Break Even

SIXTEEN: OLIVIA

Carefully, I wiggle out of his hold and head into his bathroom. The phone rings once, twice.

"Liv?"

"Jordan." I begin to sob. "I— I'm in trouble." I choke the words out.

"Where are you? Stay there. I'm coming to get you." I hear the panic in his voice and what sounds like shuffling.

"I'm at Spencer's." I practically whisper.

"What?" Jordan questions, but his voice is calmer. He heard me.

"I'm at Spencer's parent's house."

"Oh no, Olivia. No. Please don't tell me. Not again."

Not again. We have, in fact, seen this film before.

"I—" my attempt to speak fails.

I've never been kissed the way Spencer kissed me. My entire nervous system was rocked to its core just from the feeling of his lips. My brain has been rewired, and my heart is officially screwed because if I even thought I'd be able to give it to someone else, he just confirmed to me it's no longer mine to give.

Spencer James hold my heart entirely in his hands, and only an idiot would believe I had a shot in the dark of getting it back. Kennedy's boyfriend has completely undone me.

The chemistry between us was the most devastating drug that infiltrated my veins and left me wanting more, craving the high. All sense of logic dismissed. I have to get out of here, now. I have to get away from him before he wakes up and realizes what a colossal mistake he made. I can't stomach him telling me how he's going back to her because he will— they always do.

I got stolen moments, but she'll get him.

"Just breathe, Liv. I'll be there soon." Jordan's voice is comforting. Soon enough, this will all be over. I'll walk out of this door, and I'll start detoxing. I've now identified my drug of choice, which means I know exactly what I need to avoid. So step one of ridding Spencer James from my system starts the moment I leave this home.

I tug at his sweatshirt that I know I should take off, but can't. It smells like him.

A knock on the door stops my mind from racing. I can't open that door. I can't let him in. Yet, despite me knowing this, my feet find themselves gravitating toward the door, my hand hovering over the knob. He couldn't even make it through the night. He has to tell me now, face to face, how much of a mistake we were.

My breathing slows until my lungs are barely moving. I grip onto the handle, and my head screams at me to stop. When have I ever been known to listen?

Don't do it, Olivia.

But it's already done. The door opens painfully slow, and Spencer is on the other side, holding himself up, his arms high on the doorframe, head hanging low.

He stands there, defeated. Each breath a struggle as the stress radiates off of his body. Finally, his eyes snap up to mine, and I implode.

His stare tears into me in a way where I've never felt more naked. My fragility is on full display, and I swear my knees will give out at any moment.

"Do you know why tigers hold such allure?" His brown eyes, they're soft— softer than I've ever seen. I don't know where he's going with this, but I'm sure it's a polite way of telling me I'm his greatest regret.

"They're a symbol of untamed nature. The moment I laid eyes on you for the first time, I knew there wasn't a chance in hell of you ever being tamed, and it inspired me."

And then you got to know me, and I ruined your life.

"The thing about tigers is, while it's initially the intrigue that draws you in, the more you see of a tiger, the more you learn exactly how beautiful it is. The stripes they display are a coat of armor. They exude strength and grace all at the same time. Tigers are elusive, and you can't see them—" he releases his hands from the door frame and slowly closes the distance between us. "Truly see them, unless they want to be seen. There's a reason they're known to be so dangerous."