with his arms open for me to come and cuddle him. And I did as he said. Not because I took it like command, but simply because I missed him.

„How do you feel?" I asked while drawing small cirkles on his tummy.

„Better. I'm so sorry for my behavior." Zak gave me a kiss on my forehead and hugged me a bit more like he was making sure I was there still.

„I was worried." I admitted and a big jawn escaped my mouth right after.

„I know. Don't think about it. Let's just sleep." he said, tiredness already creeping in his voice

„I love you." were my last words before I passed out.

We also had much worse days than this. We used to argue over the smallest things like when I didn't wash my coffee cup from the morning. I felt little bit disapointed that Zak had to make drama over shit like this. I hated moments like this. But I loved those when we made dinner together because boys came over for sleepover. Or when we were editing the evidence from the lockdown. When Aaron was filming his vlogs running aroud the location with his phone, joking. It felt like home, boys were like big brothers that I never had and Zak was man of my dreams. Not by his look, but by his charisma.

But all beautiful things have their dark sides. The side where the sun doesn't shine. Lately I felt like something has changed between us. I didn't know what exactly at first, but my answer came from the news. Blonde woman was telling the world that famous ghost hunter Zak Bagans was spotted leaving the night club with his arms wrapped around another woman, that was not me. Yeah, the media knew about me and Zak dating, living and working together.

But the woman he was with, had perfect long legs, bleached blonde hair, long nails looking like claws, big boobs-fake as well. Her hand wrapped around my man like he was the main trophy. For women like her, he was the trophy. She was complete opposite of me. I was not perfectly skinny the way you can see my ribs. I had curves, my hair was dark brown and my brown eyes with the dioptric glasses on the top of my nose. Why he had to do this? Am I not good enough? Did I do something wrong? Why boys didn't stop him? Did they know about this?

Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I didn't even try to wipe them. Aaron called me the next mornig after those news.

„You did not know about that?" I asked even more surprised.

„No. We came to the hotel late. I was aiming only for bed and that fucker told me he wants to sleep that night off too. I never thought he would go to the bar." Aaron spoke angrilly. He was upset too.

„I can't believe it. Did I deserved this? Did I do something wrong?" I asked hoping for some reasurence that it was not my mistake.

„Laura, stop it. It's not your fault. Zak screwed this. I'm gonna talk to him." with this words Aaron hung the phone leaving the line silent.

I put my phone on the side and went for the glass of water. As I was drinking, the hardest decision formed in my mind. And I hated it from the beginning.

The image of him with her couldn't leave my focus as I packed my clothes into the bag. More tears running down my face as I looked on the framed picture of us on the nightstand. We were smiling and hapily in love.

„Fuck it!" I hissed and zipped the bag.

I went downstairs looking for the rest of my things when I heard the front door open. Shit. Zak is home.

„Laura?" he called me from the hallway.

I quicky wiped my face with the back of my palms, ready to face him. I have decided.

„What?" I asked, my voice sharp as chef's kitchen knife. It surprised us both.

„What are you doing? Where are you going?" Zak was confused. It made me angry even more. Is he going to pretend like it didn't happed or what?

„I don't know. But I'm not gonna stay here any loger!" I spit this words into his face, hoping that it would hurt him, but it hurt me instead. I didn't want to say this to him, but he didn't give me much of the choice.

„It was not like they pictured it. Belie-"

„Why sohuld I?! " I cut him off in the middle of the sentence. „You looked totally fine in her arms! I though you were not this kind of a man." words were rolling from my mouth like avalanche.

„Laura, listen!" Zak grabbed me by my shoulders so fast that it shocked me. My eyes were open wide, waiting what he is gonna do now.

„That girl was drunk! She couldn't even stand of her own. I called her taxi and guided her outside. The paparazzi waiting outside were snapping pics like crazy!. It's fake!" he shouted, his eyes glaring into mine. I always loved his eyes.

„And I should believe you this?! Now let go of me." my voice was strong even though more tears were making their way from my eyes.

„Don't do this." he was really hurt.

„You made me." I answered trying not to break into more tears.

One part of me wanted to hug him tight, but the other one was telling me that this was the reason for feeling different. That all those lockdowns I wasn't part of, were about enjoying time with other women after investigation.

„Please don't go.“ he pleased, his voice sweet like honey.

A heavy exhale left my lungs as I took my bag and put it over my shoulder. I didn't tell him anything.

„You hate me now, don't you?“ he asked looking into my eyes, like he can see the tragic future in them.

„I don't.“ I told him simply as I made my way to the door.

„Then why are you leaving me?“ his voice broke in the middle of the question. That's when I noticed tears running down his face. I hate when a man cries. Oh, how much I hate it.

„Sometimes you have to let go of the things you love the most.“ I said and with this I left his house.

I left him there standing in the hallway with his heart broken.

...

Hello, zase trošku z iného súdka, dlho som rozmýšľala či niečo takéto zverejniť alebo nie, ale nakoniec je rozhodnuté. Dúfam, že sa vám storka páči, prípadne ak náhodou niekto nevie tak moc dobre po anglicky, chystá sa aj slovenská verzia. Ak nájdete nejaké chyby, ospravedňujem sa, napravím. Vaše názory, ak nejaké máte, si rada prečítam v komentároch. :)

Krista ☺️