An Hour, A Half

The Cruise

I sit, waiting, peering at the airport timings, my husband next to me. He's annoying, he makes me frustrated, but I do love him. Today, he's going abroad for a business meeting, which, if I'm being honest, I am rather relieved about. He's a conscientious man, but yet, so am I. His name is Paul Johnathon, can you now see as to why I refused to take his surname? The surname Johnathon compared to my beloved surname, Hayes.

My names Ellis Hayes. At school, boys use to giggle and laugh at me for how boyish my name sounds, but I love it. It's different. You may be thinking, 'wow, Ellis is such a lovely lady,' just wait until you out about my job. I'm an LA c0p, although, my husband doesn't know. I told him I was a b1k1n1 w4x3r, I thought it sounded more 4ttr4ct1v3 than a woman who likes to go around sh00t1ng others. For good, obviously. As I said, today, my husband is going abroad to a business trip. He told me he'd get fired if he didn't go and, to be fair, I would not like him to get fired. He'd be at home 24/7.

I stand up and he kindly holds my face, kissing me as my head swirls with how ugly he is. Oh, yeah, by the way, I lied earlier and also forgot to mention that I don't really like him. I gingerly wave goodbye to him, I keep the attractive feminine act up as I stand gracefully in my t1ght 0utf1t. As he leaves, I finally let out a groan and rush to the bathrooms. I brought a briefcase with me that has comfier clothes in it as the drive to and from the airport is a tedious 2 and a ½ hours.

I order a coffee and sit down on a small, cramped table. I flick my eyes towards a group of men staring at me and 5m1rk1ng, if Paul was here, he'd go stir crazy. I ignore them and look at my watch. I leave, my half drunken coffee in my left hand as I go out into the rain, opening my car door. I place my coffee in the cup holder which is, annoyingly, on the passenger side. I shut the door and turn on the engine, I don't drive a fancy car, but it sure does get me around well enough. By now, you're probably thinking, 'who's this John McLane rip off?!' Well, do you know what I say to that? Yippie ki-yay m0th3rf7ck3r.

My drive home became 3 hideous hours due to the traffic. Gosh, I hate people. As I chuck my keys on my table and lie down on my sofa, I remember that I booked a cruise for myself, which is starting tomorrow. I get no rest at all, especially with Paul. He's a snorer.

After a tedious night of no sleep as I had to stay up packing, I leave to go on my luxurious cruise. I hope it's luxurious. It better be. I'm knackered.

Finally, I'm now sat in a room on the cruise, let's just hope that this doesn't turn into Titanic. I cannot be bothered to help people. I've had to go through a lot the past few years, here's my list; f1ght1ng of t3rr0r15t5, stopping things from b10w1n up, saving 11v35, saving 1iv35, saving l1v35! As much as I want to keep the public happy, gosh is it tiring.

As I go up to the top of the ship, I sit on a sunbed and light a cigarette to burn my thoughts away. I'm not sure as to whether smoking is allowed on cruises, but I really couldn't care less. As I sit there, attempting to look cool and mysterious with my cigarette and my shades on, I see a group of men looking awfully d0dgy, all sat around one in a circle another on a table. As I have fantastic instincts, if I do say so myself, I carefully watch their every move. Under the table, I see them passing g7ns to one another and passing b0mbs, along with, what looks like, d3t0n4t0r5, I am now alert as to the fact something is obviously going to happen on this supposed luxurious ship. So much for my break off.
Luckily, the drinks bar is right by their table, so I can listen in without looking suspicious. I stand by their table as one of them gets up and approaches the stand where I am, they trip and I have to catch them, "careful where you're going." I say, just to strike conversation so I don't sound d0dgy too, he chuckles at me and gives up on the drink, going back to the table.

I sit in my room and write down, on a notepad, everything I heard. I couldn't get everything as some of them were not English. From my notes, I can infer that they're going to b10w the 5h1t out of the 5h1p. Meaning that I have to save more lives. Yippie!! (That's sarcasm, I am not happy, I am angry and I am sad, give me my d4rn break off.)