Behind Closed Doors

I

Complications

Yawn

It's not like I've never heard these words before, especially coming from my friend who loves to constantly scream whenever I've done something "bad for me". Oh, my manners, I'm sorry, my name is Song Ara, with my name Ara meaning be beautiful and good. I have the beautiful part down, and until I met him, I was definitely on the nice list, now not so much. Sure, I let my sweet, good girl facade run down the moment that I met him, but that wasn't my fault, he was definitely irresistable. I let a loud sigh escape my lips as I listened to my best friend ranting on and on about what I should be doing with my life and who should and shouldn't be a part of it. Don't get me wrong though, I love Hana, she's always been my rock and wiped my tears no matter how many times I let this dickhead make me cry, but right now a life lecture is not what I needed, nor was it the reason I called her. I released another sigh, hoping that she caught on to the fact that I don't want to talk about this, about him anymore but can you tell Rei Hana anything? No, no you can't.

Maybe she was only telling me these things because after the twentith time I needed to hear them, because I'm too fucking stubborn to listen to anyone else but her, but this shit hurts. There's the never-ending cycle of pain that lives deep in my chest, like a knife stabbing me over and over again, simply because I won't let this guy go, because he is like my drug, my addiction.

My cell phone lights up, I've got a message and I pray it's not Hana now changing from wanting to scream at me to wanting me to read and have the conversation haunt my thoughts over and over again. My heart leaps in my chest as I look at my screen, reading the same four words over and over again.

I'll be there soon.

I smiled like a fucking idiot, like when a fat kid sees cake. I know I look dumb and doofy and stupid, but I didn't care, he was on his way to come and see me, almost as if he knew that I needed to see him. Almost as if he knew I needed an escape and he was the one I needed. Butterflies began to swirl and flutter in my stomach, but they quickly vanished when Hana's loud angry voice screeched through the phone.

"Are you ignoring me Ara?!" She screamed so loud that I needed to pull my phone away from my ear, she caused the line to screech. You have no idea how badly I just want to fucking hang up. "You don't need him Ara, you know that he's bad fucking news don't you? He's only in your life to distract you, fuck you up mentally and emotionally." I wish I could say that Hana was wrong, but she wasn't, he wasn't the settling down type of guy and I knew that before this all started. "You have your whole life ahead of you Ara, we're still fucking young, you're only twenty-two you're almost done with college, two more years girl. Remember when you decided you wanted to go back? Get extra degrees? I believed you could do it, but him? He's twenty-four and I'm positive that he never had to fight for anything his entire life."

I sighed heavily. "Hana, I really want-"

"Wanting is something that children do Ara. Like I said, everything in his life was handed to him, or he took it. He's never worked hard or earned anything from anyone. That attitude is for ruined men, and yeah I'm saying he's definitely ruined. All he does is smoke, drink, and have sex with who knows how many women throughout the day. When he's not inside of you he's probably racked up being inside six other women."

Again, Hana isn't wrong with what she is saying, I can't even begin to count how many times I would call her crying after catching him texting booty calls, or lying about where he was. Every time I would assure her that things would be different, and that we just needed the space to work on things. Every time she would wipe away my tears and tell me that he and I were going to be okay. This time it's different. Still, I wanted to convince her one more time.