started off as a challenge || budson

fourty nine

i smiled, "it's called progress. i finally have the courage to say goodbye to him." "so, what? you're not crushing on him now?"

"step by step, kenz. i'll get there, don't worry." i said. "as you say." she sighed and nodded.

"then why don't you ask henry to go to prom." kenzie suggested. "yeah, no." i shook my head. "oh, come on, why not? he's free."

"i don't think asking him to prom is a bold move considering he knew why i was avoiding him when he first got here."

kenzie chuckled, "yeah, that was kind of stupid of you." she laughed, "thinking he has feelings for you?"

"shut up." i rolled my eyes, "and besides, why should i be with someone? i can go solo, you know."

"going solo on our last year of school prom? that's just sad." kenzie scoffed. "it's not! why are you being so mean." i crossed my arms.

"i'm not. i'm just saying you're such a catch that any guy would want to take you. give them a chance. you gave hudson a chance and look where you guys are."

"angry and devastated?" "in love." kenzie touched my shoulder. i took out a small groan and sighed.

"kenzie, it's not because i don't want to. i just don't think i'm ready." i said. "not ready for what? to let go of hudson?"

i huffed in frustration and stayed silent for a few seconds while crossing my arms.

but i couldn't deny, what she said was true. i didn't want to let him go. somehow to me it was too fast. he and i had one argument.

an argument that changed everything about us. that changed the way we see and feel about each other.

i knew i was hurting myself by trying to make us work. the only thing that could help was to let him go.

because i knew that if we really did love each other, we would find our way back to each other again.

-

i laid down on my bed, looking up to my ceiling. i was in the same position for ten minutes straight.

i didn't know what i was doing really. i was just bored out of my mind. i should've been asleep by then, but i just couldn't.

even though i seemed confident to block hudson in front of kenzie, i was still unsure whether it was the right thing to do.

i told kenzie i was going to prom solo simply because i didn't want anyone to take me.

and it was true. i was planing to enjoy my time alone rather than having someone to try and make me satisfied.

"momma's already in bed." jake knocked and went in my room then closed the door.

"okay, great." i nodded, still staying on the same position. not long after, jake went beside me and laid the same way i was.

"why are we like this?" he asked. i slipped a chuckle, "i'm not sure, but it's a bit comforting."

"where's huddy?" he asked.

dammit, jake.

i slowly closed my eyes and sighed.

"are you fighting with him?" he asked. i huffed, "you could say that." "but you guys are gonna make up, right?" he said.

i could tell by his voice that he was scared of my answer. he was nervous and i knew he didn't want to lose hudson.

"jake, what do you like about hudson?" i looked at him.

he looked at me too,  "i like how he's always there. he's fun to be around. he makes me laugh, and i like how he always comes over and watch movies with us. he lets me stay up past my bedtime."

i chukled, "yeah, i get mad about that sometimes." i said and he giggled with a big smile. 

"he's like a dad you could ever asked for." he caught me by surprise when he said that.

"a dad?" i asked, confusingly.

"yeah. even though he's like supposed to be a brother to me, he's like my own father figure." he finished off.

huh, that was surprising to hear. i looked back up to the ceiling while taking a deep breath.

it was crazy how hudson made a huge impact not only to me but to jake also. he really was an amazing person to begin with.

"you're gonna work things out with him, right?" he asked. i slowly nodded, "i hope so. but, what would you do if i just let him go?"

"i would be mad at you for the rest of my life, that's for sure." he said. i chukled, "yeah.. i wouldn't ever forgive myself either."

"if you and huddy break up, i'm gonna be super sad." "why? you only want us to be together so you could spend time with him too." i said.

"that's not true." he denied. "it is too." i said.

"it is not. i want you together because you guys are meant for each other. like, come on, the way he looks at you. don't you love him?"

i looked back up at the ceiling, didn't know how to answer him. i mean, really, how could i? it was like such an impossible question to answer.

i knew i loved him before, but i didn't really know if those feelings stayed or somehow faded away.

"let's just keep the answer as a mystery." i sat up, "now, come on, let's get you into bed." i said and went off my bed.

he did the same and we went to his room to tuck him in. he hugged his teady bear as i pulled the covers to his chest.

"have a good night sleep, okay?" i said. he nodded at me. "promise me you'll work things out with huddy?" he said.

i looked at him for a moment and gave him a small smile, "i'll think about it. now, get some rest." i said.

"okay, goodnight." he said and closed his eyes.

my smile grew wider as i looked at him. i gave him a kiss on the forehead, "night, honey." i said and went out of his room to mine.