ARE YOU HUMAN?

CHAPTER ONE

As she climbed the stairs to the Central Awareness building, Joyce 's stomach gurgled under the new silver tunic she had put on especially for this meeting. Her stomach was empty because she had been too nervous this morning to join the other students for breakfast;she hadn't wanted to see any of them before she met with tutors.
All her block mates knew about it, of course; it has been posted on the audio computer yesterday . They'd all been able to read her aura she see the anxiety she was feeling last evening. If she's seen then this morning,they'd all have commiserated with her and despite the encouragement each of them would freely extend, Joyce knew she'd end up feeling even more like an alien and a failure than she already did,as well as good and annoyed with the whole lot of them. She was the class failure and she wondered why she was the only one being summoned to the tutors joint session this morning,and she was pretty sure it wasn't because they wanted to tell her she was doing well. She snorted at the thought.
She brushed at a spot on the thigh-high skirt of the shimmering tunic,wondering distractedly how she had managed to get dirty between the pioneer compound and the tutors building. Anyways! She had reached the top step of the Tutors building and paused a moment,drawing in a deep,calming breadth to dispel the butterflies in her stomach.She presented her ident fingerprint to the robot at the door,and walked slowly inside.
''Come in, Joyce.'' The voice was deep and infinitely soothing,abd it's very timbre dispelled at least some of her nervousness, just as it was designed to do. All the tutors had perfected voice-cell interaction,using sound to influence emotion.It was one of the few subjects Joyce was good at,although of course she hadn't reached anywhere near the level of the tutors. And it wasn't something she'd learned,she'd simply inherited her Great Grandmother Victoria's compelling,husky voice,and an intuitive understanding of phenomonics,the individual soul notes to which each person responded.
"Joyce,dear child,come in." The three tutors,two female,one male,all greeted her with hands outstretched,and she felt loving reassurance flow through their fingers into her;positive energy.She knew they were scanning her aura and there wasn't a damn thing she could do to hide her apprehension and her sense of inadequacy.
She suppressed a sigh, and Alpha smiles at her,radiating sympathy and support.Perry waved her to a chair and John teleported a soothing cup of tea toward her,not spilling a drop.Joyce remembered how bad she is at teleportation as she took a long,reviving drink.
"We're concerned for you,Joyce." Perry began.
"We realize you're experiencing frustration,which of course is blocking your progress in almost every endeavor.We're here to help,and we thought that perhaps together we could come up with a more positive approach to awareness attainment for you."
"We have a suggestion," Jenny chimmed in. Joyce had always felt comfortable with John,even though he was male. He was the youngest of the tutors by atleast fifty decades,but she sensed that John liked her in a purely platonic fatherly for fashion,of course. They all loved her;they were masters of universal love,but to Joyce,John's LIKE was something special.
"I'd welcome any help you could give me," she said with humble dignity,feeling both relieved and grateful.
"You're absolutely right," Alpha said,reading her thoughts and then nodding her curly dark head.
"Maybe I'm not a candidate for awareness,"Joyce blurted out. "I have the desire,but I can't seem to master the techniques."
Confessing seemed to lift a heavy weight from her shoulders.
"Desire is all," Perry intoned. ''Ask and you shall recieve instruction."
"I do ask," Joyce said. "But then I'm always afraid I won't understand the answers. And usually I don't,either."
"The answers are there,inside you,waiting for you to discover them.All you need is confidence,"Alpha reminded her.
"We have a suggestion." John said once again.
"Of course it's entirely up to you.As you know,we never do more than suggest."
Alpha nodded agreement,and Joyce wished they'd just get on with it.Perry grinned at her,that flash of mischief in his eyes. "We're a tiny bit sluggish at getting to the point, I agree." Joyce blushed.
"Well,Joyce,the conclusion we've reached is that we feel you'd progress much better after a respite in totally different environment. Constantly trying defeats the very purpose of your studies,and we sense a weariness in you,child. Depletion of the vital energies can lead to....."
Alpha interrupted. "Yes,yes,she knows all that,Perry. Let's cut to the kernel here. Now,Joyce,you've heard of our Reachback program,of course?"
"Joyce nodded, confused at to what seemed an abrupt change in topic.
Reachback was a program she'd been fascinated with,because it involved history. The techies had experimented with sending advanced graduates back to the late twentieth century in an effort to speed up the awareness development of certain groups living at that period and perhaps avert some of the environmental problems and that had proved so difficult to clean up over the centuries. It involved fooling around with probable realities,which was a discipline Joyce hadn't yet encountered in her studies.But for some reason the program hadn't been a success.She'd heard on the gossip network that it had been abandoned.
