Through her eyes

Chapter one: A falling castle

      'The world is your oyster', that sentence always seemed right to her. She'd had no reason to question it, the thought of questioning it had never even come to mind. It was one of those phrases that seemed to always be around, no matter where she was. She didn't like the saying, in fact it irked her.

      There was however one quote in particular that she loved more than anything, a quote from Gilbert K. Chesterton which read 'There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.'   It didn't matter how many times she heard the words, they always meant the world to her.

      Her castle was all thought out in her head, or at least it's outward appearance was. The outside of the castle would be made of cobblestone, with roofs of pastel blue shingles and with gardens that wrapped all around the base of the castle and expanded into it's front lawn to create a maze.

      The first time she'd heard the quote she'd been no more than 6 and no less than 5. The quote originated from a book written by Chesterton called The Everlasting Man, published in 1925.  Though it was true that the book had been written about religion, she had always thought of it as a dream castle. While people could change how she dressed, or how she talked or even how she behaved, no one could ever change her thoughts and dreams. Her thoughts and dreams were hers to change and decide upon. Or at least, they had once been hers to change and decide upon.

      It started one evening during the summer, sometime during late July or early August. Her castle stood proud and tall, hidden away from everyone else. She was eight or nine at the time and she was at summer camp for the first time. At first she was excited, everyone was nice it was going well. And then, her mother left and that was when camp really began.

      She grew close with a lot of the cabin counsellors, often choosing to hang out with them instead of her peers. The counsellors were kind, smart and funny, they were the best people to hangout with, the campers on the other hand lacked all these qualities. The moment the counsellors left she was instantly bombarded with harsh words and rough shoves, her belongings would disappear and return dirtied or buffeted and she found herself in near constant contact with one of the items she was allergic to. 

      Through it all, the castle though teetering remained standing, she had made at least one friend. Yet, even that came to an end, as all good things will. Her friend befriended her bullies and now played a key role in her daily torment. A lot of the campers were kind and smart and funny just like the counsellors, she however had been placed in a cabin with the meanest bunch out of all the girls. It couldn't have been a worse fit. 

      Despite the bad experience with the girls, she found herself still looking for a friend. She became close with a small cluster of boys, the outcasts group, well soon to be group, at the time they were a duo. Somehow, the girls from her cabin were able to convince the cabin counsellors that they were a bad influence so soon they were known as the 'Terrible Terrors' and/or the 'Oak tree three.' The names were accurate, though not for the reasons the counsellors assumed. Each of the three had horrible nightmares which caused them to stay awake out of terror, because of this they could often be found spending their free time napping together under a large oak tree by the lake. 

      One morning, a beautiful morning if you asked her, everything changed. The two meanest girls from her cabin were picked up early and the rest of the group didn't seem to care for tormenting the other kids without them. It was two days before she was set to get picked up and she knew she was going to enjoy them. 

      That day was the most fun of all the days, she spent time with her friends splashing about in the lake. It all went well until the end, the last couple hours before lights out. Her hair was filled with sticks and the tank top and shorts that she wore were speckled with mud. Her pale skin was freckled with flakes of dirt. The summer air was still alive with it's last remnants of heat but it was dark outside, lights out would be happening soon.

      She tracked across the entire camp, aiming for a building on the opposite side of the large group of buildings, she was heading for the bathhouse. Almost everyone was already in their cabins, done with the bathhouse and turned in for the night, those who were awake were sticking very close to their cabins, grabbing forgotten items or getting one last look at the night sky. 

      She wished she'd bought a flashlight as she neared the bathhouse building. From the direction of her cabin she would have to walk along the cement sidewalk that looped around the building to reach the girls area. Just as she was about to turn onto the part of the sidewalk visible to other campers or counsellors, an arm snaked around her waist as a hand reached up and covered her mouth. She felt herself being pulled back behind the building.

      The next ten minutes were all a blur. Her cheek was pressed to the concrete so hard her vision blurred, tears further distorting the images and a calloused hand was put harshly over her whimpering mouth. When she thinks back to this particular moment in time she won't be able to tell you everything that happened, her memory of this time is fragmented. 

      She remembers the feeling of his rough hands exploring every inch of her body as she cried, she can feel them running up and down her sides, travelling over her chest and she still feels his calloused fingertips caressing her thighs. It never made it far, before he could continue with his defiling a branch snapped in the forest, effectively scaring the man away. She just lay there, sobbing near silently, clutching her dishevelled clothes to her body. She waited for many minutes before rising from the ground and proceeding to the bathhouse. She scrubbed her skin so hard it bled before returning to her cabin, freshly dressed with a small smile.

      She vowed she would never tell anyone about the... touching without consent. She knew she could not trust them and that they probably wouldn't listen anyway. And yet, she told me.