The Power of Revelation: The Truth Shall Set You Free

Chapter 13: A senseless journey with no end

I will make it home.

The pain was something that Ajax would never get used to.

His memories were supposed to be his only comfort in this realm of nothingness, and yet, every time he tried to pull up a memory to keep his hopes up, to remember the kind, innocent boy as he slaughtered another vile beast, his entire body trembled.

His skin felt like it was on fire, his limbs felt cold and stiff, his head pounded like he had an entire avalanche dropped down on him, and his blood squirmed and wriggled uncomfortably in his veins, as if it had turned into insects that wanted nothing more than to burst out of his pathetic, weak human body.

There's no such thing as happiness down here.

Ajax had no choice but to push his once happy memories aside, if he didn't want to be a sitting duck for a mere Hilichurl Shooter to snipe him from half a mile away. His memories were hindering his ability to fight, were destroying his body from the inside out, were killing him before he killed himself.

Jean gaped like a goldfish, as she clutched her sister tightly, praying to Barbatos (yes she knew Venti was like... literally lounging on a couch with Xiao, Aether and Paimon), thankful that she hadn't been unfortunate enough to take a trip to the Abyss.

Barbara had always been a constant in her life, even after their parents' divorce, even if they never really grew up together, even if they were only able to really interact after the idol's fans got so intense that even kind, sweet Barbara had to ask the Knights to help her on occasion (which was mostly Kaeya chasing that damned Albert away, the Calvary Captain adored Barbara even if he was snarky as always, or even Rosaria or Diluc if either of them happened to be nearby. They would always relay the news of the situation to the Acting Grand Master, whereafter she would set some time aside to check on her little sister).

She loved her darling little sister, and part of the reason she worked so hard was to keep Mondstadt safe, to keep her sister safe, not needing to worry about the monsters lurking outside Mondstadt's walls; she was glad that Barbara had friends like Aether to convinced her that just because she was the deaconess of the Church of Favonius, didn't mean that she shouldn't be able to live her own life. Friends like Kaeya and Diluc and Rosaria who would protect her from the monsters that Jean couldn't handle.

She couldn't ever imagine a world where just thinking, where caring about Barbara would hurt her, would bring her so much pain that she had to throw aside her love just to function properly.

The Abyss Herald shot him an unreadable look, before settling down, "That's enough. We'll stop here."

Ajax let out a confused noise, but he was grateful for the break; his legs felt like the rotten sludge in the Abyssal River he had touched while trying to take a drink, and he didn't know how much longer he could keep standing up.

"Most creatures dare not traverse here. Not even my kind." She continued to look around warily, "A brief respite shall do."

The boy collapsed on the ground, breathing in the miasmic air heavily, resting his back against a boulder as he shuddered, clutching desperately at his arms. His nails were digging into his flesh, drawing pinpricks of blood, but Ajax couldn't bring himself to care; this wasn't pain inflicted by the Abyss, his was pain that he was inflicting on himself.

A different kind of pain, pain that grounded him, that allowed him to clear his head.

"Do not think. Do not remember. There is no semblance of reason or logic here." She stated, "Memories of a past life can only hurt you."