is this love?

6

"jesus." nick breathed. "matt was wondering where you went off to."

my stomach flutters. "why didn't he just text me?" i ask. nick shrugs and texts someone on his phone. i look over and see it cameron.

i nudge his shoulder as i read their texts. nick smiles as he types: what if i come over??

"cameron leaves wednesday." nick sighs.

"hey, long distance is a thing." i try.

"yeah, but its obviously not like we are dating or anything. we will probably just snap for a while then grow apart and forget about each others existence."

"don't be so pessimistic. you never know, it could work out."

he abruptly sits up and looks at me apologetically. "sorry to leave you alone, but he just invited me over to his grandma's house. apparently she has a basement no one goes in." he gave me a mischievous look.

my jaw drops, "nick! you traitor of a horn-dog!" i push him giggling.

"hey, he leaves in three days and we have to make every day count." he heads to the window, "till next time, prisoner!"

"use protection, asshole." and with that he's gone.

i lay in my bed and scroll through insta. it has been about half an hour since nick left. i am starting to get hungry because it's past lunch time and i haven't eaten anything all day. skinny tings.

i text my mom sarcastically asking if i'm aloud to eat lunch. i get the bag of doritos that i keep next to my bed and eat them as i wait for a response.

a few minutes later she texts back saying yes, obviously. but now that i think about it, i don't really want to go downstairs where my parents are. currently, i hate them and the thought of going down there makes me nauseous with anxiety.

i settle for my doritos and whatever other random snacks i can find in my room.

an hour or so later my mom comes up to my room and tries to open my door. she gets angry that it's locked and demands i let her in. i open it and she informs me i'm aloud out of my room just not out of the house, probably because she realized locking me in my room literally all day could be considered child abuse. i halfway expected her to apologize because she does once in a blue moon when she has one of her fits on me. but no apology, just hard feelings

i end up only leaving my room to eat dinner with my parents, because they forced me. they seem to get over this stuff quickly, but i don't. i'm still upset.

i take my shower and get ready for bed. i am brushing my teeth when i realize neither matt or chris have even texted me today. i usually wouldn't care, but matt literally kissed me this morning. i hope he's not weird after today. i hope it's not awkward. i hope things will be like they have always been.

the fact the guys, or anyone for that matter, haven't contacted me all day makes me even more sad than i was to begin with. today has been a depressing day. well, except for this morning, of course. this morning was.... exhilarating.

even though it is only 11:00 pm, i decide to go to sleep since i have nothing better to do. suddenly, i hear a noise at my window. it slides open and i reach to turn on my lamp to see who it is. there are only three possibilities.

i turn on my lamp and am happy with which possibility it is. my favorite possibility. matt smiles at me from across my room and i smile back as i get out of bed.

"matt, what are you doing?" i ask still smiling. he looks at me confused, "since when do you go to bed so early?"

we go over to my bed and lay over the blanket and i tell him all about what happened with my parents today. "so yeah, i'm glad you're here because i've felt kinda alone all day." i conclude my story.

i look over at him and he looks over at me too. "why didn't you text us to come over?" that's a good question. "i don't even know."

"we missed you today." i just smiled at him. "now we have to go to school tomorrow." i groan.

"god, i fuckin hate school." he comments. "me too." i agree.

i look over at him again. i subtly move my face closer to his to see if he'll notice. he looks over. i look at his pretty pink lips. he looks at my lips too. i look him in the eyes and ask him, "can we kiss again?" he subtly nod then whispers, "yeah."

i lean in and let myself kiss him. i had been holding back the whole time he's been here. i kiss him, then pull back and look at his lips, then kiss him again. and again. and again.

i pull away and look down at him. he stares into my eyes and we just stay like that, looking at each other. then his hand comes behind my head and he pulls me back down to kiss him again. he opens his mouth and butterflies erupt in my stomach. i part my lips and his tongue slides in my mouth.

his tongue is hot and wet as it dances with mine. i lean in more, deepening the kiss and i feel his hand gently tug my hair as his other finds my waist, pulling me all the way on top of him.

suddenly i know we've gone too fair. well, i didn't want us to go farther, that is. i pull away and catch my breath.

i get off of him and sit next to him. "sorry." he breathes. "don't be sorry. i was the one directing." i laugh. he laughed too. i look over at him smiling up at me. "my parents would be so pissed if they saw us right now." i think out loud.

matt blushes, "you think?" he asks sarcastically. "i mean i'm not even supposed to see my friends for the rest of this week. and my mom doesn't like you guys coming through my window. and its late." i ramble.

"should i leave?" he asks. "no," i smile at him as he sits up, "you should stay." i put my hand in his hair. he leans into my hand and we smile at each other sweetly. "all night?" he ask and i nod, "all night."

we get under the covers and i cuddle into him. "any time your parents make you upset just call me and i'll come over." he whispers. i nuzzle into his chest at this. "okay."

actually, i don't want things to be like they have always been anymore. this is much better.