Backstory and Secret Challenge!

Short Backstory and Secret Challenge!

Challenged by @BernzDemigodOfAthena

and @_TessBlack_

Well you guys challenged me so here goes! *TRIGGER WARNING* (by the way I put some words with - in them so that my internet protection won't block them)

My story is long but interesting, sorta sad... anyway I'll start at the beginning. I am the oldest of 7. I have 5 sisters and 1 brother. I was born on January 11th, 2000. I have dark brown hair and brown eyes. I had a pretty good childhood, aside from the fact that from the time between when I was 6 years old up until I was 9 I had been se-xually abused and I was violently r-aped when I was 10 years old. After that my life sort of went downhill from there. I never told anyone about the abuse or the r-ape until 2012, and then I had to go through a ton of stuff with the court. I got really depressed over the next year and in October of 2013 I resorted to scratching up my arms to let go of my emotional pain. I started getting s-uicidal and literally the only thing that kept me holding on was the fear of "where would I end up if I killed myself? Heaven or h-ell?" My parents found out about it a month later and I started getting better. 2014 was a new year with lots of fun and I thought I was going to be okay. However, things weren't okay. In February 2015 I found myself so emotionally numb that I took a blade to the undersides of my forearms and wrists. I wanted to feel something again, I wanted to feel alive. I've got 56 dark, raised scars on each arm now that I have to explain to people all the time. It's hard and frustrating, but I'm more than determined to never do it again. I hate having scars, but I guess I can call them my battle scars and they are beautiful in their own way. Now, I am getting help from a psychologist and getting progressively better. Other than that, my life has been filled with things such as music, baby siblings, animals, reading, and art.

Anyway, here are my secrets! (yikes)

1. I believe that fairies, unicorns, and dragons do exist, or at least they did at some point in time.

2. I absolutely HATE all country music except for Hunter Hayes. He is awesome.

3. This one is one that only people who know me *ahem* Bernadette *ahem* will understand... I actually liked Jacob way more than I liked Jerry for at least 3 years. Jerry wasn't actually ever my first choice. SURPRISE PEOPLE! xD

4. I have had 3 boyfriends that I actually wasn't supposed to be in a relationship with and all the relationships failed (the guys were all jerks in the end).

5. I've never been kissed or hugged by any guy other than my dad in my entire life.

6. No guy besides my dad has ever told me I'm beautiful in person. :(

7. I have always been extremely self-conscious about my weight even though I am a perfectly healthy and normal size.

8. I am not against gay people and I totally respect them as other people but I am against gay marriage.

9. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE STEREOTYPE OTHER PEOPLE OR THEMSELVES!

10. I never actually liked playing the piano.

11. I know how to say "This is my Body" in Latin without using any translator. (Hoc est enim in corpus meum) I know I'm smart.

12. I love singing and I want to be famous for it but I get extreme stage fright.

13. I would rather live in a cabin on the edge of a lake in Alaska than live in a big city.

14. I would choose hunting over shopping any day.

15. I always wanted to be a blonde.

16. I have violence and anger issues.

17. I have seen ghosts and a demon before in my house and we had to exorcise the house. And I once thought that I was possessed by a demon and it literally drove me insane with fear.

18. I really want an eyebrow, lip, or nose piercing and a tattoo on my wrist.

19. I think that when a guy wiggles his eyebrows it is extremely attractive.

20. I prefer being called "beautiful" or "pretty" over being called "hot".

21. I love breaking rules, so there are actually 22 things here.

22. I once licked a raw deer heart out of curiosity. It wasn't that bad actually.