Things You Discover When Talking To Yourself

The Happiness Myth

A random prompt showed up on my social media timeline today: How do you know whether you're truly happy?

Some claim that happiness is a myth. It isn't as easy as believing in yourself and then things will start to fall on your lap. It's more than just staying positive most of the time, too. So what can be defined as happiness then?

I asked myself the question a lot. Was it when I had enough money for bills and savings? Was it when I got to eat my favorite food with my favorite friends? Was it when I could finally spend some time alone and get in touch with myself? Apparently it wasn't that easy. To know what happiness is for me, I first need to acknowledge that it's okay to not be happy all the time. Happiness is not my default emotional setting. My emotions fluctuate, I am sad when I lose someone, I am frustrated when things don't go my way and I am worried when I have to plan for the future. These emotions alongside joy, excitement and happiness are part of human nature. Basically, I found out that there's no one default emotion. Let alone happiness as a perpetual state of human being.

With the fluctuation, I then noticed that happiness doesn't equal a one-time good feeling. I may be happy that I get to enjoy my favorite food, but how long would that last until I crave for something else? Until my next meal? And it's rather impossible to keep a constant good feeling, because then I'm pressured to always be content and there's no happiness in such a pressured life. So maybe happiness is a more general condition. The good and the bad (as long as they're balanced), the satisfied and disappointment, as well as other opposite feelings that fulfilled one another.

I guess, in the end, happiness is about accepting who I am. The flaws and the courage, the good days and the bad moments, the sadness and the smiles, just everything that made me who I am.

So what questions can be used to see whether I am happy?

1. Am I satisfied where I stand now? Anything I need to change? Anything I want to change?

2. Am I spending my time doing what I valued the most? With the people I love the most?

3. What things I'm thankful for this past week?

4. Am I being complimented on something recently? Elaborate more on the story and how I feel about it.

5. Have I used my strength recently? What was the result? Am I proud of it?

6. How do I feel when I have to do things I dislike? Anything I do after to balance it out?

7. How does the world influence me? Or do I think I'm influencing the world?

8. What are things I used to enjoy but not anymore? What changed?

9. On the other hand, what are the things I used to hate but am getting fond of recently? What changed?

10. What prevents me from being happy?