Dejected | R. Suna

037

"Not that I don't want to— believe me, I really fuckin' want to... I'm sure you can feel how much I wanna do this." He replies with a little roll of his hips, making sure you can confirm just how hard you've made him. "It's not right for me to take advantage of your emotions when you're hurting like this."

It takes you a moment to respond— so many thoughts and feelings running through your head at nearly a mile a minute. The actuality of the situation sits unsettled in your stomach, the feeling of shame and regret starting to sink in once you finally come back to earth. You glance at Atsumu, who's chest heaves with each deep breath he takes, winded from the way you stole his breath when your lips where attached to his.

In an instant, you throw your arms around him and hug him tightly, sobbing incoherent apologies into the crook of his neck. He embraces you in return, delicates rubbing circles into the small of your back.

"Hey... it's okay... don't cry." He coos, making sure to speak extra softly in consolation. The way you shift yourself in his lap as you continue to let everything out definitely isn't helping the situation in his pants, but he manages for your sake.

"I'm so sorry 'tsumu— I don't know what came over me." You slur, voiced muffled into his skin that's been dampened with your tears.

"It's alright, everything's gonna be fine." He responds, stoking the back of your head gently as you finally lift yourself up to look him in the eyes.

"It's not!" You wail, your fingers griping tightly into the cotton of his shirt. "I should just... do it."

"Do what?"

"I should take Daisuke's offer... marry him." You say meekly, wiping your tears in defeat with the back of your sleeve.

"What?! No way!" Atsumu shouts, gripping your swollen cheeks into the palms of his large hands. "You can't do that, he's a douche bag... and Rin-"

"Rin doesn't want me." You interrupt, wiping up the reminder of tears that linger on your lashes. "You don't understand Atsumu, this is my life... this shitty hand I've been dealt. I can't escape my destiny."

"Bullshit."

"I'm serious!" You gripe, "No matter what I've done to escape my fate, it always ends the same— I'm stuck in this unrelenting cycle of cat and mouse with my family and their fucked up ideologies... im tired, Atsumu. I can't do it anymore."

"You can't give up, y/n."

"What other choice do I have? Rin was my last hope. I thought things would finally be different with him... I thought fate was finally in my favor, bringing me into a home with a family that needed me just as much as I needed them— it all just ended the same... I tried with Yuji, I tried with Rin, it just didn't work."

You sigh, finally accepting what you've been running away from your entire adult life. Why fight it anymore? You've expended every ounce of energy you've got left— nothing more to do or say other than to succumb to what you've always known to be your doom.

Just as Atsumu was about to offer his rebuttal, there's a sharp knock at the door. The two of you look at each other quizzically, before he speaks up."We're you expecting someone?"

"No...

I'm not sure who that could be."