Marlena walked into John's loft, breathing deeply of his scent, and looking around for Brady. She wasn't back to work yet, and she found herself spending long days alone while Roman worked. With the her near constant solitude Marlena had taken to dropping by John's loft to visit with Brady almost daily. Today, she seemed almost relieved to see her. "Hi, Patsy. I came to see Brady for a little bit," Marlena said, laying her coat on the back of the couch, and placing her purse next to it.
"Oh, Dr. Evans! Do you happen to know how I might reach John?" she asked. Marlena noticed that she seemed frazzled, and distracted. "The number he gave me said he'd just left there, and I just received word that my sister was in an accident. I really need to go."
"I have a whole day free, with no plans. Go. I'll stay with Brady," Marlena said, walking over to his playpen, and picking him up. "Has he napped yet?"
"No, I was going to feed him, and then get him settled for a nap, before I got the phone call."
"Patsy, it's okay. I'll stay with him," Marlena said nuzzling his face, and breathing in that soft baby scent. "I don't mind."
"Oh, thank you so much! Can you tell John how sorry I am?" Patsy said, as she gathered her thing things to go.
Marlena held Brady up, and looked at his grinning face, "So, it's just you, and me for a little while, huh, Brady? Let's go see what was for lunch...hmm, strained peas. I can't say that it would be my first choice. I've never liked peas, myself, you know." She settled him into his seat, and sat in front of him.
Twenty minutes later, half of the peas were on her, and she had a very messy Brady to clean up before his nap. Marlena couldn't stop laughing, while she walked up the stairs with Brady jabbering at her, and waving his hands around expressively. "You don't say?" she asked him, as if he was having a whole conversation with her. "Come on, let's get ourselves cleaned up," Marlena said, walking into John's bedroom. Covering John's bed with a towel, she laid down Brady, and realized, she couldn't even begin to clean him up, until she put something else on. John was so predictable, she found a pair of sweatpants, and a t-shirt from the bottom, left hand drawer of his dresser...exactly where he kept them when they were married. After slipping them on quickly, she took Brady into the bathroom to clean him up.
Brady's bath made her miss the twins even more. She loved being a mother, and mothering Brady was so easy. He was easy to love. He babbled, and cooed, splashing water, and laughing at all of her dramatic, and over the top reactions to his antics. His trust in her soothed her soul.
By the time she had him dried, diapered, and dressed in soft pajamas, Marlena was yawning. It had been another difficult night of sleep, and Marlena hadn't allowed herself to call John last night. As much as she had wanted to, she'd held back from calling him, because she knew that when she called him...she was likely waking him up. He would never tell her not to call, and she didn't want to take advantage. Instead, she had become very familiar with the television, and the couch in the living room.
She could have taken Brady to his crib, and taken her own nap on the couch. She could have taken Brady with her to nap in the guest room. She didn't. She took Brady back into John's room to nap. Thinking on why she made that choice wasn't something she allowed herself to do in the moment, but as she and Brady settled into John's bed, under the warm blankets, and snuggled into his pillows, they were both content and happy to be surrounded by his scent.
The loft was unnaturally quiet when John returned home an hour later. As soon as he entered he knew Marlena had been by again. Her scent filled his senses, and his body shivered in response. His physical reactions to her were becoming harder and harder to control, and his dreams were simply out of control. He didn't know how much longer he could continue to go on like this, loving her the way he did, and yet, unable to express that love.