"That's absolutely accurate,Joyce." Perry nodded her golden head. "The idea was sound,the technique foolproof,but we underestimated the impact that our students would have on that era. It was just before the New age Revolution,you see,and awareness was viewed almost as an aberration in those days. After several incidents,we came to the conclusion that sending advanced graduates back there wasn't the best idea. They tended to scare even the early seekers for the truth,to say nothing of the general populace."
"Perry was somber,but Joyce caught the flickers of amusement on John's face. "The nineties people began to think our Adepts were angels,you see," he explained. "And unfortunately one of the Adepts became so caught up in the frenzy, he began to believe his own PR. It was a fiasco, and of course we couldn't have that,not at the very dawning of the era of self-determination. They were all recalled."
Joyce felt sympathy for the citizens of the 1990s. She knew all too well how inadequate a bunch of Adepts could make a person feel.
Again,Perry had monitored her thoughts. "Your understanding of that problem is exactly why we wondered if maybe you might like to take a little trip back to those times,Joyce. That,and your fascination with history."
It took a moment for Perry's words to register. A trip. A trip back in time. Holy miracles,was she hallucinating?
The tutors watched the effect of their suggestion. "We do have an assignment for you," John added,"so the journey won't be entirely free of responsibility. It involves research. You know I'm working on detailed biographies of the seminal people of the New Age?"
Joyce didn't know. She shook her head.
" In celebration of our bimillennium,we're compiling docudata for the history roms that trace the events leading up to the four Hundred Years of Peace. But we're finding that our source material is woefully sketchy on several influential souls."
"Why not just tap into the reincarnations records?" Joyce asked.
Alpha gave her a patient smile. " It would be a simpler solution,I agree,but you know we can only look into past lives with the consent of the present incarnation,and unfortunately,all individuals concerned are not presently incarnate," the tutor explained. "We would violate the privacy laws."
Joyce nodded. She knew that,of course. Her brain wasn't working properly. Her thoughts were raving. "But.....but why,why.....me?"
John replied "We feel you have a rare gift,Joyce,in that you understand and appreciate vulnerability and uncertainty and human emotions more than most of your fellow students. Unfortunately we Adepts tend to lose sight of the basics."
Joyce was dumbfounded. They were actually saying she was better at something than the others were?
"We've checked and it seems you didn't have no active incarnation during the late nineties,which means you will avoid the awkwardness of meeting a former version of yourself. If,of course,you decide to accept the assignment." Alpha interrupted her thoughts.
"The choice of whether to go or not is always yours,as you know.Freedom of choice is what awareness is all about,after all," John reminded her.
"This could be a dangerous assignment for you,Joyce. Not in the physical sense,of course," Perry announced. "The techies assure us that the transport system is perfectly safe,going and returning. But in other ways, many of which even we can't anticipate,it could be risky for you. Lonely. Foreign. The nineties were a period of great turmoil. And it's going to be terribly difficult,for instance,to slow your vibrations to match those of the natives. As far as we can determine, there were only a handful of old soul Adepts Incarnate back then. Like attracts like, of course,so you'll probably encounter them,but basically you'll not be totally unenlightened,which is what defeated the other travellers."
Perry frowned. " You'll be away from the guidance data banks,and although we'll try to contact you telepathically,if we succeed we won't be able to assist you in any physical way. If you decide to accept,you must be aware there are risks. Perhaps you should take an interval to consider it ?"
" No, I want to do it.I really want to do it" Just the idea of being away from the students and the disciplines for a while lifted a heavy burden from her heart. "When can I leave ?
Meditate on it,Joyce " Alpha suggested. If you still feel the same way,we'll begin briefing you on what you'll need to know."
"I'll meditate," she promised with a sigh.
"Good." They rose in unison,dismissing her.

THE ROOM WAS SILENT for a long moments after Joyce's departure.
"Do you think we should tell her all the implications of this trip ?" Alpha's aura reflected on her concern.
Perry shook her head. "She has enough problems with self image. Loading her down with the responsibility of salvaging some our New Age beginnings. It will only tend to block her natural abilities,which is considerable.
"Well, I hope the child is tough enough for this assignment," Alpha remarked with a shudder. "The nineties aren't my idea of a pleasant decade to visit ."
The others were silent. They knew that John and Victoria (Joyce's Great grand mother) were lifelong friends. If he and Victoria felt Joyce was equal to the challenges facing her,so be it.
All that remained was the tricky task of briefing Joyce without revealing to her the huge implications her assignment could have on the successful and peaceful evolution of all their ancestors into the New age.