Behind Broken Bars

Backstabber

( 2118 words)

Simon won't come to school. I really want...no, need to see him right now. I stare at my ceiling, like how I used to when I first got here. I would think about what Erik and I might do when I could go back home on the weekend, or what my life would be like here. Now I'm thinking about how my entire fucking life is ruined, and so is Simons' life.

I slide my phone out from underneath my pillow and decide to message him.
Please come? I know he won't reply, but it's worth a try. As I go to put my phone back underneath my pillow, it vibrates.
See you soon.

۞۞۞۞۞

I suddenly feel calm when I see him walk into class. I almost thought he had pussied out and decided not to come after all. He gives me a slight smile, trying to ignore all of the eyes on him and the whispers travelling around the room. I have kind of gotten used to all the stares. People can't really tell if it's me in the video, but everyone kind of took a guess that it was anyway.

۞۞۞۞۞

We walk into the boys locker room during class switches. I sit down on a bench, and he sits down on one that is across from me so that he can see me properly.
"Are you okay?" I ask him. I know it's a stupid question, but that's all I've got.
"I dont know," he stares at the floor while I fiddle with the sleeve of my sweater. "What are we going to do?" He looks up at me. I have never seen this expression on him. It worries me.
"I have to leave soon, to give my side to the public."
"Meaning what exactly?"
"I have to say whether or not I was the one in the video."
"What are you going to do?" He stands up and sits next to me.
"We're in this together," I hold his hand tightly. As if I will never get to hold it again...because I might not. I rest my head on his shoulder and we sit in comfortable silence for a while. I feel so at home.
"Together."

۞۞۞۞۞

Can you come over? I ask Simon. I want to see him one last time before I have to give my speech. I hope I will still be able to see him.
See you soon.

۞۞۞۞۞

"I like liking you," I say. I play with his hair while he lay in my lap. We don't have to say anything, we dont have to do anything, we just sit in silence. We both know that we're in this together and that we're together. I want him. My phone buzzes, so I try my hardest to reach for it on my bedside table from where I am so Simon doesn't have to move.
I am here. My mother is out the front, waiting for me.
"My mother is here."
"Can I walk out with you?" Simon sits up, looking like he is trying not to cry.
"Of course," I smile weakly.

We walk out the front, and I know my mother said not to be around or see Simon anymore, but I ignored her wishes, so she'll be angry. I dont care, though.
"Wilhelm," she looks to the left of me. "Simon," she nods at him, and gestures for me to get into the car. I hug Simon tightly before letting go and not looking back at him, because I know it will make me cry more than I already will.

۞۞۞۞۞

My heart is in my throat as I'm about to give my side. Although there is no one in front of me, there is still a microphone. This will be podcasted everywhere. I inhale deeply. The world feels like it has stopped spinning.

۞۞۞۞۞

As I'm walking through school, I keep an eye out for Simon. Every corner I turn I try to look for his head of curls, but there is no luck. Until I turn down the corridor I went down at the beginning. I see him walking towards the front doors, head hanging low. He is walking past a classroom, so I speed up and catch his arm before he can get any further and I drag him into the room.
"What the fuck are you doing?" He spits at me.
"Simon, please." I hold my hands out in front of me as if I'm surrendering my life.
"No, don't you fucking dare 'Simon' me. I thought we were 'in this together'?" Tears are falling down his cheeks, and all I want to do it hold him in my arms and wipe his tears away with my sleeve.
"Please, I can explain--" Just as I'm about to explain my reasoning for saying it wasn't me in the video, the door flies open.
"I know who recorded the video!" Simon and I look at each other and back at Felice.
"Who was it?" Simon and I say in unison.
"Simon I'm so sorry...it was Sara."