suffocating

'02

jaehyun's fingers were running through the latter's soft locks, staring into the man's gorgeous eyes.

it was like falling in love all over again.

they were laying down on the grass, resting in each other's arms as jaehyun whispered sweet nothing to the elder.

johnny had a big smile on his face, holding the latter's hands.
'i love you so much' he whispered as he closed his eyes.

and then he was gone.

his eyes shot open and everything was pitch black.

no more jaehyun, no more soft grass, no more flower fields.

just darkness.

the man started falling into the deep void and then he froze.

his surroundings had completely changed and now he could see jaehyun and what seemed to be a girl talking with him.
they seemed happy. the younger was looking at the girl with love in his eyes and a smile on his face.

'why cant you look at me like that?'

jaehyun leaned in and kissed the girl in front of him-

what?

johnny was curled up on his bed, his sheets messed up from all the shuffling. his hands were gripping his hair tightly like his life depended on it. he was trying to catch his breath like he had been running the whole night.

'it was just a dream..' he mumbled as he loosened his grip on his hair and sat up in the bed.

johnny looked at the clock on his wall, 6:53, he was up quite early. he cleared his throat in hopes of pushing back the cough that was ready to escape his mouth but failed and as every morning, he found himself bent over the toilet, coughing out the gorgeous flower that was slowly killing him.

he didn't have much time left, only six months to live if he didn't do the surgery. but how could he do it.

it hurt.

johnny cleaned himself up and the mess on the bathroom tiles.

he leaned on the sink, gripping the edges as he stared at his reflection in the mirror.

he was exhausted. the colour on his hair was fading away and it was in patches, his eye bags were darker than before and he had gotten skinnier. with a sigh, he stepped out of the bathroom and back into his bedroom.

after picking something to wear, he took his school bag and ran out the house before anyone was awake.
7:36, he had 24 minutes to get to the school and 15 minutes to wander and get ready for his classes.

johnny liked to keep everything organised since his health was so bad. he had to focus on something else.

he reached the school and went straight to his locker, taking his books out for his first class. he didn't have classes with jaehyun until after lunch which relieved him for some strange reason.

seeing him, his beautiful smile an hearing his gentle voice, i love him so much, it hurts.

before he headed to the classroom, he stepped into the bathroom and into one of the stalls doing his morning routine.

attempting on clearing his throat, he had lily petals stuck on the walls of his trachea and was struggling to get rid of that irritation.

he stopped caring if someone would walk in because it got so normal.

a portion of the school knew that one student had the disease so it didn't phase them as much.
fortunately for johnny, nobody knew it was him.

after multiple attempts and five minutes left till his class starts, johnny stepped out of the stall and washed his hands while blankly staring at his reflection.

pathetic.

that's what the boy thought of himself whenever he caught a glimpse of his face. falling so deeply in love with your best friend, to the point where you were dying? stupid and pathetic.

he let out a sigh and started heading to his class.

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it was lunch time and the hallways of the school building were like a beehive buzzing with noise.
talking, laughing, shoe squeaking, lockers closing and opening.

johnny was very much not enjoying it and immediately headed outside to the school yard where he usually had lunch with jaehyun.

speak of the devil.

there he was, sitting under a tree, peacefully reading his book when he heard the footsteps of the older.

he looked up from his book and at johnny with a warm smile on his face.
'hi johnny'

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HI HAHAHA
i updated this
next chapter will probably be uploaded in a long time because i just can't deal with it
i hope you enjoyed tho!