Every Now And Then, He Goes By Ben - Spideypool

Chapter 2

"Dik-Dik! Tick-tick. This beat is sick-sick! Pretty slick-slick. Come on take a lick-lick of my dick-dick, Rick-Rick!" Wade did some freestyle, beat boxing above his target who wailed in misery, his finger that had been cut off being used as a microphone for Wade's one-man show.

He couldn't help it! Ever since he met the sk8er boy™, everytime he heard anything ending with "ick" or caught a glimpse of the Back To The Future water bottle, the guy's doll-like-face came to mind and he just had to throw a rap battle with anything that rhymed with dick.

"Heh.. Dick" he laughed.

Rick Finch, an older son of a gun who Deadpool was contracted to give a little scare, gave an attempt to scramble back, babbling about "getting the money back" or "won't happen again" and so on.

Rolling his eyes from under the mask, Deadpool took a quick glance at the time from his Hello Kitty watch, hand coming to his cheek with a gasp as he dropped the man's finger

"Goodness!" He exclaimed "It'll be time to meet Spidey soon!" He noted, ignoring how the voices chanted Spidey's name as he span around and hopped out the window. What? He needed to get the spider some food and he was already running late.

With his limbs all in place, he hummed along to the theme song of Hello Kitty, large paper bags with more grease than food in hand as he climbed to his food-date spot.

"It's not a date" Spidey would say but Deadpool knew better. It tots was a bro-date, Spidey loved him.

Or maybe he loved the food he brought... Well, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach so Deadpool wasn't too worried.

Kicking the door to the rooftop open with a small wheeze (he was getting really good at climbing stairs), Wade noted how Spiderman perked up, head turning towards his direction.

"'Pool" he greeted cooly and despite the mask, Wade could feel those greedy spider-eyes on the food.

"Spidey!" Wade sang with glee, sitting on the edge besides his all time fav-hero, placing the bags between them "you won't believe the day I've had!" He laughed

"I can imagine" Spiderman said simply, hands digging through the bag and pulling out one of the many many hasbrowns.

Deadpool paused, watching as Spiderman pulled his mask just above his cute lil' nose to stuff the hasbrown in his mouth, marvelling at the perfect cupid-bow of his lips for a moment.
Sure, he liked Spiderman- who didn't! With his cute little perky ass and cute personality of an ass- who wouldn't like him? And sure- Maybe Wade had a little bit of a celebrity crush of the guy that's developing into more because they are kind of like total beasties, but can you blame him? Look at his adorable cheeks! And his munching cheeks!

Clearing his throat, Deadpool turned just enough to pull up his own mask and join his broski for spider-dinner. He wouldn't risk losing the bromance he has going on with Spiderman, not after all the character arcs they experienced together.
Out of anyone, Spiderman was the man Wade didn't want to be disliked by and if by any chance the hero he respected had any negative reaction to something he can't control, AKA: his skin, then Wade wouldn't know how to live with himself... He'd probably die

And he quite literally can't die.

The sound of the bags moving brought I'm out of his own mindscape and Wade awaited for Spiderman to grab what he wanted before he grabbed his own share of food and-

Oh.

A comforting weight and warmth filled his back and-

Oh. Em. Gee...

Spiderman was leaning against his back! They were back to back! Literally! Physical contact and everything!!

"I thought you were going to tell me about your day" Spiderman spoke with a mouthful of food and Wade remained frozen to the spot because he could feel the vibration of Spidey talking and it was warm and just...Nice.

"I have something better!" Deadpool blurted out, hand shoving inside one of the bags and grabbing whatever it first touched in utter panic, his mind scrambled for anything other than death and threats of his day to tell to Spidey, landing on "Did you know there's fan edits of your boss on Instagram?"

Spidey tensed, Wade could feel it and he briefly wondered if he fucked up- it wouldn't be surprising but the question would be how does one fuck uo with that? Was it the boss part?

"Seriously?" Spiderman asked, slurping on his drink

"Yep! I saved all my faves to a folder" Wade pulled out his phone, already opening the app

"You save...those?" Spiderman asked

"Yeah! I have like...A folder for your edits, your boss' and Jhonny Depp too!" He pulled his hand back so Spiderman could see, only wondering if he should've mentioned the "Spidey♡" edit folder to Spiderman.

"I..." Spiderman seemed to struggle "I didn't know my boss had... fans...?" He said slowly, taking out a burger to eat

"Spidey- Have you seen that man's ass in those pants?" Deadpool spoke seriously "you almost have a competition- but no worries! Your butt will always be my top 1!"

"...you have a tier list for butts?" Spiderman attempted to hide his laugh but Wade, once again, felt it from how his shoulders shook slightly and noted from the way his tone turned amused

"Sure do! You don't?" He asked

"No, I don't" Spiderman bit into his food, chuckling and Wade felt his stomach do that little loopy-loop that happens everytime Spidey laughed.

"You should!" Wade pushed his weight back onto Spiderman, leaning back  "My numbro uno bootay is Spider-ass"

"Don't call it that-"

"Second place would be Mr Peter Parker" he continued to list "I've met the guy before you know? The pictures are NOT photoshopped at all" he emphasised because Spiderman, despite acting weirded out, still laughed "next time you two meet, you should totts check him out and maybe sneak some pics- I wanna make a collage" he joked

"Dude- No" Spiderman pushed bumped his elbow against Wade's side with a laugh "Any other ass I should check out?"

"Well..." Deadpool hummed, slurping on his milkshake with a hum "I've been meaning to change my list lately but I'm not too sure-" he said recalling "I saw this one dude and I'm thinking of finding out his identity just so I can add him to my list but then again it was dark so I'm not too sure if he really had a thiccalicious booty or not"

"How about you stop being a creep?" Spiderman suggested

"Hey! He was a creep first!" Wade countered "Actually- weird not a creep but you know what I mean"

Spiderman paused for a moment and Wade wondered if he had been really upset with the conversation until-

"Did he bother you?" Spidey asked and Wade had to sit fowards, afraid he coukd feel the way his own heart began to pace.

"No" Wade said, still taken aback by the genuine worry in Spiderman's tone "No, he didn't- the opposite actually" he said a bit more quietly "he seemed to want to help but I might even scared him away"

"... Ah" Spiderman hummed "Were you covered in blood?"

"No! I mean- Yeah, duh! But it was MY blood and he didn't seem too bothered by the blood itself-- Actually I think he knew who I was- Yeah!" Deadpool recalled "he seemed to recognize me but still- like- approached me??? Weird" he said

Spiderman remained quiet so Wade continued

"I think it's because I said he reminded me of a dik-dik" he mumbled.

Spiderman tensed and Wade wondered if dik-dik was offensive- he thought the small deer lookalikes were adorable though- with their massive eyes and funny nose scrunches.

"Heh... dick-dick"