"you haven't talked to me in days and you want to tell me how much i mean to you?" i scoffed

"i-" he stopped as if he was holding back a floodgate of reasons for the past few days.

"you are...everything to me. there's not a single thing that exists to me, besides you." he finally spoke.

"you should take it easy on the alcohol" i teased

"stop...stop doing that!" he shouted, storming towards me.

"doing what?"

"the way you sabotage anything good, i've known you since we were children. you refuse to think someone might actually...." he sighed

"...might what?" i looked at him, hanging onto his words as if i was dangling from a cliff and they were the only thing keeping me from a free fall.

"...i don't know, i just-i can't lose you, Estella" his sentence went quiet.

his eyes went dark, i know this had to do with the other night.

"what did you see?" i scanned his eyes

"you need to promise me...no matter what, you'll try to get out of here."

"i promise, both of us will get out of here" i said still scanning his face

"what's that?" his eyes drifted to the book, behind my back.

"just a book"

"yeah?" his eyebrows raised

"want me to read it to you?"

he nodded, i grabbed his hand and walked him to the couch.

he sat down and i joined him, sitting on the arm rest.

i was hoping, reading this to draco could also give me some clues.

...

"it does not satisfy. it only makes him hungry to do more. man wants to own his existence. but no one owns time. he lowered his hand from Victor's eyes 'when you are measuring life, you are not living it. i know"

i was hesitating as Draco's hand went from his side, to my thigh. cold chills ran up my arm and down my legs.

"continue" he smirked

"he looked down. 'i was the first to do it' his face even paler now.-"

he began sliding his hand up my thigh as my breath hitched and my heart quickened, in which he would slide his hand back down.

i turned my attention from the book and looked at him, he was already looking up, watching me.

he turned me around to face him

"that's better" he spoke softly

i knew what he was doing, but i couldn't stop him. i was hanging onto what he would do next.

"on second thought" he stared directly into my eyes as if he knew what i was thinking.

he pulled me to his lap, facing him.

"does this work for you?" he tucked a piece of hair around my ear.

i nodded, completely speechless, in awe. Draco and i had been nothing but friends, sure we harmlessly flirted but nothing more.

"now, you may continue"

i wanted to ask him, "how the hell do you expect me to keep reading in this position?" but i didn't, i opened the book and began to read again.

before i even started, he ran his hands up both my thighs, slowly.

i held the book up closer since i could no longer hide my reaction.

his hand left my thigh and pulled down the book.

"i want to see you, watching you read is the best part" his hand went back to my thigh.

there was no way to hide it now.

"sometimes, when you're not getting the love you want, giving makes you think you will"

"so beautiful" he whispered, his hands slowly start to roam.

i closed my eyes and tried to catch my breath

he grabbed my hips and moved them gently. i closed my eyes tighter, trying not to react in any way.

my shirt slid up an inch or so as his cold hands hit my skin i threw the book to the floor.

my eyes were closed and i could feel his eyes burning a hole through my skin. his hands never left my hips as he continued to move them.

"shit-" i breathed

i wrapped my hands around his neck and crashed my lips to his. i knew it was bound to happen but i didn't think i'd want it this bad.

our kiss deepened and i wondered how he knew exactly where to touch.

his lips left my mouth and slid down my neck, i threw my head back as my breath quickened.

i sensed draco could feel my heart beat racing and my breath getting heavier when he picked us up from the couch, cleared the desk next to us and laid me down.

"i've always wanted to see you like this" his breathing was heavy as well.

"like what?"

"...wanting me" he finally spoke, smirking.

***
I woke up in one of the many rooms, i suppose which ever one was closer to the library.

i rolled over and seen draco sleeping, almost peacefully...we hadn't been able to sleep much since we were brought here

i curled up to his chest, he was warm and his skin was soft. he was still sleeping but his arms slid around me, i hadn't felt comfort in so long.

i wanted to stay like this, i wanted him to hold me forever, even after.

i wish this was how it was, just us, no danger. living our normal boring lives, going to work and back home, having a small dinner and curling up next to each other every night.

but it's not.

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