Three years. That's how long Ashton and I have been together. Three years filled with complete and total love, passion, and ecstasy. But lately, things have been taking a turn; a slow, more boring turn. Maybe we need to spice things up.
--
"Cheers to the new era," Luke says, holding up his beer. We're at his house, celebrating the launch of their newest single, COMPLETE MESS.
"Cheers!" Everyone mumbles and we all take a drink. I'm proud of the guys for how far they've come; and for all the work they've put into this new album.
"I'm just glad we get to go back on tour," Michael says and Luke nods.
"It's been so long," Calum agrees. "It's going to feel amazing to be back on stage." Ashton doesn't say anything, but nods in agreement. Tour is a sensitive subject between us, and he's trying to hold back his excitement.
"Have you picked out the drums for your kit yet?" Michael asks Ashton, who rests his hand on the small of my back, rubbing his thumb in circles.
"Yeah, they're all packed up, just waiting to get loaded onto the truck." He keeps rubbing circles on my back, trying to keep me calm. I take another drink of my beer, trying to hide the fact that my eyes are starting to tear up.
Ashton hasn't been on tour since we started dating. And with being locked in quarantine together for the past two years, it's safe to say we haven't spent a lot of time away from each other. This tour is going to be a major test of our relationship, and I'm terrified that things between us will end.
"Lauren, what will you do while we're gone? Got any plans?" Luke asks, and they turn their attention to me.
"No, not really. Haven't really thought about it," I say with a shrug. I take another drink and Ashton kisses my head. "Probably just working on my portfolio." I just finished college to become a photographer. I've done a couple freelance stuff, but not anything to make it into a career yet.
"It's too bad you can't come with us," Cal says. "You could get some amazing shots for your portfolio."
I smile politely; this is a scenario I've thought of before, but Ashton shot down, saying they didn't need anymore photographers. "Yeah, that's too bad."
Ashton clears his throat and excuses himself. My eyes follow him as he makes his way to the bathroom and shuts the door.
"What's his problem?" Michael asks and I shrug.
"Don't know."
Cal gives me a look, "Laur, come on. We've all noticed the shift in the way you guys are acting. What's going on?"
I sigh and finish off the rest of my beer, "Honestly, I think he's bored with me. Think he might cut his ties before you guys leave so he can hook up with someone on tour."
"Yeah right," Michael snorts, rolling his eyes. "There's no way he's bored of you. All he does is talk about you."
I shrug and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. "Just a feeling I have. But I don't wanna ruin this night by talking about that. You guys have worked too hard."
They drop the subject as Ashton walks out of the bathroom. He walks over and takes his seat next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into his side.
"What are you guys talking about?" he asks.
"Oh nothing," Luke says. "Nothing at all."
--
Four hours later, Ashton and I are pulling into the driveway of our house. He cuts the engine and looks over at me, reaching over and taking my hand in his.
"You've been quiet since we started driving. You ok?" he asks, squeezing my hand gently.
"Yeah," I say quietly, squeezing his hand back. "I'm good." I know he doesn't believe me, but he drops the subject, getting out of the car and walking to my side. He opens my door and I get out, him leading me to the front door. We walk inside and I'm immediately pinned against the door.
"I can tell you're not okay," Ash whispers in my ear, kissing down my neck slowly. "Wanna clue me in on what's wrong?"
I tilt my head, giving him more access. "Just gonna miss you."
He sighs against my neck. I know he's tired of talking about this. I know he wants me to just accept the fact that he's leaving and not be emotional about it, but I can't help it.
"Babe.." he starts but I cut him off.
"I don't want to argue about it right now, Ash."
"Alright," he says and takes a step back from me.
"I didn't say I wanted to stop whatever you were starting to do," I say, pulling him back to me. If I don't do something to distract him, he'll be in a pissy mood for the rest of the night.
He starts kissing my neck again, and I close my eyes. I have to soak up every second of this and burn it into my memory. A four month tour isn't that long, but when we literally haven't spent a minute apart since we started dating, four months is going to feel like forever.
**
A month later, and I'm at the airport dropping Ashton off. We're at the back of the airport, where the 5sos private jet is, so I'm able to get out and say goodbye.
"Bye Laur, see you in a month or so when we have our break," Michael says, wrapping his arms around me. I hug him back and he pulls away. Luke walks up and hugs me.
"See you soon," he pulls away and Cal picks me up, hugging me tight.
"Wish you were coming with us," he mumbles against my hair and I nod.
"Me too." He sets me down, kissing my head. Together, Luke, Michael, and Calum walk toward the jet, leaving Ashton and I alone.
I turn to him and he wraps his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. We've already said the majority of our goodbyes; we were all over each other yesterday. But still, in this last minute, I feel tears prick my eyes. I don't want to cry; I don't want Ashton to be upset, because I know he's extremely excited about this tour.
"Please take care of yourself while I'm gone," he mumbles in my ear.
"I will," I whisper, squeezing him hard.
He pulls back, holding my chin. "I love you."
"I love you too," I say and he kisses me. I kiss him back, and he pulls me against him, kissing me harder. Then he pulls back and picks up his suitcase.
"I'll text you when we get to Dublin, ok?"
I nod and he kisses my cheek, and walks towards the jet. Before he climbs the stairs, he turns and waves. I wave back and he disappears into the jet.
Now, I'm alone.
