Feral : Bellamy Blake

I Wish I Didn't Have Amnesia

I turned and saw Lincoln, pushing his way through the tent door with a hand clutching his shoulder.

"Brother, get me out, what the hell happened? Who are these people?" I pleaded all at once.

But it seemed he hadn't heard me, his eyes were too focused on my face and his expression was broken.

He ran to me and pulled the two straps from my upper body loose and grabbed me in a tight hug. "I thought you were dead." He whispered into my shoulder causing me to tense up under his hold.

I pushed him back, feeling overwhelmed with the situation.

"Someone explain." I said, releasing my legs from the restraints.

Soon a blonde ran in with Octavia with the exact worry everyone else wore.

Another headache hit me hard just thinking about knowing these people.

I put a hand up to her to stop her before she got to close. "Before you say anything, someone explain what the HELL is going on!" My voice rising impatiently with every word.

Apparently there were people from the sky. Apparently there is a war against the mountain. Apparently there was a missile.
Apparently I was banished.

I reached a hand up to my throat. A clear marking of my banishment was singed deep in my flesh. My heart beat out of my chest and a throbbing entered my head. "What more pain do you have for me to endure?" I asked the group, "Tell me now so that I do not have to face it later."

"Your father and sister..." Lincoln murmured.

"They're dead?" I asked, a lump rising in my throat.

"Yes."

I took in a deep breath and released a shaky one, trying my hardest to keep it inside. If what they say is true and I had indeed lost a year of my life, I would have felt this pain once before. I only wish I could remember how I coped. (Lol no you don't)

"Say no more." I said in one breath, head down and gripping to the table's edge to prevent a burst of tears.

How did I do it? Did their deaths lead to my banishment? I picked my brain for every memory I had that might inform me of their death. But all I got was images of being soaked in blood.

I closed my eyes and took in another deep breath, gathering my thoughts as well as I could though they kept slipping through the cracks in my memory.

"This war, I'm ready." I made a change of subject immediately. "Who do I answer to?"

"You're not ready, you have to rest." Abby told me. "Your body's been through a lot."

"I survived the missile, I can survive this war. It isn't your choice on wether I live or die!"

"You didn't survive the missile on your own, Cora." She growled.

I shot her a dark glance on my way out the tent once again.

"Someone risked their life for you. The only reason you're alive is because he died." Her tone was strange, like she was scolding me.

A woman I didn't know was scolding me.

I continued my glare and narrowed my eyes. "Who would even do that for me."

Her features softened like she instantly felt bad, she looked down and the others shifted uncomfortably around me.

"What?" I snapped "Can someone jus-" My eyes widened, my shoulders tensed. "No."

I ignored the pain and ran out of the tent, facing the black and grey without the same element of shock. I looked frantically around, in search of those vibrant colours. Surely not.

"Rajah?!" I called out through the village.

I ran across the crater, climbing up the hill and popping something on the back of my head.

The ruins told me I was roughly around what used to be Anya's command room. I scouted the rubble and burnt structures until I found what I was hoping not to.

I collapsed forward, a cry escaping my throat as my face morphed with the pain I felt. My already aching heart stung in my chest as I dragged myself close to his corpse, something else popping at the back of my arm.

"No..." I weeped, finally releasing every emotion I bottled before. I ran my fingers along his now black paw gently as tears poured down my face.

My dad was gone, the man I had loved the most. My sister was gone, the one who challenged me most. Rajah was gone, the one who taught me the most.

I didn't want to believe they were gone. It was all too much too soon. I clutched onto the fabric of where my heart was and sobbed, my lungs burnt with every gulp for air I made.

I looked back for a second and saw Lincoln embracing Octavia in an affectionate way, clearly something else I had forgotten. But seeing the two like that it was clear.

I was alone.