Operation: Scorpion

Kathryn's POV:

Kathryn Janeway, Personal Log, Stardate 99803.38.

It's been two weeks since the Borg Invasion, and I'm the best I've been since. I can't believe that we survived, that we, a lost Starfleet Crew in the Delta Quadrant, will live to tell this tale.

Chakotay and I still aren't on the best of terms. He takes no notice of me, and we barely even talk. After he disobeyed my orders, I can't seem to put the same trust in him anymore. We've broken mutual trust in each other, and it'll never be the same.

B'Elanna is in charge of removing all the Borg Technology on the ship, though she acknowledged that the power couplings on Deck 8 work better with the Borg improvements.

Our drone is still in the process of regaining her humanity, and we're all in the process of trying to recover from this ordeal.

I-I can't believe Kes is gone. I feel like I've lost my own child. I know that she isn't my own blood, but she sure made me feel that way.

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"Good morning, Captain."

"Morning, Harry," she replied as he handed her a PADD.

"My monthly ops report," he said, wearing a proud smile on his face.

"Thank you Ensign," she said uncharacteristically, without enthusiasm or energy, and none of the usual warmth in her voice.

In light of recent events, it wasn't surprising. There were a lot of frayed nerves, and most notably, a betrayal of trust; the trust his captain put in her first officer.

She glazed over his report and handed it back to him.

"Great job, Ensign."

Again, without the enthusiasm...the warmth.

"Thank you, ma'am."

After a few more seconds, she looked up at him.

"Anything else?"

"Uh, nothing, ma'am."

"Dismissed."

She was getting dangerously thin. He noticed that the natural flush in her cheeks was gone, replaced by pale skin, and her cheekbones became far more prominent.

This was nothing like the Captain Janeway he knew. She was a shell of the woman she was; Vulcan almost. Emotionless, inexpressive, stoic. Everything Kathryn Janeway was not.   

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It was 0600 hours, and the Commander had just finished the night shift. He detested serving on the night shift, but someone had to keep this ship up and running when its captain wasn't.

Captain...how ironic.

He betrayed her.

No matter how many excuses he made, he couldn't even bring himself to believe what he'd done.

The words of Captain Jean-Luc Picard were one of his few comforts.

"The claim 'I was only following orders,' has been used to justify far too many tragedies in our history. Starfleet does not want officers who will blindly follow orders without analyzing the situation."

"Blindly follow orders..."

He was proud that his love for Kathryn didn't impair his judgment, but the look in her eyes had changed.