𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 2☃︎

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Recap ➪

ɪ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴏ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏʀᴍ, ɪ ʟɪᴇᴅ. I ᴅᴏɴᴛ ғᴇᴇʟ sɪᴄᴋ, ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴜɴɢʀʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴀᴛ. Nᴏ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴀᴛ. I ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴀʟʟᴏᴡ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ ᴛᴏ.

☯︎

I can hear everyone sitting on the table, getting ready to eat, laughing, talking, having fun, 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒. Don't get me wrong! I'm not mad at them for doing all that without me...I mean if I'm mad at anyone it would have to be me. I told them I'm sick and that I'm not going to eat..s-so why do I feel so frustrated...?

I'm frustrated.

Not at them, at myself.

I'm frustrated at the fact that I can't even sit down and eat lunch with my friends, friends? What if they don't even see me as their friend, I'm probably the only one that thinks there is a friendship between us..

Why can't I just be normal? Why can't I just eat without thinking 'I don't deserve it', or that I'm 'too fat.' But its true though, I am 'too fat,' so...I won't eat! plus...if I was on that table with them right now, I would probably ruin the mood.

I go into my cupboard which has a loose floor board, I take off the floor board  to see an orange book with lighting bolt stickers all over it, yep! it's my diary it has my name in big bold black pen! I think it's kind of cool. When I write in my diary I feel free, my dairy is my only friend.

It doesn't judge me, it listens to all my problems and it knows the true me! It doesn't call me dumb, if you think about it, it's the only thing that doesn't think I'm dumb...do you get me? When I look around I feel like everything and everyone is judging me. The walls in my room? Laughing at me. it's stupid right? Even I think I'm dumb.

I take my black and orange pen, I like it because it has a lighting bolt at the end! and then I take my diary...I take a deep breath and let out my feelings.

            ☔︎               ----------------               ☔︎
                          I ᕼᗩTᗴ ᗰYՏᗴᒪᖴ.                                                        
                                                             
                         I ᕼᗩTᗴ ᗰY ᖴᗩᑕᗴ.
                         I ᕼᗩTᗴ ᗰY ᕼᗩIᖇ
                         I ᕼᗩTᗴ ᗰY ᗷOᗪY
                         I ᕼᗩTᗴ ᗰY ᐯOIᑕᗴ
               I ᕼᗩTᗴ ᕼOᗯ I ᖴIᑎᗪ Tᕼᗴ ᗰOՏT                     
                                   'ᗴᗩՏIᗴՏT'
                       TᕼIᑎᘜՏ ᗪIᖴᖴIᑕᑌᒪT.
                     ᗯᕼY ᗩᗰ I ՏO ᗪᑌᗰᗷ?
                            I ᕼᗩTᗴ ᗰYՏᗴᒪᖴ.
 
   ᗪOᑎT YOᑌ TᕼIᑎK Tᕼᗴ ᗯOᖇᒪᗪ ᗯOᑌᒪᗪ               
         ᗷᗴ ᗩ ᗷᗴTTᗴᖇ ᑭᒪᗩᑕᗴ ᗯITᕼOᑌT ᗰᗴ?    
                   Yᗴᗩᕼ, I TᕼIᑎK ՏO TOO.       

I ᕼᗩTᗴ ᗰY ᕼᗩᗪᗯᖇITIᑎᘜ
I ᕼᗩTᗴ Tᕼᗴ ᗯᗩY I TᕼIᑎK
I ᗩՏᒪO ᕼᗩTᗴ TᕼᗩT TIᑎY ᐯOIᑕᗴ.

I ᕼᗩTᗴ TᕼᗩT ՏTᑌᑭIᗪ TIᑎY ᐯOIᑕᗴ Iᑎ ᗰY ᕼᗴᗩᗪ!

TᕼᗩT ᐯOIᑕᗴ TᕼᗩTՏ ᑕOᑎՏTᗩᑎTᒪY TᗴᒪᒪIᑎᘜ ᗰᗴ I'ᗰ ᑎOT ᘜOOᗪ ᗴᑎOᑌᘜᕼ                                                                                         
                                                                        
               "ᗪᗴᑎKI YOᑌ'ᖇᗴ ՏO ᗪᑌᗰᗷ"   
              " ᗪᗴᑎKI ᕼᑌᖇT YOᑌᖇՏᗴᒪᖴ"
               "ᗪᗴᑎKI KIᒪᒪ YOᑌᖇՏᗴᒪᖴ"
             "ᗪᗴᑎKI ᗯᕼY ᗪO YOᑌ ᗴ᙭IՏT?"
                  
              "ᗪᗴᑎKI ᗯᕼY ᗪO YOᑌ ᖇᑌIᑎ...  

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